To make impulsive decisions all the time and then make myself 'get on with it'?

[mariethecatt]

I've always thought myself to be quite a cautious, anxious person. Yet when it comes to making decisions it seems that I don't know how to carefully weigh up options and I hate that inbetween stage of making a decision. I prefer to rush through and make a choice and then make myself get on with it.

An example is with university. I chose my course on a whim and then made myself get on with it; it worked out and I loved it. Same with jobs, I will just apply to several and take whatever I get offered first. I did the same when getting my dog. I decided I wanted one, so I got one. Didn't think it through, knew it would be hard but just got on with it and it paid off and I'm really happy with my decision (I had had a dog before so wasn't going into it blind). I decided a few weeks ago I wanted a car; I literally went out the next weekend and got one (on finance, so it's not because I'm rich/privileged). Looking at different options and researching it is boring to me; I just picked the exact car and colour I wanted and found one. I was at the hairdressers the other day for just a trim, then when she showed me my 'before' pictures for her social media I decided I didn't like it, so I asked her to take loads off. A completely on the spot decision.

Is anyone else like this? It sounds really impulsive and irresponsible, which if you knew me is the opposite to how I come across. I'm sensible and usually quite conscientious and neurotic. I wonder if it's because I get sick of worrying about things so much that I get kind of a rush from making impulsive decisions?

I can be a bit like this , my dh asked his dad one day if we could borrow his car , he huffed about it so I rang my sister asked if she would come car shopping with me and bought one the next day , just left a note for my dh ‘ gone to buy a car ‘ . I saw a picture the other day of some garden design that I thought would work in our garden , dh said it was a summer project but I didn’t see the point in waiting so I was digging within an hour . So I understand what you mean , but I would never do anything dangerously impulsive sometimes I think well why would I be waiting to do that , I have made my mind up so might as well crack on!

I would love to be like this! I’m an over researcher/planner/worrier/control freak! Your way of bringing sounds really freeing.
eg I want to do something in the garden, I’ll research it to death and never get round to doing it. DH is the same and I swear he has made me worse.

Yes, I am - sometimes it pays off but more than half the time it costs me money and ends in arguments. I am quite self centred when it comes to this so I don't often think of the implications of my decisions on others until the decision is made/done. As soon as an idea enters my head I get excited about it and just crack on with no thought.

Yes, I am very similar. You sound capable and able to deal with the outcomes of your decisions so why not.

Well, it sounds a lot better than me. I also hate researching and all that but am also highly indecisive - so I end up making no decisions and carry on being unhappy with what I’ve got.

I’d much rather be like you! You make change happen!

It doesn’t sound like a bad thing, by the examples you’ve given anyway. It sounds like it’s worked out ok each time for you. I have paralysis with big decisions and it’s awful.

Sounds like you're using your intuition, rather than sensing, when you make a big decision. That's just your cognitive type. Try taking an MBTI test.

There's no right or wrong way to be, our brains are just trained to generally work a certain way. People who are intuitive generally make decisions more quickly, but that's not to say they are reckless. Your brain is just more efficient at weighing up decisions based on previous experiences and outcomes, and you just know what you want.

If you do take an mbti test it would be interesting to see the results op!

I’m exactly the same, when it’s something you want and or need and it’s clear, why should it take a long time to decide?

There is nothing wrong with making safe decisions quickly if you're happy with it, but when you write this: I wonder if it's because I get sick of worrying about things so much that I get kind of a rush from making impulsive decisions? it doesn't sound that great. Might be better to address the underlying stuff driving the worrying.

Edited to add: I hate that inbetween stage of making a decision. this also stood out. What happens if you defer a decision, how stressed do you get?

I can't stand 'doing research' it irritates and bores me to tears.
I have a friend that does her research before she aquires anything. She would spend hours pouring over the 'best' baby toys including reading hundreds of reviews and checking the safety standards meticulously before buying anything.
Buying a car or going on holiday means months of looking into every available option, she would be mortified if she could have got it £10 cheaper and she missed it!
I suppose their are pros and cons to both ways of doing things, I most probably am not on the very best mortgage deal or the best mobile phone contract but then I think the few extra quid I spend a month has saved me hours of my life 'researching' so it's worth it!

I work as a researcher and so know exactly how much time/money I’m not saving by being so indecisive!
if I applied my hour consultancy rate to it I’d be horrified…
still can’t help myself!

I once started ripping my kitchen apart on a Saturday afternoon. I couldn't bear looking at the times for even one minute longer.
I'm glad I did it. I rebuilt the kitchen which I now love.
OP, I'm definitely a bit like you, but I've realised I actually put a lot of thinking time in before I leap, but a lot of it is by imagining how I would do things/ problem solving/ how things would look. That's my 'research' phase, and I've learned to trust it

Thanks everyone, such interesting replies! It's weird because I do like the find the safest/cheapest/best version of something too, but I speed through all of that as I find it boring to research things. I just picked up my new (used) car today, I knew what brand, ignition, fuel, engine size, model and colour I wanted so it was a case of finding one that matched all of that for sale and walking in and buying it. I think the salesman was quite surprised he couldn't talk me into at least looking at other options lol. I guess like maybe @Pinkissmart said, the thinking and decision is more under the surface.

My best friend is the complete opposite, she takes forever to make decisions. Even choosing her sandwich for a meal deal takes a good bit of deliberating hehe.

That's so interesting! When I did a MBTI test a few years ago I was an INFJ. I just did a test again and got ISFP, not really sure what it all means but will do some reading :)

That's interesting! You can sometimes get variable results if you're borderline between two types, and some online tests are not very accurate, no one is 100% introverted for eg. 16 Personalities is my favourite test site as it gives you a more in-depth result, and their test is more thorough and likely to be more accurate. I wouldn't be surprised if you are an INFJ, that particular cognitive type can seem quite contradictory which would explain why you feel conflicted and confused by your impulses. Whatever type you are, it can be useful to know as it will help you to understand the basic processes of how your brain prefers to work, and what you're likely to do when under stress for example. It's not your personality in a strict sense (that's far more complicated) and there's no 'bad' result, so it can be a bit of fun.