To be a bit envious of this lifestyle? (USA)

[ThePinkPonyClub]

I've just watched School Swap: UK to USA on Channel 4 and have ended up feeling a teensy bit jealous of the kind of lifestyle that's possible over there.

Even normal, non wealthy families seemed to be able to live really outdoorsy lifestyles where they can hike and hunt and boat amongst the gorgeous scenery. I feel like in the UK, even rurally it isn't possible as everywhere is so densely populated especially when the weather is nice. The weather is also a limiting factor!

I'm obviously not jealous of the MAGA/Trump craziness or the crappy healthcare and all the rest of the political stuff but purely the lifestyle side of things, it seems so much more possible to live in that free, outdoorsy kind of way.

And the schools seemed to have a much more positive, enthusiastic culture with things like school sports and dances, compared to the UK teens in their drab uniforms staring at their phones the whole time in their miserable, run down secondary school.

aibu? Anyone live this kind of life in the UK? If so, where?!

Yeah I know I live here. You absolutely can swim in a lake all year round but in the summer the water is still very cold. I’m talking sand bottom lakes that go for a long time before it gets deep to fresh water lakes. Skiing in Scotland wasn’t that good to be honest. It isn’t the same. We make do here but it doesn’t compare.

You do realise that you can have outdoorsy life in England don't you?

Lol. Good luck affording Brooklyn.

We have a 3400 sq ft detached house in zone 1 and if we were to sell it we still wouldn't be able to buy back our old house in Brooklyn.

I mean considering the geographical size difference, it's pretty obvious that it lends itself to the weather needed for a variety of activities. We have Europe, some of us have European family so have these different choices on offer anyway plus we have the access to different countries' cultures.

We’re Brits living the US, and yes, the opportunity for an outdoorsy lifestyle is great. We’re surrounded by lovely state parks, nature reserves, lakes, hiking and bike trails. Our kids are young teens and up for substantial hikes and bike rides at the weekend, so we make the most of it.

Public schools (ie. State schools) are a real mixed bag. We managed to get the children into an academically selective school with an IB program, but most of the others in
the city are pretty dire. The extra curricular opportunities are great though; DS has done mock legislative days and mock trials at the state Capitol and Supreme Court, and sung in some exceptional choral events. With regard to safety, the risk of school shooters never quite leaves my mind, but on a day-to-day basis I feel like my kids are safer here then they were in London, where too many of my son’s peers were mugged, some at knife point.

Downsides are healthcare (despite having good insurance through DH’s job) and car dependency. We try and bike/walk/take public transport as much a possible, but we couldn’t live entirely without a car like we did in London. Obviously the political situation is an absolute shitshow too 😬😬

I agree with a previous poster about the precariousness of a comfortable lifestyle though. I consider us very fortunate that we have the option of coming back to UK should some big disaster befall us.

I've travelled to the Mid West a fair bit for work and I get what you're saying. A lot of colleagues talked about their kids involved in 3 or 4 different sports, most parents involved in coaching the little league teams or scouts. They took kids to their cabin on the lakes in holidays and they went hiking in national parks and did watersports on the lake several times a year. They have a lot of pride in their local schools and colleges and their achievements are held in high regard (ie; whole small town being absolutely buzzing for a high school football win. In the UK we couldn't give a fuck).

However, i have to balance those thoughts with:

1. If either parent left or died, they'd be financially crippled because there's no social housing system really to protect single parents.

2. If anyone in their family became seriously ill, there's a possibility it would cripple the family financially because there's a chance their insurance wouldn't pay out.

3. They don't have student loans for college, parents are expected to save absolutely massive sums of money for their kids education - isolating a large portion of the youth.

4. The kids could literally be shot in their classrooms attending school.

5. My colleagues i engaged with were all of senior management level, the guys making minimum wage cleaning and working on the shop floor likely had 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet, so even with better weather, didn't have time to spend with kids on the weekend anyway. Or they were too exhausted to.

6. They probably had about 4 weeks maternity leave for each pregnancy.

Unless you pay massive rent or mortgage prices, you are not going to be living anywhere near decent museums or galleries. The Harvard museums at Boston are amazing, but it costs a fortune to live there.

You are totally wrong about the US not having student loans for college. They are a massive (and problematic) industry.

It obviously depends on climate but as a general rule. The USA education is of a far lower standard than the UK

That’s mostly true of the UK too though, that the big, expensive cities have the best galleries and museums.

