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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think working from home is a cushy number?

404 replies

MrsSlimShady · 13/04/2025 09:47

I’ve got a new job that entails loads of e-learning, and webinars. They said I could do it at home and I literally sat there on the sofa and ate crisps and had cups of tea in my loungewear on the computer.

My DH works 3 days a week at home. He has back to back meetings but also manages to go the shops, go the gym, do exercise classes before work and at lunch time and do other chores. He’ll say his first meeting is at 0900, then nothing till 1130, then he can pop out 3-4pm….. it all goes like this.

I have another job and I have a 2-3 hour commute, and I am on my feet all day. I cannot get one chore done for my outside life. It has to wait till I’m off unless it is a text or email.

I know there are people working from home who work really hard too, but come on, AIBU to say that if you WFH you are really lucky and have it a lot easier than most other people?

OP posts:
Crazyworldmum · 15/04/2025 09:51

This 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻. Work doesn’t have to be horrendous to be hard and I think after Covid so many realised this . I work in an office where people often used to do 60 hours per week in hope of promotions , I don’t see it now . The mindset changed . Work is just work even when like me you like your job , my mindset is family is way more important than any job

Wexone · 15/04/2025 09:57

Crazyworldmum · 15/04/2025 09:06

Everyone saying oh you have no travel costs , yes we do not but we have house costs . My energy bill went from £220 a month to £400 per month when I started working from home . There are additional costs that often are not accounted for .

Even at that increase that would be still cheaper for me to WFH then go into the office. If i went into the office for the 3 days a week now required by my office ( have fought and got a written agreement with HR to do one day a week due to my commute ) with the increase in every cost it would cost me around 180e extra a week, that over 500e a month and is increasing every few months, it did not cost even half that before covid. Plus being able to keep on top of my household chores - after i finish work by the work by the way would stop - proper cooking i am doing would reduce aswell as my time to exercise. To add on top my sleep so much better aswell as i don't get up as early and dont have that Sunday night dread either
Just to edit, its not all about costs

Staceysmum2025 · 15/04/2025 09:58

Luck didn’t really come into it. I orchestrated this and created the role and worked for 26 grand a year for three years in order to shape the position that I wanted into the role that I needed.

There was nothing lucky about it

SpainToday · 15/04/2025 10:00

Pre COVID, I used to spend 10 hours per week in traffic jams. One hour in each direction, 5 days per week. I don't know how I did it for so long. I do exactly the same job whether I'm in the the office or WFH. We are judged on productivity and outputs, not on presenteeism.

FlyMeSomewhere · 15/04/2025 10:52

UrinalCake · 15/04/2025 08:35

Erm, you know I'm agreeing with you right? The sweeping statement you and I are talking about is 'I’m sure there’s some ppl working hard from home but it’s few and far between'. It looks like we agree that's obvious bullshitting about something the poster can't possibly know to be true. And there are usually plenty more like it in any remote working thread. @Viviennemary's skivers charter nonsense that you responded to a few posts ago is another, frequently aired example.

Show quote history

Apologies I didn't realise which side of the argument your comment was aimed at!
It's frustrating as people try to goad and start debates on it on LinkedIn too.

Guinessandafire · 15/04/2025 11:16

It's a lot more nuanced than people are making out.

For a start, it totally depends on the job and employer.

Then there is a huge difference between permanent wfh and hybrid working. I could no more work from home 5 days a week than I could go into the office 5 days.

There are benefits and negatives to both. WFH can be isolating and restricting. I can't get as much done at lunchtime. I can't go anywhere on my way home from work. Partners friends and family make assumptions to how much free time you get and ask for chores to be done etc that they would never ask of you if you were in the office.

I genuinely wouldn't say it's better or more ' cushy' wfh, just different.

SpainToday · 15/04/2025 11:27

Guinessandafire · 15/04/2025 11:16

It's a lot more nuanced than people are making out.

For a start, it totally depends on the job and employer.

Then there is a huge difference between permanent wfh and hybrid working. I could no more work from home 5 days a week than I could go into the office 5 days.

There are benefits and negatives to both. WFH can be isolating and restricting. I can't get as much done at lunchtime. I can't go anywhere on my way home from work. Partners friends and family make assumptions to how much free time you get and ask for chores to be done etc that they would never ask of you if you were in the office.

