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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask you to be kind to pub staff and owners?

29 replies

WillimNot · 14/04/2025 11:12

Hello all
I run a pub, it's not very glamorous at all. I pretty much do 18 hour days. Currently it's just my DH and I so we are covering every role
We make barely a penny as a pub is like a huge cash machine for others.

We pay council tax, luckily not business rates yet as our value is tiny (was a failing pub and we are still working on that), private bin collection (£120 a month), our utilities are over £1k a month(!) we have to have a license just to play background music (£250 a month). Our rent and bills to the brewery who own the building we are tenants to is £3k then there is costs of having drinks in (anywhere between £800-£2600 a week depending on a good or bad week). There's VAt as well to HMRC and that's a nightmare for a different thread to deal with when things go wrong.

It's never ending!

Sadly, recently, maybe because the sun is out and we have had new customers try us out, the rude, obnoxious and entitled have arrived.

I have experienced crap service of course and this should always be flagged to an appropriate person

Last night for instance and probably why I am writing this we had agreed to host someone for a drinks gathering for a last minute birthday as the host works at a small business on site and was stressed. The people who came in were so obnoxious I cried when they left.

One of them before even speaking to me was on his phone loudly berating my pub as not their cup of tea, it's a "shit hole" and he was pissed off to be here. He wanted to be in the next town over.

Our pub is very far from a shit hole, it's recently refurbished all by my DH, we have so many comments on the decor that it's not your usual pub because they all look the same by brewery (very true! I think companies get mass order discounts). It was spotless (as always) and we even provided balloons and plates and stuff for them at no charge.
It was obvious they were looking for an excuse to leave so when the same guy approached the bar and declined the drinks and then said I wasn't a great barmaid because I pointed out they had been poured now so there was no reason for a refund and he said to put them back in their bottles as glass isn't porous and I should know that!?! He was so rude then the female of the group joined in saying she advised me to watch my back so we asked them to leave.
We have now had a vile and utterly fabricated review that our pub is dirty and we are rude! Google and Facebook sadly decline to remove reviews like this and just say to answer them but they are hugely damaging. So not only do we deal with behaviour of that type we then have them use reviews to continue the behaviour.

The host who works at the small business didn't come back and wasn't there but I will be speaking to her today (and may mention it to her boss) but I just ask that with summer approaching and when pub operators point out that it's such a risky time for us all, please be kind!

OP posts:
WillimNot · 14/04/2025 18:22

Coconutter24 · 14/04/2025 16:03

The host who works at the small business didn't come back and wasn't there but I will be speaking to her today (and may mention it to her boss)

Why would you mention it to her boss?

Purely because she used her position to get a party which led to a shit review. The reason we let them use the space is to increase business to our pub, not to invite bad reviews via their staff.
I didn't end up mentioning to him but one of the other nicer staff heard about it as she asked about the review, she told him and he is incredibly cross. It turns out she told him she couldn't work yesterday as she was unwell. Opps

OP posts:
WillimNot · 14/04/2025 18:26

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/04/2025 16:22

I don't think their behaviour has got anything to do with you or your pub. I bet they all wanted to go to their usual place but someone in the party booked yours instead. That doesn't make it ok of course, but really take yourself out of this particular equation.

Yes I felt when I heard him being rude on the phone about wanting to go elsewhere that he had engineered the situation to have an excuse.

Luckily my lovely regulars have all been writing reviews today, many have been customers for years and were concerned at the last few years before us as it looked like the pub, which was in a terrible state and had been taken over by some pretty horrid custom, was going to end up as flats. We were the only people who offered to take it on, it's a beautiful building, it's from the 1770s, it would have been criminal to get rid of it. So they love us, they love what we are doing and they were very cross about the obnoxious people and the bad review.

It's things like that that work wonders!

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 14/04/2025 19:28

WillimNot · 14/04/2025 18:22

Purely because she used her position to get a party which led to a shit review. The reason we let them use the space is to increase business to our pub, not to invite bad reviews via their staff.
I didn't end up mentioning to him but one of the other nicer staff heard about it as she asked about the review, she told him and he is incredibly cross. It turns out she told him she couldn't work yesterday as she was unwell. Opps

Purely because she used her position to get a party which led to a shit review.

This isn’t a good enough reason to go to her boss. Although the lying about being unwell and getting caught is just karma

TammyJones · 14/04/2025 19:46

GreyCarpet · 14/04/2025 13:12

OP, if it helps... I often look at the reviews before going somewhere new but, if the reviews are overwhelmingly positive, I tend to regard a bad review as having been written by an arsehole or just someone who doesn't understand that the world doesn't revolve around them.

And a polite and factual even witty response from the owners will pretty much guarantee I visit.

Edited

Totally agree with this this.
Done my share of waitressing and so glad we didn’t have internet reviewes back then.
it is so open to abuse like you’ve encountered
However, by the sounds of it, decent people will be able to read between the lines.

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