What would you do?

[Icanflyhigh]

Right...

I'm in a quandary.

This woman I know (and I don't like her at all) is overstepping the mark and taking advantage of a chap who is 20 years her senior.

She is married, her husband works away for months on end.

The chap, he's besotted with her - god knows why as she's a train wreck - he's also a fairly recent widower.

He knows she's married, he knows that when her husband is home she won't look at him twice.

How do I stop the chap making a fool of himself.

I know all of them well, and the temptation to message the husband is strong.
As I said, I don't like this woman at all - she's a know it all, "my life is better than yours" and I genuinely think both her and this chap can do better.

Just for context, I'm happily married, not interested in either guy, just don't like her playing them at all.

What would you do?

If I knew widower well, I would maybe try and gently dissuade him. She is married, after all.

I wouldn't message the husband.

Thank you. I do know the widower well, and lots of us have tried to dissuade him, to no avail.
We can all see the ££ signs in this woman's eyes but he is blind to it.

You mind your own business. They are both grown ups, he knows she is married and it's not your responsibility to keep him from anything.

How exactly do you think she'll get his money?

Thank you.

I think I knew that and was expecting to hear/read it.

I know you're right too, I just can't bare to see people being used/hurt.

If you’ve already told him, leave it.

He's vulnerable and he's generous.
She's a predator and manipulative.

Unless he's vulnerable due to onset of dementia or such. Then he's probably not all that daft and maybe hoping for a bit of sex from her?

Also - if he's got capacity then mind your business.

Don't start meddling with the husband - again mind your business.

Does the widower have children?

Yes there are three, two daughters and a son.

Widower is NC with son and LC with eldest daughter but sees other daughter daily.

Thank you.
No dementia etc.

And I know you're right.

He does have capacity, and I know its not my place to meddle.

If he has children, tell them. Then back off.

Yes I agree.

he may have dementia the early signs are hard to pick up

Do you even know his age to suggest that? He might be in his 50s, and she's in her 30s 🙄

How old actually is he OP?

If you can think of a polite alternative to “don’t shit on your own doorstep “ then have a go. Or just say that.

I would but I’m inclined to being a bit bolshy.

I assume his daughter is one of the people who have warned him about the woman. If not maybe talk to her. As he has capacity to weigh things up I also assume his vulnerability is being blinded by his ego and he thinks his attractiveness is the only possible reason the woman is interested in him.

It’s going to be a train wreck to watch and I sympathise but there’s nothing more you can do other than be on hand with tea and tissues when he finally catches on.

He's 71 and she is just 50.

No early signs of dementia, his late wife succumbed to dementia and he's OK in that respect.
He fit and healthy with full capacity.
I suspect he's lonely and this woman has shown an interest.
I daresay there is an element of sex in there too.