Hope DM doesn't get her knee replacement

[Poppplll]

My mother is 71 and in terrible shape. I won't go into details but she is 71 going on 91 and has a whole host of medical issues. She is basically in her bed or chair 70% of the day.
However, she has got it in her head that a knee replacement would fix her problems however the GP's X-ray and found no issues with her knees. They did ask her to attend physio but she has refused.

She has asked the GP to refer her to a private hospital for knee replacement, if the NHS would do anything . Would a private hospital still do the operation?

Her last knee replacement surgery was in 2012 and the post recovery was terrible for her. She refused to do the physio, stayed in bed, and it took 6 months before she started walking properly. Although the pain was better managed, her mobility worsened.

When she had her knees replaced she was still very active and had aphysical job but now she cannot walk more than 50 metres and can just about get herself dressed. She is now incredibly weak, and is unable to lift herself up if she falls.

I am worried she won't survive the surgery or she'd lose the very limited mobility she now has.

As much as I love her, she is incredibly difficult, and says the most vile and abusive things to my father if she doesn't get her way. He has just given up trying to reason with her.

Recovery from knee surgery involves A LOT of physio. She's not going to find it makes any difference if she doesn't do that.

They won’t do it just because she’s asked. The waiting list is long now and you need to show physio etc hasn’t worked

Currently sitting here week 2 after knee surgery, I kid you not it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever endured and recovery is bloody hard. I should point out up until 5 years ago I was fit and healthy doing triathlons! I’m doing physio and it’s painful and I’ve never felt so vulnerable.. at 53 years young I’m finding it hard and I’m in good shape. Definitely not something I’d recommend to anyone not in good shape before the operation.

Let her ask.
The surgeon will assess.
If she gets as far as pre assessment they will assess again there
If everyone decides to go ahead it is not your call
Just don't get involved with her recovery

No one is going to operate on her knees if there is no medical need to do so. She might be able to request repeat X rays and scans but if they come back normal then nothing further will be done.

I'm in my mid 70s. Adult child's partners mother is in her 90s.

We couldn't be more different. I can barely walk without help, she is still sprightly.

Age affects us differently. That's not to say your relative should shy away from the rehab she should do, should she have the second knee replacement. Of course she should.

But is it a little unkind to expect a 70 year old to conform to your expectations? Yes, that's a little unreasonable.

I’m 10 weeks post op for a TKR and it’s been a real struggle.The physical therapy is painful to say the least and I’m still not where I should be with the bending even though I see a physio twice a week. It’s known as the most brutal operation and takes at least a year to fully recover
I’d like to say any decent surgeon would refuse to do the knee replacement if it didn’t need doing but money talks.
I would think they would also look into how successful the op on the other knee has been , and warn her if she doesn’t do the exercises it’s pointless.

If the woman is refusing to do her physio exercises then it’s her choice to be so weak

the physio sets exercises within the capability of the patient. She just doesn’t want to because it takes a bit of effort.

Has she had both knees replaced? A re-replacement is usually less successful and considerably harder to get over than a first one. Can’t see them operating tbh. It’s incredibly frustrating, but when people won’t help themselves there is nothing you can do. All you can do is try not to get embroiled in it and let her get on with it herself. Tough but true.

Only other thought is do they have community physio services where you live? In our area there are physios and OTs who will come and see someone at home for rehab if the patient going to an appointment is not realistic.

Having had one done at 54 (4 years ago) I’m in no rush whatsoever to have my 2nd one done. I was quite fit going into it - I’ve spent the last 4 years building up my legs / quads to try and push the next one on ! I’ve had a few surgeries and it’s by far the most brutal.