I genuinely wouldn't say it's better or more ' cushy' wfh, just different.

Totally agree. A lot of people don't realise hybrid exists, and (I think?) that's what most of us do? So we get the best of both worlds.

And yes, it is definitely more nuanced.

ruethewhirl · 15/04/2025 11:57

Viviennemary · 13/04/2025 10:47

It's a skivers charter. No wonder firms want folk back in the office.

@Viviennemary what's your personal experience of wfh vs in the office? I'm curious now as I've seen you peddle this agenda on other threads as well...

mjf981 · 15/04/2025 12:27

I think in general WFH is not good for a person or society. It leads to isolation and less cohesiveness. This is especially true for young people - 21 year olds tied to a desk in their childhood bedroom for 40 hours a week? That's no life. People need to get out and about and interact with others. Its natural. (and yes, I know there are exceptions to this..)

Flutterbyby · 15/04/2025 12:30

mjf981 · 15/04/2025 12:27

I think in general WFH is not good for a person or society. It leads to isolation and less cohesiveness. This is especially true for young people - 21 year olds tied to a desk in their childhood bedroom for 40 hours a week? That's no life. People need to get out and about and interact with others. Its natural. (and yes, I know there are exceptions to this..)

Edited

People act as if you can only do that at work. But you have all kinds of personal interactions outside of work.

Not to mention the vast majority wfh'ers are hybrid anyway, and also interact plenty online. I've just spent 4 hours in a teams conference with 25 people, I'm interacting plenty!

librathroughandthrough · 15/04/2025 12:34

@MrsSlimShady surely your husband needs to action what was discussed at meetings though? His role cannot just be attending meetings. He will need to work in between meetings to produce the work discussed?

TheAmusedQuail · 15/04/2025 12:48

mjf981 · 15/04/2025 12:27

I think in general WFH is not good for a person or society. It leads to isolation and less cohesiveness. This is especially true for young people - 21 year olds tied to a desk in their childhood bedroom for 40 hours a week? That's no life. People need to get out and about and interact with others. Its natural. (and yes, I know there are exceptions to this..)

Edited

I agree with this, while needing the convenience of WFH. I enjoyed working with people more than I enjoy being at home. Which shocks me. Before I was able to WFH I thought it sounded perfect!

TheAmusedQuail · 15/04/2025 12:59

Viviennemary · 13/04/2025 10:47

It's a skivers charter. No wonder firms want folk back in the office.

I suspect this says more about @Viviennemary, jealousy and their own lack of work ethic, than those of us that work from home.

shootingstar001 · 15/04/2025 13:22

Like anything, I think it just has it's pluses and minuses. I think it'll totally vary from job to job and I think just trying to launch into a WFH job doesn't automatically mean it's going to be super easy and low pressure. I don't think watching training is comparable to a day to day for a lot of WFH roles. Depends on the job!

If this is helpful for consideration, these are my + and - es of the job

Pluses

  • Can use any unexpected downtime for productive household tasks - popping a wash on, potato in the oven, hanging up the washing etc.
  • On days I don't have calls, don't bother having to do hair/makeup etc which is nice.
  • Get my commute time back so can workout in my home before I start at 9.30 which makes it more realistic/cheaper than a gym.
  • Being able to cook all meals and pretty much eliminate spending money on lunches out/processed meal deals etc.
  • Found other people in the office incredibly disruptive, other people in the team just nattering all day long. I found it super difficult to concentrate - I'm SO much much productive without the constant talking and also having to take 15 mins daily to clap someone blowing out candles on a cake or other contrived office "fun"
  • Less small talk and office politics are definitely minimised. Can be more effective with the work.

