Arguing dummies cause bad teeth but sibling didn't need braces

[NaicePinkCrotch]

I've got a 16 month old and I'm trying to stop the dummy. Everyone around me is either pro dummy or dead against it.

I have had braces and jaw surgery due to my mouth breathing.

My little one has curved teeth at the top.

Issue is those around me say "but your siblings didn't need braces" and the like.

What do I do.

I have PND and PNA and like the dummy to "shut up" baby.

Am I too late to stop?

Get rid of it. I was addicted to the dummy and my mum caved and allowed me to have it for too long. Then when I finally gave it up I thumb sucked instead. My teeth stick out awfully because of it and I really regret it. Get rid of it before she's old enough to argue back about it. She'll get over the change soon.

How will I deal with the crying

My son had a dummy until he was 2.5. He had a gap between his bottom and top teeth. Within 4 weeks of ditching the dummy the gap had gone.

It’s your baby who cares what others say? Wean them off it as much as you can during the day but distracting them and find a new comfort.

My DD stopped her dummy at 10 months but still went onto hsve braces for other reasons.

You need something safe to replace it. Maybe a soft teething toy that she isn't able to constantly suck? Hopefully someone can advise better or just Google for ideas. All I'm telling you is that dummy definitely do lead to teeth problems. Don't make the same mistake that I did.

Honestly you just ride each wave as it comes! And it is so hard but on the other hand they could honestly easily get used to not having it

Are you getting support for your PND?

If not, I wouldn’t do anything drastic that may trigger you. Personally I don’t agree with dummy use but it’s more important at this stage that you’re stable and able to be a safe and loving parent.

If you are getting support for your PND, I would think now is a good time to wean off. It’s one of those things where it’s easy to allow it but ultimately it’s harming your child. Same as those kids who rock up to the dentist with rotten teeth because the parents gave up on enforcing teeth brushing. It won’t kill the child, but good dental hygiene and alignment is so important for health, hygiene, confidence and future mouth health.

Do you have anyone who can support you through it? Be around should your child become louder or upset more? Who can share the bedtimes with you?

I think I let my son have his dummies( yes, we had loads!) for too long. He didn’t have tooth problems but he was still having them when he was 2-3 and he would even talk with them in sometimes. He’s got a slight lisp and I do wonder if it’s because I let him have them for too long. Wish I’d stopped it earlier.

My kids used dummies.

One had a dummy until he was six (used to hide it in his pocket!).

All four have lovely straight teeth, now they’re adults.

I think it’s mostly genetics, luck of the draw and all that. What worked for me was encouraging them to take the dummy out of their mouths when talking/singing nursery rhymes etc.Then when they got to 2+ years of age, start the “only for home” routine. It doesn’t have to be traumatic or a big deal.

Have confidence in your own parenting abilities and enjoy your child.

Hope you’re getting support in real life for your mental health.

Toddlers are hard work!

You attend to your child. Wet? Unwell? Hungry? In pain? None of the above?
’I like it to shut baby up’. What a horrible thing to say.

We weaned DC off the dummy by only allowing it for naps and bedtime (and then gently taking it out of their mouth once they were asleep). Once we'd cracked that, we made it bedtime only with the popping it out once they were asleep. Then we 'planted' it in a little bowl of sand and the next morning it had grown into a new toy (DC was 2 by then so had a little bit more understanding).

Distraction was the key for every step of it, DC would ask for their dummy but a pretend search and "oh dear, I can't find it. Let's get the toys out/let's paint/let's have a snack/let's have a cuddle instead" worked wonders.

Get support for your PND. Leave worrying about your baby’s dummy use (if indeed you consider it to be a problem then) until you have that sorted.

Easier for a 2-3 year old to stop using dummies than it is for a three year old to stop sucking their thumb. Or a nine year old, for that matter. Also much easier to sterilise a dummy than a thumb or two fingers.

