To think that work ethic is largely inherited?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I see such a wide range of attitudes towards work, even among people raised in the same environment. Some kids seem to naturally take after their hardworking parents, while others seem totally indifferent to ambition or effort. AIBU to think that work ethic is something you’re either born with or not?

I suppose it's a bit like the nature/nurture debate. Some people will automatically strive to work hard and others think that the world owes them a living. Most are somewhere in the middle, I suppose.

Not sure. I have worked full time all my life. My sister has never worked. Same parents, same upbringing. 🤷‍♀️

There is an element of natural laziness in some people, but I generally think work ethic is learnt. Partly from your parents, partly from your peers (I'm thinking friendship circle at school, then people you associate with later in life).

I don't think you are born with it no. I do think parents are role models though. If they see you working hard, they are more likely to. If you sit on your arse all day, they probably will too. Having said that I do know some people who are determined not to be like their parents and have done well.

Like most things, it’s a mix of nature and nurture.

My mother is very much ‘all mothers should be at home with the kids and dads go to work’ and never went back after having us. She actively encouraged my sister to not work but claim benefits for as long as possible (till Tax Credits made her find work). She was utterly horrified however when I continued to work inbetween kids and assumed once I’d had my third (and final) that would I couldn’t possibly manage a job too! So myself and sister had same upbringing but very different attitudes to work.

I work hard because I don’t want to live like my parents did.

I’m one of five and two of us work and studied to get into our chosen careers. One is in and out of work and two have never worked.

I think if you grow up in a family where your parents found their work stimulating and/or enjoyable and/or fulfilling, then you probably expect that you will find a job that does the same for you. I guess what's tricky is if you can't find a job like that - you might never settle for an 'ok, pays the bills' sort of job.

I don't think it's inherited as such, in that lazy parents can have hard-working children and vice-versa. It's more of an upbringing thing, I guess hard-working parents are more likely to raise their children to be similar. On the flipside, perhaps the parents worked so hard the child had everything handed to them, and they never develop the habit.

Regardless of whether my own work ethic was inherited or not, it was definitely experience that is beating it out of me.

I think it's ingrained...my gf had his own business, me and all 3 of my cousins have our own businesses, and all work hard at them. My dc see me grafting, and the results, so I'm sure they'll be similar (already show a good work ethic at school)

It's a case of lead by example, surely

I don't think it has much to do with parents. Mostly, if you're paid well, have good working conditions and your work is valued, you'll be motivated to work hard. If any of those aspects are missing/reduced, you'll be less motivated.

My mum is a bit workshy tbh. She was divorced and my dad was a useless alchoholic. Raised on a council estate with lots of drug use.

I’m employed and really normal comparatively, own a home, have a degree. Plugging away at life. I do think there is a nurture element in there but you can forge your own path.

My mother has never worked and always claimed benefits.
ive always worked since the age of 16.
i did not want the same life that she had chosen

No. If you see your parents working hard, you probably will too. I think its learned behaviour, not inherited.

I think you mean innate rather than inherited

My parents were extremely hardworking in absolutely shitty jobs. I worked from being 16 till I retired. I only had six months away from work when my child was born. Yes I earned a living but I consider the effort I put into working largely a waste of my life. Maybe because I am old now and realise the futility of it all. My son studied hard at school and Uni and never put a foot wrong. Then his father died suddenly quite young and it changed my son. His father always worked hard and looked forward to receiving his pension, which he obviously never got. My son works but on his own terms. He won’t stay in shitty jobs and won’t put up with the shit at work that me and his father did. He also has creative ‘side hustles’ working for himself that have proved successful. If he wants time away from work for whatever reason he takes it. I would never have had the guts to do what he’s done. It was always expected of me to conform to my parents expectations of ‘hard work’.

But also, you presumably had a family to support, @Berryslacks .

When I was a much younger woman, I lived with my now ex and my baby in a flat on a large housing estate. I met a great many people, both male and female, who had not only never had a job but also fully intended to never have a job.

Yup this. My mother didn't work, my dad was a farmer then died. Half my siblings are on benefits, the other half work hard. I was determined to work hard until I realised that hard work doesn't necessarily equal fulfilling, financially secure job. Couple that with the state of pensions and the world in general, I'm determined to make the most of my healthy life whilst I'm still young instead of hoping for a cruise upon retirement.

I save up like crazy and take time off work every few years to go travel, volunteer, study and really enjoy life. It was a risk when I was younger and homelessness beckoned upon my return but I always figured it out. I know I am lucky that I had family who could put me up for a month or two, and now I have my own home. Not looking forward going back to the grind now but I wouldn't change my experiences for anything.

I think YABU.
I would say most people learn from what they see modelled around them.

More nurture than nature for me, on this one.

I probably should add that I've never earned more than £24,000k before everyone assumes I'm minted. The studying was EU funded (sob brexit 😭). Never had a inheritance or cash gifted to me. I'm just a very cheap date, save most of my salary after bills paid and I don't live in expensive England.

I did @Sulu17 but also it was considered unthinkable when I was young to consider any sort of alternative way of living other than the day to day grind of work. I longed to go to Art College but it was just not the ‘done thing’ in my family. You were expected to leave school and get a job immediately. I am not condoning a life on benefits instead by the way. Just maybe some sort of middle ground between working all the hours God sends till you drop and a good quality of life. I think things are actually getting worse for a lot of people in that respect. Many struggling on minimum wage and zero hours with unreasonable employers.

I think it's varied and complicated.

Nature/nurture, plus life experiences/events.

My mum worked full time in a manual job, while also looking after me and also doing several illegal and time consuming income streams alongside. She also worked full time while doing a degree and since qualifying has never worked less than 60 hours a week, often 80+. The woman even demanded IT set her up a remote server, so she could work from hospital. She works with sepsis; with pneumonia; with parts of her falling off (literally...); with heinous infections. She works when her medical team beg her to stop. She tried to go directly to into work in leaving the hospital after 2 heart attacks in a day, but they sent her home... She's like an odd, organic machine.

My brother always does at least a 60 hour week and a side hustle. My grandparents worked until about 80. I think they're all fucking mad and work as little as possible, while maintaining a standard of life I find broadly acceptable... I work NMW full time and have no desire to do more or get promoted. I looked for an excellent leave package above all else . So clearly very different work ethics in my family! I suspect mine is in direct retaliation to my mother's though. I'll be interested to see what my own kids choose in a few years.