Angry over mansplaining old bloke

[Nic1210]

I stupidly clipped a parked car this morning in a residential street, left a note and then the owner of the car came out. After exchanging details, he was pretty adamant not to go though insurance, this just made him seem quite sus from the get go.
I put in a claim for the minor damage this afternoon for the fault and posted the claim info through the letterbox.

What has made me angry is how this bloke came out lecturing me for a good 5 mins after posting the note not to go through insurance and that if I should discuss the matter with my husband (as if my tiny woman brain could not compute paying for a higher premium next time I renew - which I have considered and can live with). I did discuss the matter with DH before putting in the claim for reassurance and we both agreed to have a third party involved as this bloke seems dodgy. He also parks his car in the road close to a junction and said this happens to him a lot, which makes me question whether I did the damage in the first place! Especially seeing my car came off without a scratch.

I kept calm whilst he spoke down to me. I just can't work out if he was being genuine and looking out for me not paying more later down the line for this minor scrape or if he was trying to manipulate me not to go through insurance?

Am I being unreasonable by not trusting this bloke and dealing with the matter through my insurance?

Any “lecture” from a middle aged man makes me feel stabby. Even if they had a good reason I’d still find it irritating. My litmus test is ‘would they do that to a man?’ If not, they’re out of order whatever their beef is.

Was he asking for cash to repair the damage? How much?
If just a small amount, and you have no damage, I see his point.

Do you have protected no claims? I clipped a car a few years ago, told insurance company and never gave it a second thought as they dealt with it all. Didn’t even affect the following year’s premium. It was actually less.

Perhaps he uses it as a way to just get some extra cash. Keeps the money without fixing the scuff.

Yes I've never had to claim before, my gut feeling was that this man is having me on as the damage was so minor and he made such a fuss.
I may have considered not putting in the claim and not involving the insurance co but he was just a bit too insistent on resolving privately.

A friend of mine recently clipped a parked van with his car and left a note as he couldn’t find the owner. He contacted his insurance company with the details and it turned out the van wasn’t insured. Maybe it’s a similar situation here.

Could it be that he doesn’t have insurance, and if you go through yours it will come to light?

Or maybe he just wants to ask for an inflated amount for the damage.

Definitely came off that way. Not my problem if he does not insure his car and I'd much rather risk paying a bit extra on my insurance than part ways with my cash to a sexist bloke who may be trying to rip me off.

If you have his reg you can find out if the car is insured, taxed and MOT’d online.

That's a good idea, I'll have a look. Thanks for the advice

Did you get a photo?

I don't think you're allowed to park close to a junction. Is it 10 metres you're supposed to leave?

Got a photo of the damage but not the junction, he was probably just about ok where he parked. May look into it further if there are any problems.
Just him saying that it happens to him a lot made me question whether it was someone else that had scuffed his car and I was an easy target to blame due to being honest about the bump.

I think you're absolutely right to trust your instincts about this man and to use your insurance . I accidentally clipped another car whilst parking a few weeks ago. The owner first of all kept telling me how expensive the repair would be. It was certainly a new looking car, but the damage didn't look that bad to me and mine had no damage at all. Then he kept phoning me saying he needed It sorting quickly so I told him to speak to the insurance companies not me . The next thing was that it would cost £500 to repair, and don't use the insurance company and then our no claims discount would be safe. Then he kept dropping the price. I just didn't trust him so I blocked him and told the insurance company.