To feel like I’m never going to be content?

[Emptybookshelves3]

I’m early 40’s, divorced, 2 DCs, have own place, secure job in reasonably well paid role. Also have a DP who I’m happy with. Have nice friends.

but I rarely feel content.

i have also have ADHD which may be relevant to this. But equally may not- want to see if others feel this way.

In some ways, I ‘do’ more than my friends- lots of holidays, day trips etc, but I can’t say i necessarily enjoy them in the moment.

i feel I struggle with enjoying day to day life. Have done nothing all weekend. Can’t seem to motivate myself. I find it hard to just ‘be’ . I often struggle to relax.

i look at other people’s lives and they seem to be much more grown up. I feel I still live minute to minute. A bit like a student in a way.

I am interested in lot of things, take up hobbies then drop them. I struggle to commit to a weekly activity for example.
and actually have some anxiety about going to clubs.

i feel like im always imagining this better life that’s just around the corner, but i never seem to achieve. I never feel settled if you know what i mean?

is it normal to feel like this? Or is it me?

my ‘better life’ would be one where I could invite people round spontaneously without having to do a panic clean and hide all the crap in wardrobes. Id have food in the fridge so could say ‘why not stay for dinner- could make us some <insert simple, but delicious homemade meal> if friends dropped by.
id have a hobby or two ( not the 500 i currently have but never do regularly) that I go to regularly.
id have a realistic plan for weekend which wouldn’t be either massively over scheduled or completely wasted.

your better life boils down to being organised. As someone who is very organised with a tidy clean home… I can tell you that it really does feel good.

do you have the funds for a cleaner? A brutal sort out (even a skip if we’re talking that volume). How old are your children? Can they help

so not think you will eBay this etc. you won’t. Skip it or charity.

it’d not just you that will benefit, I suspect your children will feel a lot happier and settled too.

good luck

@Emptybookshelves3 What do you read and how do you experiment with executive function? Sounds interesting!

@EggBleater is the one to ask @MrsCoyote

I still don’t have a handle on it.

ive simplified my life which helps!

If only I had the answers! Currently struggling immensely due to menopausal insomnia and getting 4-6 hours of sleep. 😩
As for reading, all I can say is look for youtubers and authors who you can relate to and have a similar life to you. For decluttering, Dana K White was good (Marie Kondo was disastrous). For ADHD stuff, Russell Barkley and the "How to ADHD" podcast is helpful. But best to pick and choose from people what might work for you and try it out. Lots of information out there already on youtube etc.
Trying new things like keeping a whiteboard, calendars, apps etc do work, but they are hard to be consistent with. It does help to simplify the systems over time.