Toddler broke item in garden centre

[Summerhen]

Took my two children DD (6) and DS (2) to the garden centre this morning to get a little bit of cake and some veggie plants for them to put in the garden.
We had our cake where they both sat nicely and then left the cafe to go and let them choose which plants they wanted. As I opened the cafe door both of them went out before me and due to the door being a bit heavy it took me a couple of seconds to manoeuvre the pram out and through the door by myself. As I looked up from the pram I spotted my little boy had picked up an ceramic ornament from a display on the floor so was quickly like ‘oh put that down DS’ whilst I rushed over, so was obviously my fault for asking him to put it down but I didn’t think and he put it down a bit to fast to which it cracked and broke into two pieces. I immediately headed over to the till to pay for it but I was met with a lady who just made me feel so bad for it. She told me that I should have been keeping an eye on him and that it was no surprise that it broke when they are so fragile. I’m probably way to sensitive to this kind of thing and need to grow a thicker skin but I’m always so careful with keeping him close to me to prevent anything like this, always telling him not to touch etc - this is the first time either of my children have ever broke anything in a shop and it just surprised me how annoyed she actually was about it. We live in a semi-rural area with not loads around, the garden centre is our closest cafe so just feeling like if I go in their again they’ll think bad of me now 🫣

Oooo that sounds incredibly satisfying! I have always wanted to try out one of those places where you pay to smash things up. Are they in America only? 😂 That judgemental woman should definately sign up for it! I think it would work wonders.

Why did you pay? If my DC can break something insanely expensive in Harrods, and not be asked to pay, why the hell is this woman saying such stupid shit, and making you feel bad when you’re paying? She is an actual moo moo cow.

She told me that I should have been keeping an eye on him and that it was no surprise that it broke when they are so fragile.

Don't include them in a fucking floor display then. So stupid.

Don't beat yourself up OP. It's life. Everyone was a toddler once and guess what? Adults break things all the time. Who cares. If you hadn't gone to pay that would be a problem, but as it stands, zero problem.

Surely no one would actually do that😂

I have learnt that some people are just plain mean and grumpy.

Yep. Then I think maybe their husband asked for a divorce that morning lol.

It's not you OP, it's them.

Seriously OP you’re overthinking by writing a post about it. I’m sure the garden centre police will not be after you. Accidents happen! Chill.

I think the op is more about the grumpy woman?

Sadly not every parent would respond in the way you did. We can all think of the entitled parent whose child could do no wrong and is allowed to run about with no effort to stop anything. Or who would argue about paying.

I would guess the member of staff has had too many of those kind of parents to deal with, or people who treat retail staff like dirt.

Perhaps if such people did not behave like that, the unacceptable response might not have happened.

Yes the silly women at the till is not even worth getting upset about!

Exactly, she definately isn't. People can make others feel so shit sometimes, they take pleasure in just spreading their misery around. Shame on her op, I think this was a good lesson for your dcs on how not to act; it is okay to make mistakes. This is a grown up that has clearly not learnt this lesson!

Things will get broken in public spaces.
You wouldn't take a toddler into a China shop but you didn't. You took them to a garden centre which has a whole random selection of stuff all over the place, not much of it to do with gardening.
If they are that bothered, they could arrange breakable items out of the reach of toddlers
I expect lots of people would refuse to pay so you are operating on a higher level than most.
Hold your head up high

Accidents happen all the time.

People have very little patience with toddlers. I don't know what it is being a woman accompanied by a toddler, I think everyone is annoyed with you when they see you coming as they assume the toddler will destroy something 😂

they're little terrorists, well done even getting out of the house lol

Don't give it a second thought.
You did the right thing.
As mums we can only do our best, and toddlers are so quick!

It happened to me when one of mine were toddlers. I was lucky that the staff were really understanding and refused to accept my payment for it.

Try not to let it put you off going again.
It will all be forgotten by the time someone else's toddler has done the same.

Well an elderly relative crashed into a brand new window/glass type thing on his new mobility scooter. By some great miracle he, and nobody else was injured! He had no remorse, and basically said the screen shouldn't have been there, it was a stupid place for it! 😳I would apply this same logic to the ornaments!

This.

Don’t give it another moments thought OP.

As above.

Should any comment be made when you return, you should probably point out that they should fix their doors so they're not so heavy that people with prams and presumably mobility aids don't have such difficulty using them, as that was the cause of the incident in the first place.

Surely they have leeway on breakages.

You were watching him which is why you told him to place it back down but you've only got two hands and were struggling with their heavy door. I'd leave a some friendly feedback commenting on the place not being very accessible!

Yes, this place sounds chaotic. It is not pushchair, or wheelchair friendly whatsoever. Definately some constructive feedback warranted.

Agree with others - totally unnecessary reaction from the woman. Accidents happen. Just ask my 43 year old DH who managed to knock a glass vase off a table last weekend . . . fool. Strangely enough, he wasn't met with any judgement or reprimanded in any way for his clumsiness. Funny how it seems to be easier to target women and kids for these kind of things, isn't it?

It's awful when you've got young kids and you feel as though the eyes of the world are on you waiting for you to miss a step and fuck up - been there and got that t-shirt. It's difficult, but try and put it behind you.

It was an accident, you paid for it, I really don't see the problem. Although I would have asked her,if the item in question is so delicate and fragile, why the hell is it on the floor! They should have put it up on a shelf.

That was really mean and unnecessary of her. You could actually consider making a complaint about her attitude towards you. I also have a 2 and (nearly 6) year old. It isn’t easy and you sound like a lovely person

Just reading through all your comments. Feel like I can return without holding my head in shame now! Really grateful for anyone who’s taken a moment to respond, you have definitely given me confidence back and made me feel so much be better about the situation 🥰 thank you mumsnet!

There are just some people who like to make parents feel bad. You paid for the breakage, it's a manufactured item so hardly a museum piece, that's the end of it. Go back to the cafe whenever you want and don't feel bad. It's her issue.
We were in a museum shop - very hands on, interactive, kid-friendly museum - and my son (not a toddler but not a teen) picked up one of the bouncy balls and bounced it. We were surrounded by soft toys, pencils, absolutely nothing breakable but as I was telling him not to do it again one of the shop staff almost shrieked: "No, no! He can't play with the balls! That's not allowed!" It was a total overreaction and anyway she was shouting over his own parent telling him not to. If I'd been letting my child run amok she would have been quite right to say something but this reaction was NUTS.

You offered to pay for the item. The woman should have either refused payment as a gesture of goodwill or accepted graciously. She was in the wrong.