To be scared of driving on motorways ?

[Tulippilut]

I passed my test 6/7 years ago. Never been on a motorway.

I was a very nervous driver to start with , I hated it. Covid hit and the roads were quieter so I went out a bit more. There wasn’t much to do so I drove a little further afield .

The most I have ever drove is about 40 miles away. However, I used to be petrified of the city centre then one day I just did it. Now I regularly do ( I live in a big city , very busy city centre . People I know who live in smaller areas say they would hate to have to drive in my city ) . I am always out and about now - I can get in the car and be doing so much that I easily drive around for 4 hours ) . I drive daily for work , through another busy town centre.

I will occasionally drive out of my way a little to avoid a right turn I don’t like 🤣 and I stay away from multi lane roundabouts if I can help it . I do also get a bit scared about overtaking buses / lorries .. there have been times I have stayed in the left lane behind them when everyone is overtaking them ! I do drive on plenty of dual carriageways / those big a roads .

I would love to take the children to the beach for a day out but the closest is 2 hours away and on a motorway. I have never driven on a motorway . I don’t know if I have left it too long or built it up in my head too much that I would be too nervous ? It’s the idea that you’re on there and you can’t just sneak out on to a side road .

Any advice or do I just leave it now ? I would want to be completely comfortable as I would be carrying precious cargo ( my children ! )

YABU - just do it already
YANBU - you have left it too long

Just to help the OP, you can't always stick to the left hand lane until you want to come off. On some motorways, like the M25, the left hand lane becomes the exit lane, ie if you're driving in it, you will be taken off the motorway. If driving on the motorway, you do need to feel confident switching lanes - you can't rely on being able to stay in the left hand lane.

I didn't drive for a good few years after initially passing my test. I booked a refresher driving course of 4 lessons. The last lesson was the motorway.

It was brilliant. I had to get on the motorway, get off at the services, get back on the motorway and off at the next junction. And repeated the same thing thing in reverse. The instructor gave me some great tips. Like, it is safe to move back into the left lane when you can see the whole vehicle you are overtaking in your rear view mirror. 20 odd years later I still remember that and find myself doing it!

The instructor made sure I overtook, used all of the lanes, and could use the slip lanes properly (services ones tend to be shorter and trickier). Well worth the money.

Within a week of passing their test, my teen was driving themselves to college and back on a busy motorway daily.
I'd been on it with them once to show them the way.
We had, however, done a LOT of practise on busy A roads while learning.
What I said to them, was to just treat it like an A road. Still 70 mph, still all going in the same direction, there just may be an extra lane or two.

If you can do A roads, you can do motorways.
You got this.

I used to be the same then I got a job that was a motorway drive away, and now I prefer motorways to other roads. Like others have said, book a few lessons on one.

I passed my test at 17 but only got a car and started driving at 35! I hated driving and every journey ended in tears. I was like you - scared of motorways, big roundabouts, overtaking.

I just kept persevering, helped by the fact I HAVE to drive to see my ageing parents who are 3 hours away.

After about a year of chipping away at it - including pulling over safely to have a couple of panic attacks! - I became a really confident driver. 5 years later and I honestly LOVE driving. My husband works all over the UK and I drive to meet up with him, and will literally go anywhere - motorways, mountain passes - you name it.

Keep trying OP!

I did my first motorway driving in Pass Plus and had 3x 2hour lessons (I had covered the other areas of the course in my lessons)

It was great to be talked through techniques for merging and lane changing and has left me with good confidence for motorways and NSL dual carriageways since.

Key tips:
Get to the speed of traffic while on the slip road, sight your gap and move in. You may need to tweak speed to match the gap.
Look ahead as far as you can see for planning, don't focus just on the vehicle in front.
Keep left unless overtaking
Keep using your mirrors. Rear view is best for forward planning. Wing mirrors for details.
Move left when the overtaken vehicle is visible in your rear view- this means you've given them enough space.
Follow gantry instructiond.
Don't suddenly slow down after moving left, you should be able to maintain your speed.
Generally you should have enough braking distance on exiting slip roads so shouldn't brake by default on the main carriageway (but be aware of slower vehicles or congestion)

There are instructors with motorway tips on youtube Ashley Neal and Conquer Driving are good.

Motorway driving is relatively simple, and mainly uses skills you should already have. While you need to be aware of what's behind and ahead, everything moves in the same direction with fewer random considerations like bikes, pedestrians, turning into drives, planning your lane now for a road layout in 3 junctions time etc so observing and reacting to the flow of traffic is simpler.

I am the same,! Been driving 31 years. I am feeling nervous about dual carriage way ,as had cancer and haven't driven far recently . My friend finds it easier though and DH as well.

The more often you do it the easier it becomes. I have had jobs that included a commute on the motorway and find out of city driving, country lane driving and motorway driving that motorway driving is by far the easiest.

The suggestions to get some motorway driving lessons are very sensible.

I'm scared of motorways too, had a nightmare once that I took the wrong turning on a roundabout and ended up on the motorway! I'm scared of driving anywhere more urban than my small town too. I know this limits me so my plan is to get some city driving and motorway lessons at some point when I have the time (would have to take time off work, don't live close enough to either to do in an evening)

I find that google maps is really helpful when planning any out-of-the ordinary journey. I look at it in advance using Street View to get a sense of the junctions, the lane that I will need to be in and any key landmarks e.g I will need to take exit 5, just after the Big Yellow storage. Don’t just rely on SatNav, try to get the route into your brain in a more organic way too.

Also to remember, it’s not just you - some junctions are difficult and were originally designed when traffic volumes were far, far lower. There is a fabulous old website called ‘Bad Junctions’ which analyses the layout at particularly tricky spots such as Handy Cross M40 or the Almondsbury M4/M5 Interchange near Bristol. It often concludes that road planners were trying to do too much at a single junction or allowing insufficient time and space for drivers to make particular manoeuvres. But a bit of forward planning and knowing what to expect can really help.

Not all exits on the M25 that do that. Sitting in the left lane all the time isn't great for those trying to join so the OP should practice lane changing on the A roads she is ok on now. 100% agree with lessons and also...multi lane roundabouts are ok..trust and follow the signage and marking for the exit you want and check your blind spots when moving over.