To ask if you’ve ever had a friendship breakup or fallout you thought you couldn’t come back from but somehow did?

MerryPinkCritic · 2025-04-13T21:27:30+00:00

What happened and what changed? Did one of you reach out? Did time just soften things? I’ve just had a friendship end and it feels so final. It would be nice to hear stories where it wasn’t the end after all.

Landlubber2019 · 13/04/2025 22:45

Yes, friendship ended aa they considered I was too selfish and focused to be a parent. Friendship repaired when I became a parent years later. Friendship re established but it's changed and I can't really forget that intrinsically they didn't speak to me for years.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 13/04/2025 22:49

5 months ago the one person I trusted above all others was so unkind to me and humiliated me in the worst way she could.
This week we have made some tentative steps.

Dogaredabomb · 13/04/2025 23:02

A male friend of mine we had been friends for about a decade and then had a serious relationship for a year. We didn't speak for a year after that. But then we started sending birthday and Christmas cards again and went back to being good friends. We still are 25 years later! Neither of us were unkind or gosspied or anything when we weren't speaking though.

If there have been nasty things said i think that would be very difficult to come back from.

Dogaredabomb · 13/04/2025 23:03

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 13/04/2025 22:49

5 months ago the one person I trusted above all others was so unkind to me and humiliated me in the worst way she could.
This week we have made some tentative steps.

I wouldn't trust her again, I think doing that to you is too much.

itsybitsyteenytot · 14/04/2025 18:22

I have felt the loss heavily of a very close friend for the last two years. She behaved so badly towards me for several months before we finally had a big argument, a lot was said on both sides and we haven't spoken since. I still miss the person she was so very much and wish I could have that friend back, but not the person she was before the argument. We still live close and have friends in common, I often wonder what would happen if she got back in touch. I would definitely be open to rebuilding a friendship, but she would need to apologise before that could ever happen, which I don't think she would ever do sadly.

Sockmate123 · 14/04/2025 22:22

Yes I had a best friendship end for 13 years over something stupid. She had a baby who was ill and needed surgery. I reached out and we rekindled the friendship then. I would consider her my closest friend now.

Flytrap01 · 15/04/2025 00:31

i thought i was building a friendship that would last years, i asked permission to text, watsapp etc i followed the rule book so to speak trying to build the friendship properly and make sure we fixed our disagreement's as we went along etc

and yet i got blindsided and shafted. the option is always open for her to reach out should she choose but until then ive been shutdown on the friendship

Hurtand · 15/04/2025 09:40

NC for this. Yes, I’m going through it now. Best friends for decades, we’ve been through so much together and she’s leaned on me emotionally throughout some very tough times. I saw her as family.

A few months ago she put our families in a situation that was extremely upsetting and stressful but we all did everything we could to support her through it. It took another month for me to realise that she didn’t care how anyone else felt, she never asked, and when I tried to open up she sent the longest text blaming everyone and everything for not supporting her. I just couldn’t reply, I was heartbroken.

The thing is, before this event she had seemed to take such a dislike to me. Had been doing strange things to me that I’d never have imagined she could do, like there was an underlying animosity towards me. I was so confused but the distance has given me lots of time to think and although she’s called me for help a couple of times, she isn’t in the slightest bit interested in how I’ve been affected.

I’m Heartbroken in a way I never thought I could be, blindsided and I think about it all the time. I don’t know what we can do to move forward but she’s not the type to take any blame at all.

Dogaredabomb · 15/04/2025 09:44

Hurtand · 15/04/2025 09:40

NC for this. Yes, I’m going through it now. Best friends for decades, we’ve been through so much together and she’s leaned on me emotionally throughout some very tough times. I saw her as family.

A few months ago she put our families in a situation that was extremely upsetting and stressful but we all did everything we could to support her through it. It took another month for me to realise that she didn’t care how anyone else felt, she never asked, and when I tried to open up she sent the longest text blaming everyone and everything for not supporting her. I just couldn’t reply, I was heartbroken.

The thing is, before this event she had seemed to take such a dislike to me. Had been doing strange things to me that I’d never have imagined she could do, like there was an underlying animosity towards me. I was so confused but the distance has given me lots of time to think and although she’s called me for help a couple of times, she isn’t in the slightest bit interested in how I’ve been affected.

I’m Heartbroken in a way I never thought I could be, blindsided and I think about it all the time. I don’t know what we can do to move forward but she’s not the type to take any blame at all.

I think she isn't who you thought she was. Think carefully over the years were there tiny things you shrugged off?

Hurtand · 15/04/2025 09:46

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 13/04/2025 22:49

5 months ago the one person I trusted above all others was so unkind to me and humiliated me in the worst way she could.
This week we have made some tentative steps.

