To be a bit envious of this lifestyle? (USA)

[ThePinkPonyClub]

I've just watched School Swap: UK to USA on Channel 4 and have ended up feeling a teensy bit jealous of the kind of lifestyle that's possible over there.

Even normal, non wealthy families seemed to be able to live really outdoorsy lifestyles where they can hike and hunt and boat amongst the gorgeous scenery. I feel like in the UK, even rurally it isn't possible as everywhere is so densely populated especially when the weather is nice. The weather is also a limiting factor!

I'm obviously not jealous of the MAGA/Trump craziness or the crappy healthcare and all the rest of the political stuff but purely the lifestyle side of things, it seems so much more possible to live in that free, outdoorsy kind of way.

And the schools seemed to have a much more positive, enthusiastic culture with things like school sports and dances, compared to the UK teens in their drab uniforms staring at their phones the whole time in their miserable, run down secondary school.

aibu? Anyone live this kind of life in the UK? If so, where?!

The recent spate of knife crimes is truly horrific but the UK is quite low in the tables statistically for knife crimes. The USA beats us in this area, too, and the country with the dubious honour of the worst knife crimes rate is, probably unsurprisingly, South Africa.

Her husband had just retired when he became ill. The day he retired their medical stuff became massively more expensive. They might have been particularly unlucky.

I could not cope with the poor diet in the States. That and gun culture.

I spend half the year in the US, and while of course some of the things mentioned are available in the UK, the notable thing for me is the "can do" attitude which enables American to access them

It's the cultural difference between "What are they going to do so I can attend such-and-such?" and "What can I do to make it possible?", and along with generally much higher expectations facilitates a lot which just wouldn't happen in the UK

Yeah go bankrupt to receive top notch healthcare or die waiting for mediocre care. What a no brainer.

@Augustus40 not poor in California though - they have some amazing supermarkets and produce ‘at a price’ what is poor is mid priced eating out - high end- great- cheap and okish - lots of it

I live in the south east and can walk 30 minutes in one direction and be at the foot of the South Downs, I do live in an expensive City but there is a variety of housing/social housing that has exactly the same options. In fact, the cheaper areas in the county have more accessibility to the countryside i.e on their doorstep.

We spend lots of times outdoors in the UK. I am always amazed at how we can seem to have whole forests to ourselves. Look for the free places, not the tourist traps.

Surely in terms of outdoorsy life there isn't a difference in attainment really when you have nearly 42% of people classed as obese. In the UK it is 28% that are obese. I'm not sure these statistics suggests that zest for activity or making high quality food accessible.

Actually, the Harvard course is aimed in good part (as are many 3 year MAs in architecture in the US) at people who did their BA in another subject, which could potentially explain why you would be ahead? I went to grad school there myself, although, a different subject, and knew two people doing architecture who had come from a different, and more generalist, undergrad degree.

But the person you came across knew about the Queen. I wouldn't necessarily expect the average American to know the principles of a constitutional monarchy any more than I would have expected the average Brit to know which powers in the US are devolved to congress vs the executive or the three branches of US government (before it was in the news so much due to Trump flouting them). My kids went to school in the UK. I certainly don't recall them learning that here.

Who said anything about dying. We have right to choose, regular screening and waiting lists aren’t long for everything anyway( unless you read the daily wail).I have had scares and so have friends, we’ve all been whipped in asap. The treatment is superb too. MH provision is dire but I’ve seen many US parents on forums whose kids are struggling to access treatment and cover.

It's a funny thing, US threads on Mumsnet. As someone who has spent roughly half my life in the US and the UK, I tend to recognise neither country as portrayed on here.

In my experience, neither country is a halcyon rosy bastion of tolerance, knowledge, education, endless fields of green, social safety nets and nutritious foods. Nor is either country is a hellscape of shootings, stabbings, dying on the street due to lack of medical care or having people shove factory-made food down your unwilling throat.

What I can say for certain is that in both countries, life is much nicer if you have means.

@user109876543 yep- it comes down to hard cash in either. Although I think UK is a little easier to get by in if of modest means , especially if your housing situation is stable

I agree with that in a general way, but as part of my work I am regularly in contact with communities that are being failed enormously by the UK social safety net, and housing is one of the major struggles. Things are really pretty grim for a lot of people at the moment.

And I also want to add, good American health insurance (we have an international coverage version) is a truly wondrous thing. I wish everyone on both sides of the ocean had access to it. A lot of things people believe about the American health care system are true, and equally a lot are not.

*I do fear that the orange ape is going to make things worse for a lot of people in that department, however.

@user109876543 I don’t disagree on that - it’s been grim for years and certainly post covid - housing situation though has reached peak grimness.

So much misinformation in this post….

