Top tip for abusive texts

[Birdatthewindow]

I have learned from a friend a top tip. Here it is.

If you have someone in your life that regularly sends you toxic messages then AI is your friend. So think narcissist, manipulator, critical mother, stalky ex, etc.

It’s super power hungry so use it wisely as it uses lots of carbon - but this is what she does;

She copies the message into ChatGPT without reading it and requests one or more of these;

• summarise but change the wording so it isn’t accusatory, blaming, critical or whatever their MO is. Use brief bullet points. Take out the emotion.
• ask if there are any specific, actionable requests?
• ask if there are any specific answerable questions.
• ask it to describe the tone of the message in three words (if it says friendly, straightforward and kind you know you can go back and read the original, if it says antagonistic, blaming and manipulating you know you were right to filter).
• ask if there is any risk to you.

Then tell it you need a non emotional response that won’t invite more antagonism. You don’t even really need the summary.

She doesn’t even read the messages any more. Says it saves loads of time and doesn’t leave her ruminating. Takes away the mental load.

AI may one day be our overlords but for now…

I hear you OP. Thank god for AI because it’s the only way we can stomach DP’s messages from his ex wife, and the only way we can respond, whilst remaining factual and not getting dragged into the toxicity and fuckery. I think most people won’t appreciate how much these messages from narcs can negatively impact people’s mental health and I’m glad they don’t - but if you know you know.

If you know, you know.

This is genius. Really good advice. I will share wiry those with difficult elderly parents. Thanks for sharing.

If someone is toxic you have every right to walk away, no matter who they are. Also you need to set down boundaries, because you are showing them how to treat you (speaking from experience also having a toxic and manipulative family member that I loved)

What a weird thing to do! No one should be sending a have texts unless they are a random scammer.

If there is anyone in her life that is distracting her then she needs to cut them out of her life altogether I dyed or doin this ridiculous text/ChatGPT thing!

Just delete and block.
Too much wasted energy. Personal and literal.

It’s kind of upsetting how many people say just block or report to the police like there is any help or protection from abusive fathers of our kids.

it’s an interesting idea. Might help me reply to my nasty ex

If you don’t have anyone in your life that this might be helpful to deal with then count yourself lucky.

I've had an ex husband exactly like this.

Guess what? I warned him to cut out the shitty texts, he didn't listen. I reported him to police and then I blocked him just as I'd said I would.

From then on, he couldn't text me and if he needed to contact me, he had to go through his mum or his sister.

If people treat you like shit, you don't lie and down and allow it to continue.

Relying on a robot is just enabling them, because they don't have to change their abusive behaviour.

Agree.

Try it and let us know!

But what if the abuse is subtle. Like accusing you of abuse because you reacted to goading. Or accusing you of neglect because you made a mistake. Weaponising every little mistake? And you still need to sort out childcare.