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Original poster

To contacted a friend who is ghosting me

31 replies

pussinboots61 · 13/04/2025 14:29

I know some friendships can fade out but how do you deal with a friend who is ghosting you and completely ignoring you?

A friend who I've been good friends with for the past eight years has suddenly stopped contacting me. We haven't fallen out or anything.

We met at work and clicked straight away because we share the same sense of humour. However, she does have a down side where she can be snappy for no reason and for this reason some people at work couldn't take to her fully,

I went away with her for a week two years ago and it wasn't the laugh and fun I thought it would be as she was snappy with me for no reason but I let it go.

She met some new friends about two years ago whilst she was away on her own and she did change after that. They are the party boozy types were I am not anymore. She was suddenly all for them but still met me and kept in contact with me but spent our whole meetings just going on about them and texting them. Not that I am jealous as I have other friends but I don't behave like that. I felt she was being rude.

Anyway we were in touch via Facebook messenger daily until January of this year when she replied to my text when I asked her if she was OK as I hadn't heard from her for a week and she said she was fine and with her son for his birthday and that she would message me the next day. I have heard nothing from her since.

I messaged her to ask if she was OK, still no reply. I left it a few days and messeged her again, still nothing. But then I noticed that she was active on Facebook so knew she was OK at least. Then came the photos of her being away with these other friends boozing and partying. I put a comment on her post, tagging her in, to say I am glad that she's OK as I had been concerned about her but no response, even though she's replied to other people who have commented the post.

I feel loathed to contact her again but it hurts that she is treating me like this. She used to tell me that she thought a lot of me as a friend. She even asked me to go and view a flat with her that she had been offered two years ago as she valued my opinion.

Should I try and contact her again or forget her but how can I move on from it?

OP posts:
SomethingInnocuousForNow · 13/04/2025 17:23

GeorgianaM · 13/04/2025 17:20

The relationship has ended and she has moved on.

Don't go chasing her when she's already made it clear she has dropped you.

Some people can't face the, 'I wish you well but I've made new friends now.. ' conversation. That shows her lack of character.

Really, truly genuinely I'd prefer a friend to phase me out than say to my face they don't want to be friends anymore, particularly if they attach a reason to it!

WhatNoRaisins · 13/04/2025 17:25

It's a tricky one, ghosting and phasing out doesn't feel nice but I'm yet to find an example of a successful friendship exit interview either.

Agree with PP, you won't get closure here and the least worst option for you is to let it go.

Hollyaddy · 13/04/2025 17:30

pussinboots61 · 13/04/2025 14:29

I know some friendships can fade out but how do you deal with a friend who is ghosting you and completely ignoring you?

A friend who I've been good friends with for the past eight years has suddenly stopped contacting me. We haven't fallen out or anything.

We met at work and clicked straight away because we share the same sense of humour. However, she does have a down side where she can be snappy for no reason and for this reason some people at work couldn't take to her fully,

I went away with her for a week two years ago and it wasn't the laugh and fun I thought it would be as she was snappy with me for no reason but I let it go.

She met some new friends about two years ago whilst she was away on her own and she did change after that. They are the party boozy types were I am not anymore. She was suddenly all for them but still met me and kept in contact with me but spent our whole meetings just going on about them and texting them. Not that I am jealous as I have other friends but I don't behave like that. I felt she was being rude.

Anyway we were in touch via Facebook messenger daily until January of this year when she replied to my text when I asked her if she was OK as I hadn't heard from her for a week and she said she was fine and with her son for his birthday and that she would message me the next day. I have heard nothing from her since.

I messaged her to ask if she was OK, still no reply. I left it a few days and messeged her again, still nothing. But then I noticed that she was active on Facebook so knew she was OK at least. Then came the photos of her being away with these other friends boozing and partying. I put a comment on her post, tagging her in, to say I am glad that she's OK as I had been concerned about her but no response, even though she's replied to other people who have commented the post.

I feel loathed to contact her again but it hurts that she is treating me like this. She used to tell me that she thought a lot of me as a friend. She even asked me to go and view a flat with her that she had been offered two years ago as she valued my opinion.

Should I try and contact her again or forget her but how can I move on from it?

I say this with kindness. Take the hint she is giving you and don't contact her again.

She sounds hard work and You are well rid. But she's rude and a coward.

It's not nice when it happens but it happens more than people realise.

Don't embarrass yourself by contacting her again.

Moonlightdust · 13/04/2025 17:36

Not nice ghosting but maybe the daily chats were too much for her? You said you hadn’t heard from her in a week and messaged again - if I haven’t heard from my BFF in a week I don’t bat an eyelid as we’ve both got such busy lives. Maybe your communication styles are just very different?

YiayiaP · 13/04/2025 18:06

Speaking from the other side… I phased out a friend after she made some awful comments that didn’t align with my own values. I was shocked at the time and told her so. It gave me chance to reflect on our friendship and I realised that it was exhausting me, and it was totally one sided (in that she constantly spoke about herself but never asked about me.) I’m not saying this is what’s happened here, but she will have a valid (to her) reason. Move on and nurture other friendships xx

cramptramp · 13/04/2025 18:08

She’s no friend and not a nice person. Let her go.

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