To ask how you’d navigate this?

[happywalk]

I just want to know how others would go about in this situation..

My baby is 5 months old. We have a relative who showed a lot of interest when they were newborn and less since. We meet them every few weeks somewhere in between the two of us, usually for a walk as baby is most content in the pram. I also try to send pictures and ask said relative how they are, call etc but effort often feels one way and they seem very busy with their own lifestyle which of course is fine, but makes the rest of this a bit odd I feel…

On the last walk they complained they hadn’t had an opportunity to hold baby and said ‘I definitely will be next time’. It felt a bit weird to me as none of us had got baby out, plus at a certain stage aren’t babies past the age of passing them around just for fun and it’s easier/more fun for the baby to actually sit facing them and try and make them smile or show them some toys? We are meeting again soon and they’ve said something about carrying the baby round on the walk. I’m not really keen for this as it’s not something DH or I would do unless they were crying or unsettled or we had gone to a farm or something and actually wanted to show them something. Baby will most likely be asleep anyway, it’s really difficult to get them to nap in the day after 4 months so I am reluctant to wake them.

How would you respond? It feels so awkward.

My baby is the same age and that is definitely something I would not allow. I use a carrier at times but I am careful where I walk to avoid tripping and I am aware of baby’s position, I wouldn’t allow anyone (other than his dad) to use it!

i would respond something along the lines of “that is their nap time and having them carried will interfere too much but if you want to come around another day to the house for a play and a cuddle during a time they are awake that would work x

Suggest they drop by your house for a coffee at a time when your baby is likely to be awake and holdable?

Your relative hasn't even held your new baby? .. Baby not so new now! Bit mean imo.

Yes, a bit mean if relative has never had a cuddle by now. Babies can be loved by lots of people They can learn about different sounds, smells and feels of different bodies.

I used to read or recite to my friends babies from a very early age no matter what time of day I was there.

I never felt I owned my baby, if somome wanted to hold them or take them for a walk and didn't wake them or keep them awake why would I be worried? Worried about whqt? i am not the first person to hold a baby nor the last, a baby soon let's psople know if they are un happy

Unless baby is sleeping/going to sleep holding the baby while letting them see the world from up high is lovely as well as interacting with them as you go along.
Obviously you have to be able to trust the person holding them and it has to be practical as you can't walk, hold and push the buggy at the same time if by yourself.
Maybe a stop halfway round for a hold on a bench or something would be nice?
It's your baby though so don't feel pushed into something you don't feel comfortable doing.

You both sound a bit weird to be honest. It's odd to want to carry a baby on a walk, apart form anything else the carriers arms will get tired very quickly.

But it's also odd to be confused as to why someone wants to hold your baby. Some people find it very therapeutic cuddling babies. Can't you meet at your house where she can have cuddles on the sofa or even in a cafe where she could cuddle the baby?

You sound very stuck in your routine and worried about upsetting the equilibrium, which is understandable with a young a baby, but it's good to mix things up sometimes, try something new, they're not going to be happy in their pram and do daytime naps forever.

I think I'd get a bit bored of walking round and round and staring at a baby in a pram to be honest.

This is why they're probably losing a bit of interest.

I'm not sure why you've likened it to 'passing them round for a bit of fun'.

She just wants to get to know the child, rather than accompany you on your walks.

If that's not what you want, you have every right to say so but then there's no point in complaining about their interest waning.

I hope in years to come you aren't here slating the relative for not knowing /bothering with your dc.... They won't really know a head in a blanket will they?

They have held baby loads from newborn to around three months, just not for the last 3 meet ups

Can you not find a different time which is not nap time to meet with this relative? Family want to meet and get to know new babies, see them smile and laugh, interact with them, point at and name things etc rather than just see a sleeping face in a pram. If you’re always choosing to meet up at a time when your baby is likely to be asleep then both sides are going to miss out on socialisation / familiarisation. This is the point at which babies actually become interested in and responsive to their surroundings.

Is the relative a grandparent? Can you not visit them or have them visit you so they can hold and play with baby? Seems odd to see them when baby is in the pram sleeping!