I chose my battles - and dealing with a shrieking, unhappy baby was not one I wanted to fight, so I obviously had the MIL declaring that the Family Dentist stopped her in the street to congratulate her on encouraging her 3 to suck thumbs and fingers throughout childhood rather than a common dummy for a couple of years. Caught her once taking the dummy out of DD's mouth when she was almost asleep and trying to force her thumb in there instead.

That never happened again.

Do what's right for you - and if that's using a dummy, use it and ignore the others - because your wellbeing (and sleep) now is more important than whether a child needs braces in 12 years time.

Go with it for another while.
Whatever makes life easier at the moment.
I took it off DS very young at 8 months, because I learned the hard way with his older sister.
She was 4. Neither need braces, my niece OTOH has a lot of damage to the shape of her mouth.

OP is being honest. Lots of people give dummies (or breastfeed) to keep baby/toddler placated.

Don’t like how you’ve been so judgmental about a mum trying to cope with mental health issues while thinking about what’s the best way to deal with a fairly common toddler issue.

You give them other comforts instead, lavender pillow spray, a teddy to cuddle, milk before bed

Ime (10 dc who had a dummy) 1 dc with a genuine over bite same as mine (no dummy)..needed braces..
Ime dody teeth move quickly even at age 3+...

DC1 had a dummy and "the dummy Fairy" came when he was 2.5 and took it off him (they left a big present) and his teeth are perfect.

DC2 refused a dummy and found her fingers at 12 weeks. Brilliant...or so I thought. Her teeth and bite were dreadful and she ended up with braces for 3 years. They are perfect now...but yeah dummies are much easier to limit and take away.

Some babies are just sucky. Try and limit the dummy to sleep times and tired times but don't beat yourself up giving then a dummy. They are very useful.

She's just explained she has post natal depression and anxiety. It's far better parenting to face that head on and identify what triggers might be and manage that.

The whole business of pretending mothers should be superhuman and not being affected by hard parts of parenting belongs in the 50s.

If she wasn't a good mum, she wouldn't care and be on here trying to balance up what's best to do and how to do it.

I hate it when people open up about their vulnerabilities such as MH issues and some nasty person tries to kick them when they are down.

@NaicePinkCrotch fwiw none of mine had dummies (they had no interest when tiny so just never became a thing) and 2 out of 3 have needed braces and orthodontic work.

I would just do what's right for your family

I think dummies are actually good for teeth as they are softer than a thumb

I sucked my thumb and have crooked front teeth so I gave all 3 of my children dummies, they had them for ages, only ditching them once they went to school, they all have perfect straight teeth, never needed any work

Both my DDs had their dummies for far too long, although thankfully only at night. Think they were about 7: when they finally gave it up. One needed braces, the other didn't. My DS wouldn't take a dummy but am pretty sure he's going to need braces.
You don't have to get rid the dummy right now. You can start by limiting it to just sleep times. Distract and comfort during the night. No ideas on night weaning. I tried different comforters, sitting with them, but they just didn't sleep or slept badly until they chose to give it up.
I'm also not quite sure why parents on here make such a big deal about braces. They aren't that bad.

Both mine had a dummy until they were 4 - the eve of their 4th birthday we posted them to the dummy fairy.

They both had sticking-out teeth which rectified within about 8 wks of removing the dummy. No speech issues although I did have a 'rule' that if they wanted to speak they had to take the dummy out.

Both of mine were screamers as babies, immediately soothed by the dummy. They were bad sleepers too, and I was too wrung out to be waking 8 times a night with removing the dummy (which i did try on a few occasions).

Plus, and this is a big one, it's easier to remove a dummy when the time comes than to have a child who sucks their thumb for however many years, damaging teeth alignment for far more years.

A) most of the teeth stuff is genetic. DD has an underbite and DS doesn't because sibling genetics aren't exactly the same. Same with your siblings and you.
B) Dummy is much less destructive then fingers or teeth, so I wouldn't worry about it. Use the thinnest dummy your DC will accept, but don't worry too much about it.
C) everything in parenting will have someone needing to give their counter opinion. You can't listen to them all