Because if the person who holds the insurance gets fired (at will employment) or is incapacitated through being ill and can no longer work, you won’t have insurance anymore.

Incorrect…
COBRA has always been an option, which allows for the former employee to pay out of pocket for coverage for a period of time. It is expensive, but designed to bridge the period until a new plan is found. Pre ACA you could also purchase insurance direct. My DH had to do this for a short period before we were married and we purchased a great policy for $150/mo.

but when my family didn’t have insurance that meant any pre existing condition would never be covered again.

Incorrect… there would have been a period where preexisting conditions were not covered but after a period would be. -This is also not an issue post ACA

Or the copays are extortionate. My mom had crap cover for years so paid everything up to the first 10K a year which was a lot of money for her.

I’ll give you this one but you get what you pay for… It was likely cheap premiums and for catastrophic coverage which is designed for a typical young healthy person without a lot of doctor visits

her mum eventually got insurance but of course her injuries weren’t covered.

Can’t speak to this one but typically the car insurance would pay the hospital bills for car accidents. Health insurance would pay upfront the subjugate the costs with the car insurance company. If no health insurance company involved then the person (mum in this case) would be a cash payer and any settlement money received would be used to pay the healthcare bills.

What is also missing from this is the safety net of Medicaid, which is designed for people under a certain income level.

Is it a perfect system… of course not. There is no perfect system. I think it’s a good system and wouldn’t want a different one.

Well as I said in this thread, this is all 20 years ago and I know some things are currently non issues because of Obamacare.

but it is still true that there are many, many gaps in coverage. My parents couldn’t afford cobra. They couldn’t afford food. And Medicaid didn’t kick in for months and months. So we just crossed our fingers and were fortunately mostly lucky. My brother owed about $10K for breaking his hand but he managed to argue it down. It was an awful time but hopefully less specifically likely nowadays.

the girl in my school didn’t have any cover. The car insurance only paid the initial hospital bills but the ongoing therapy wasn’t covered (vaguely remember this was because the accident was her dad’s fault?)

my sister in law has serious mental health issues and is unemployed. She has no access to mental health support and has to seriously consider her medication based on the copays. She stretches them out by taking some every other day, taking half doses and just not filling some of them. Very specific situation of someone who isn’t coping well for many reasons but the financial burden makes it even harder.

absolutely agree that people with good insurance have a much better time than people with nhs coverage here. But people without insurance have it rough without a safety net.

and Yes - my mom’s insurance was terrible from when she split up with my dad as she had several pre existing conditions and had been carried on my dad’s insurance for decades. Luckily she’s retired now which is a huge relief.

Car insurance generally covers bills regardless of fault, but I can't speak to any individual cases as I don't know the details.

Re mental health support, yes, it is available on the NHS, but right now the population I'm working with is waiting - quite literally - 5,6,7 years for support for suicidal ideation, diagnosis for children with autism and oppositional defiant disorder, eating disorders. Yes, GPs can throw anti-depressants their way, but with a pretty low level of understanding of what they're treating. It's really, really not great - the holes in the safety net are gaping.

Or you could live in France or Switzerland and have top notch healthcare with almost no waiting lists and still essentially free.

Switzerland has a fabulous healthcare system that is almost entirely private. The "socialised" bit is that the government subsidises the premiums for everyone, regardless of how ill they are. In France it's more mixed between private and public, but you can still go to any GP and it costs €8, of which you probably get €7 back from a complementary insurance scheme that most employers pay for.

This all-or-nothing dichotomy between the US and UK systems, as if there is no other possibility, has to stop. I have no time for Nigel Farage, but his suggestion to replace the NHS by an insurance-based system isn't completely mad (unless, of course, he wants a US-style one so his American buddies can make money from it... but then the NHS is doing that via creeping privatisation anyway).

@samarrange I agree with you on this - Add Spain in to that too - my friend has been suprised by how good it is. problem is I think Farage would be talking about exactly that kind of system - not the kind in Netherlands/ Germany etc -

I honestly do not know what you mean. There is plentiful access to good, fresh food in the States, and I've never seen a gun in my 18 years here.

The US has some of the best universities and hospitals in the world. MIT, Harvard, Yale, the Seven Sisters, and then the likes of Johns Hopkins, Mass General etc. They're not all full of dummies!

If you take the most expensive flights/train, sure. Everyone wants to leave at 9 am and arrive by lunchtime...so your cost will be 2-3 times the 6 am version.

I lived in NZ for 2 years (Auckland) where the lifestyle, even in the capital, is of course very outdoors oriented. That aspect was great, if you're into it, but you definitely had to give up on some of the "indoorsy" activities - great theatre, world class museums, decent newspaper, radio, vibrant and diverse cultural events, the feeling that you didn't live on the edge of things!
So basically you need to take those rose-tinted glasses off OP