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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to go into the hospital for a visit tomorrow

8 replies

BlueBrickRoad · 11/04/2025 19:17

First of all does anyone know if hospitals are strict on visiting hours? My local hospital has 2-4 pm visiting hours and another slot in the evenings?

I have a question/AIBU

One of my mother's brothers has cancer. I only found out by accident when he was in ICU very ill. The cancer seemed to have been top secret or something. I do not know what the reason was behind keeping it a secret.

He is out of ICU now and on a ward.

My mother would like to visit him in the hospital and she is just after telling me today and she would like to go into town tomorrow and visit him tomorrow and she wants me to go with her.

I don't drive so we would have to go in on the bus. My mother is not a stranger to the bus or to the hospital. She does attend the hospital about once every 3 or 6 months for the eye clinic at the hospital.

The thing is, she is just after dumping this on me today for tomorrow. I know I am free from work tomorrow however come Monday I am entering a spell in work that will likely get very intense for the next 2-3 weeks. Every day and every week will be different. Work is also piling on a lot of other stuff to me too. So the physical work and hours will need to be done but I am required to work on some courses too. It's going to be hell for a few weeks for me at work.

But not only that I am getting bullied and harassed from an ex friend. I had a quite spell for a few months but something has triggered her and she is lashing out at me all over again. I got a lot of abuse from the person this week. It's not physical abuse but it's electronic abuse and physcioligical abuse. This is long term too and the law was never on my side to stop this person and just leave me alone. No one understands what I am going through and what this means. It is so draining and exhausting and I can feel every bit of this harassment from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and to the pits of my stomach. It's so draining and exhausting. But I have to get up every day and still go to work and keep on going.

It was a hard week for me.

I am just drained. I also have a hair appointment tomorrow in the middle of the day for a much needed trim. I do need it and it's been a few months since my last one.

So I don't want to go into a hospital ward tomorrow. Because of the heat in hospitals and I find it so draining and I am already in a very bad place with very low energy. I just can't cope with this. Then there is getting my hair done and possibly sweating buckets in a hospital. Why do I bother?

My mother has poor comprehension. She really doesn't understand that I am busy with work and I am very sick this week with exhaustion from the harassment. She doesn't understand this. I didn't tell her but even if I did she would likely just write me off anyways and asked me to go in with her.

All for an uncle I only ever met a handful of times in my 40+ years of life.

AIBU if I don't go into a ward with my mother tomorrow. I could consider accompanying her to the grounds of the hospital or to a nearby cafe and then let her visit her brother. I really just don't want to go into a hospital ward.

But not only that. It's not fair on her brother either. He is likely in a very low place right now and in a vulnerable place. Why have me go into town visit him when I hardly know him. I know of him but that's it. I am not close to him.

I had to phone for help this week also from an organisation to help me with the abuse and harassment, I was in such a low place myself.

I just need time off this weekend from other people.

I would like to go and sit in a pub or hotel with a meal and a glass of wine and a book or my crochet. Not go into a hospital.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 11/04/2025 19:18

Why have you posted this again?

BlueBrickRoad · 11/04/2025 19:43

Mrsttcno1 · 11/04/2025 19:18

Why have you posted this again?

The other one was in chat and I didn't much traffic or replies there. Also the opening posting didn't really have all the information included and also I am just after thinking of another question too.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/04/2025 19:45

Just say
Sorry not this weekend
End of

SBHon · 11/04/2025 20:24

Block your ex friend

Anotherdayanothernameagain · 11/04/2025 20:25

You got lots of replies on your previous thread.

BlueBrickRoad · 11/04/2025 20:26

SBHon · 11/04/2025 20:24

Block your ex friend

She is blocked. She is an obsessed and desperate cow who wants to maintain contact by getting around blocks.

OP posts:
Mumofteenandtween · 11/04/2025 20:30

I hope that you don’t wake up with a sore throat tomorrow. If you do then it would be very risky to visit someone who is likely to be immune suppressed but you could still get your hair done. 😉

BakelikeBertha · 11/04/2025 20:36

In what way is this ex friend harrassing you now OP?

As far as the hospital visit, just tell your mother you've other things you need to do. What's she going to do, drag you with her?

You sound like you're letting other people control your life, the ex friend can only harrass you, if you let her, unless of course she's physically stalking you, which is another matter altogether.

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