Minuses

  • Doesn't mean you work less just because your at home- every employer I've worked from home with push the boundaries of working hours constantly in a way they didn't so much in an office. Seem to think you are available 24/7 and the messaging can be constant and anxiety inducing.
  • Sedentary for hours - 3 stone has crept on me since I started working from home even though my diet is better for cooking every meal at home. I don't move for hours sometimes - even with a morning workout and trying to nip out for a walk at lunch - there is no way that amount of movement can negate sitting solidly at a desk for nearly 12 hours in busy periods. I'm just so inactive now. When I worked in London I was wracking up some many steps just getting to and from work, switching tube platforms, popping down to the work canteen for a coffee, walking to work/ walking to meet friends after work.
  • Friends and family not getting WFH - my partner works from home so he gets it thankfully as does a lot of friends. SIL and MIL for example do not and it's rage inducing - "can you not just come out for a walk/tea/lunch?" in the middle of the day.
ruethewhirl · 15/04/2025 13:23

mjf981 · 15/04/2025 12:27

I think in general WFH is not good for a person or society. It leads to isolation and less cohesiveness. This is especially true for young people - 21 year olds tied to a desk in their childhood bedroom for 40 hours a week? That's no life. People need to get out and about and interact with others. Its natural. (and yes, I know there are exceptions to this..)

Edited

It's somewhat age-dependent, I'll concede that. I'm in my late 50s and at this point in my career I would really struggle if my employers went back to being office-based (happily there's no chance of that as they went fully/permanently remote during lockdown) due to various chronic pain and general health issues plus the fact that I'm caring for my elderly mother (with the help of carers during work hours, before Viviennemary anyone takes it into their head that I'm skiving off work to care for her 🙄). At this stage in my career I'm definitely more productive without having to commute, regardless what ill-informed generalisations people further upthread have chosen to make.

However ... I've had decades of in-office experience to learn the 'art' of work so to speak, to learn workplace norms and all of that, and I'm in a profession/role that's mostly done solo, which isn't the case for everybody. I do agree that working solely from home isn't ideal for younger people who are earlier in their careers. I can see it being very difficult to build up a properly rounded career without ever working from an actual workplace so to speak. I think this is where hybrid working scores some points, but I don't think it's a reason to herd everyone who previously had an office-based job back into the office, which I think is what some people would like to see. I think greater flexibility and wfh opportunities since lockdown have been a real plus for so many people.

BigFatLiar · 15/04/2025 13:51

FlyMeSomewhere · 15/04/2025 06:49

Not really, my partner and both work from home 3 days a week, I'm a health & safety advisor for a consultancy and my partner is a Senior IT Network engineer for the NHS, working from home doesn't necessarily mean a job requires no skills or can be done by someone in India!

Show quote history

IT and networks as a prime example of what can be done anywhere. You're main servers can be anywhere in the world. We had three setups one in India, one in US and one in Ireland. They came with their own onsite support for the hardware and we had round the clock software support as they all supported our apps and with the different time zones there was always one available. We only had a small in house networks team office based who's main job was to make sure the senior management were OK.

Droiskyn · 15/04/2025 13:51

Wfh has been a godsend for me in managing menopause. I need complete silence to concentrate whereas the open plan office is noisy. I need to use a heat pad wedged inside my clothes, not possible in the office. If I’ve had poor sleep I can power nap at lunchtime, in the office I can take a full lunch break but can’t get my head down. And I can take an extra half hour in bed as no commute. The time I use to peg out the laundry whilst the kettle is boiling is less than the time I’d spend having unavoidable chit chats on the way to or from the staff canteen to get a cuppa. I couldn’t imagine not wfh these days.

SpainToday · 15/04/2025 15:15

People act as if you can only do that at work. But you have all kinds of personal interactions outside of work.
Not to mention the vast majority wfh'ers are hybrid anyway, and also interact plenty online. I've just spent 4 hours in a teams conference with 25 people, I'm interacting plenty!

@Flutterbyby yes, totally agree. I said earlier in the thread, many people forget (or don't realise) that most of us actually do hybrid, so we're in the office a couple of days per week anyway. And when we're not in the office, we're on Teams, hard to feel isolated.

TheCompactPussycat · 15/04/2025 15:18

@ruethewhirl @Droiskyn
I think these are really good points regarding age/menopause. I am also in my 50s. I'm still very fit and active but I just don't have the energy and stamina I used to. A long day (I work compressed hours) with a long commute is more tiring than it used to be. Hybrid working for me is a chance to make part of my working week less frantic. To be able to complete everything I need to get done at work without leaving me too exhausted to enjoy my weekend. As I said upthread, work isn't meant to be some sort of punishment. I work to live - in my mid-50s, retirement and old-age suddenly seem not that far away and I want to make the most of the time I have left. If wfh enables me to claw back a few hours a week from my commute, then that's to be applauded. It's certainly nothing to feel ashamed of. I have a few friends my age who have taken early retirement - I'm not ready to retire quite yet and my employer would like me to stay, so they are happy to accommodate my hybrid working as it is mutually beneficial for all of us.