That said, I’m not sure these threads are helpful. Already you have a poster telling you not to take these tentative steps without knowing how she humiliated you or was “unkind”.

My friend may be saying things like this about me, but how did I “humiliate and be unkind”? I didn’t reply to a text slagging off everyone and everything (including kids) saying how she’s a victim, she’s been hurt and devastated, nobody’s even asked how she feels today etc etc. The truth is, she’s never asked how any of us felt, her family or mine, and the upset was completely due to her own selfish actions.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 15/04/2025 09:49

Yup. Friend ghosted me (not entirely without reason, but still). It stayed at xmas /birthday fb messages for months. Then something bad happened and she reached out to me. I engaged. We’re back to talking daily but I’m not particularly interested or invested anymore so the relationship changed.

Hurtand · 15/04/2025 09:50

Dogaredabomb · 15/04/2025 09:44

I think she isn't who you thought she was. Think carefully over the years were there tiny things you shrugged off?

Show quote history

Yes lots of times that I stuck up for her, allowed her to treat me in ways that were less than nice. And other times we were so so close. Mostly. Our kids and families were in each others pockets so it’s hard.

Other people have distanced themselves from her over the years but I’ve supported her completely. The last few months I’m a recluse compared to my former self, except for work and things with the kids. I know other friends want to talk to me about it but so far I can’t bring myself to. I won’t slag her off but she’s really hurt me.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 15/04/2025 09:51

It depends on how close you were.
Most things are repairable if both take responsibilities for the dispute.

Oioisavaloy27 · 15/04/2025 09:55

Life is way to short if you want to make up then reach out otherwise just leave it.

Veggielepsy · 15/04/2025 10:05

She was a dick on holiday. I wasn't perfect, but essentially I think she enjoyed being on her turf (we went back to her country after living in mine for years) and having an advantage over me, awkward at times, embarrassing at others, just rude at others. I'm not going into details but at the time it was upsetting.

She then expecting me to do some work for her when we got back.

Anyway, I got back in touch during covid to check she was ok. She's a good person at heart, I just won't be going on holiday with her again. We've stayed in touch. No big drama.

ruethewhirl · 15/04/2025 10:07

A friend and I didn't speak for four years(!) at one point and we're fine again now. Without being too outing (I don't think she's on MN, but just in case), in hindsight we were both in a bad place with various life/mental health stresses on both sides, although at the time for some reason she hadn't felt able to disclose what she was going through so it felt very out of the blue from my perspective. The 'breakup' came from her side although we stayed friends on FB and made the odd comment on each other's pics etc, she didn't seem to want to talk beyond this though, so I left it. I didn't want to write the friendship off altogether as she had been a good friend in the past, so I didn't unfriend her but just left things alone, it was painful but I didn't really have any choice.

Four years later she contacted me on Messenger to wish me a happy birthday and apologised for how she'd been, I did the same as I'd not been a great friend either, and we were able to patch things up from there.

ReggaetonLente · 15/04/2025 10:11

One friend got very angry with my when I had my first baby and couldn’t attend the overnight part of her hen do. She made a huge deal of how I wasn’t prioritising her wedding. We lived together for years and knew each others families well, it was horrible to fall out like that.

She now has her own baby and has apologised!! We will never be as we once were but we’re back to regularly seeing each other.

Sillysoggysheep · 15/04/2025 10:12

I've had a lot of time to think about this recently as I've been ill and stuck at home alone. I moved here two years ago as a recent widow and after a few months made a 'friend'. We went on coach trips together, had a short city break abroad and I drove us to NT days out, shopping trips, garden centres etc. We messaged constantly about TV programmes, planning next trips etc and met up regularly for lunch, dinners and cinema visits.

Recently I had vision issues and had to stop driving. The minute I told her, she dropped me like a hot potato. It has become clear that she was just using me to ferry her about and now has no further use for me. She even ignored me when I saw her in our local supermarket recently.

I have had eye surgery and I'm hoping to drive again soon. She certainly won't be getting any lifts from me and fortunately I have since made several other friends, a couple of which have been very supportive during my recent ill health. It's true what they say about 'Fair weather friends'. At least I now see her for what she is although I feel a bit stupid for running round doing things for her previously.

MaeDuptag · 15/04/2025 10:37

A very long friendship seems to be ending for me too and yes I’m sad - but I don’t want to make this about me as I know they are going through some issues and have now made it clear ‘don’t call me I’ll call you’. I have shown DH the messages (he also knows them very well) and is a bit shocked too but agrees I should take a step back. I had travelled half way across the country to see them but friend cancelled all meet ups after I arrived in town. Not sure if it’ll ever recover now but I won’t be closing the door.