@MrsFrumble I know. But I could travel to London by train in an hour and access world class museums. The US is enormous, so most people in the US do not live a day trip away from a world class museum.

Well it depends what you want to see, many people are only maximum a couple of hours away from a City gallery or museum. Many people are down the road from castles and cathedrals. Equally, door to door you can be in other European cities by lunchtime like, Paris Copenhagen, Berlin and visit their galleries and museums.

I lived in the US for a time. I loved the natural beauty. But I really missed museums, galleries and decent theatres. I had to go on holiday to places like Boston to access those.
Also the US has much more extreme weather than the UK. And that can be frightening and lethal.

No, they really don't have to worry about that. Millions and millions of children go to school every day and don't get shot. Consider the amount of school days each child experiences in their education and multiply that number by the millions of children in the US. Then divide it by the number of children who get shot at school. The chances of a child getting shot at school are utterly minuscule. The chances of them getting killed on the roads going to and from school are way, way higher.

I left the UK for America when I was 32, as my husband had American citizenship and wanted to live there again, having left as a child. I've been here almost twenty years. It's a great lifestyle and the people are really nice. It's my second home now and so it really annoys me when UK people talk badly about the US. Yes, I hate Trump too, but not everything in the US is about politics, most people do not get shot, and the majority of people are not racist. The threads on here about refusing to come to the US because of Trump really annoy me. This place is gorgeous - it has lakes, mountains, prairies, tropical beaches, and so much more...yet politics will keep you away? I think some people are very jealous of the US.

I mean, you have to go to London or other cultural centres to get those in the UK, too. It's the same everywhere. You don't usually find great museums, galleries, and decent theatre in small town or the middle of nowhere in any country.

If you want to be in those cities by lunchtime you have to get up in the middle of the night!

I’ve lived in Norman, a Uni town near Oklahoma
Yes outdoorsy
Yes there’s far more space, fewer people around , cleaner air and all that comes with a less populated country
but
there are so many NOs that just brought me back here to England.

I would also say that despite the space, despite the fact you can drive to lots of different landscapes within the US, most people don’t. They stay exactly where they are. Friends in Oklahoma hadn’t left the state and were envious that I was travelling all over the place whilst there.

When things are on your doorstep you take it for granted so I would say, visit Wales …..Wow. Driving from the southern border through the Welsh countryside to the West coast is truly magical. Then try the Highlands and Islands. They are all on our doorstep and are wonderful.

The education they actually get in most of these schools is poor - American children are around two years behind British children on average. Not because they are not as clever but because they don't have the breadth and depth of education.

1. You can find extremely cheap housing if you're not near a major city, really nice too.
2. You're actually better off in the US in this way, because people have more and better life insurance in the US than the UK, and the bar for payout is much lower. I have some great insurance for longterm care and critical illness, and you can't even buy those insurance products in the UK.
3. They do have student loans.
4. The chances are utterly minuscule.
5. True; people doing the worst jobs have a hard time.
6. Not true; federal leave is 8 weeks, and most companies do a lot better than that.

I’m in the U.S., and I honestly don’t recognize the country being described here—either in the original post or in the comments. I’ve never seen a gun in real life outside of a cop’s holster. The obsession with guns being portrayed feels entirely shaped by media, not by lived experience.

The U.S. is enormous, with vastly different regions, climates, and population densities. It’s really hard to grasp its complexity through media alone—it’s an unreliable lens for understanding a country this diverse.

The two systems are very different and it's no use comparing them, really. US school education values breadth and also extra-curriculars, which make for a more rounded experience. US students get to the same level, but later. And at graduate level, the standard is very high.

Yes, exactly. UK people are always very down on the US. I think it's jealousy.

Agree.
I was at Uni there and we were in a degree year group higher. Not to mention they really had no idea about a lot of the technical stuff required for our profession.
In their final project a student asked me if his 40 storey tower block needed foundations 😳 !
Another Uni friend asked what it was like to live in a country RULED by a Queen ??
Those friends who were not at Uni had very very basic knowledge of the world around them.

I don’t think people are any more jealous of the US than they would be of any country they have never been to or have but just for a holiday. Much the same as others may think of the UK.

although at the moment the US isn’t doing itself any favours and that’s evidenced by news today that there’s been a 15% drop this year in holiday bookings from the UK ……..so let’s assume it’s a no atm.

Not in my experience and I studied with post grads