Droiskyn · 15/04/2025 15:22

TheCompactPussycat · 15/04/2025 15:18

@ruethewhirl @Droiskyn
I think these are really good points regarding age/menopause. I am also in my 50s. I'm still very fit and active but I just don't have the energy and stamina I used to. A long day (I work compressed hours) with a long commute is more tiring than it used to be. Hybrid working for me is a chance to make part of my working week less frantic. To be able to complete everything I need to get done at work without leaving me too exhausted to enjoy my weekend. As I said upthread, work isn't meant to be some sort of punishment. I work to live - in my mid-50s, retirement and old-age suddenly seem not that far away and I want to make the most of the time I have left. If wfh enables me to claw back a few hours a week from my commute, then that's to be applauded. It's certainly nothing to feel ashamed of. I have a few friends my age who have taken early retirement - I'm not ready to retire quite yet and my employer would like me to stay, so they are happy to accommodate my hybrid working as it is mutually beneficial for all of us.

Absolutely. I also work compressed hours and the lack of commute and making myself comfortable at home positively impacts my output, which remains high, whilst not having to feel fatigued (or at least massively fatigued!) in my own time.

KissedTheBlarneyStone · 15/04/2025 15:24

Seeline · 13/04/2025 10:12

My DH works from home quite a lot these days.
He starts working at the same time he would usually leave home if commuting, and works until the time he would normally get home.
He has an awful lot of meetings, but has a lot of work to do between meetings too.

He likes WFH because he gets so much more done, with a lot less interruptions from others.

Surely those of you that can have an exercise class between meetings or do the shopping have other work beside the actual meeting? Don't you have to prep for them? Or do something decided at the meeting?

I WFH and don’t have time for exercise classes. I’ve had a cancelled meeting hence why I’m on MN.

KissedTheBlarneyStone · 15/04/2025 15:26

Droiskyn · 15/04/2025 13:51

Wfh has been a godsend for me in managing menopause. I need complete silence to concentrate whereas the open plan office is noisy. I need to use a heat pad wedged inside my clothes, not possible in the office. If I’ve had poor sleep I can power nap at lunchtime, in the office I can take a full lunch break but can’t get my head down. And I can take an extra half hour in bed as no commute. The time I use to peg out the laundry whilst the kettle is boiling is less than the time I’d spend having unavoidable chit chats on the way to or from the staff canteen to get a cuppa. I couldn’t imagine not wfh these days.

Me too. I took a huge pay cut but I couldn’t manage menopause without WFH. It is lonely though.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 15/04/2025 15:40

WFH can be isolating but it’s an absolute game changer for professionals with disabilities and lone parents with childcare struggles.

The spread of WFH is a progressive development for these reasons. I know you’re venting OP, but let’s bear in mind that for some people - disproportionately women - it’s a way to stay in the workforce.

onwards2025 · 15/04/2025 15:45

I work from home 2 days most weeks, I log on at 7.30am, struggle to take a lunch break and work through until somewhere between 6-8pm. It's definitely not cushty for all jobs. My work from home days are working at pace and for longer than our standard office hours, the benefit to me is that they allow me to hit my workload hard and that makes my other days in the office easier than they would otherwise be

KissedTheBlarneyStone · 15/04/2025 15:45

MrsSlimShady · 13/04/2025 09:47

I’ve got a new job that entails loads of e-learning, and webinars. They said I could do it at home and I literally sat there on the sofa and ate crisps and had cups of tea in my loungewear on the computer.

My DH works 3 days a week at home. He has back to back meetings but also manages to go the shops, go the gym, do exercise classes before work and at lunch time and do other chores. He’ll say his first meeting is at 0900, then nothing till 1130, then he can pop out 3-4pm….. it all goes like this.

I have another job and I have a 2-3 hour commute, and I am on my feet all day. I cannot get one chore done for my outside life. It has to wait till I’m off unless it is a text or email.

I know there are people working from home who work really hard too, but come on, AIBU to say that if you WFH you are really lucky and have it a lot easier than most other people?

My days are absolutely nothing like your DH’s and I’m paid by the hour!