To be totally embarrassed at doing a crap interview

[WhydoImessupinterviews]

I have just come out of an interview (online). I am a fairly senior at work, a Director, and know what I am doing, but somehow gabble in interviews. Is this just me? Why, why, why? One of the panel was scratching her head in embarrassment. I actually conduct interviews quite often and wouldn't employ me.

AIBU to give up job hunting (really need new job - narcissistic boss).

Oh god I don't know what to tell you

I totally go to pieces in interviews,it's just pathetic

The only trick to improve is to pretend I'm someone else - a strong, confident woman dressed in linen, really

Look into interview coaching, there are companies out there that will support you to get the best out of interviews and represent yourself well.

I did an awful interview for two people I was working with. Lots of people made feel a bit better saying its always harder interviewing when you know the people.

It is always very hard to judge online ones though.

It might not have been as bad as you think - and the woman may have just been scratching her head! Don’t give up hope.

At my last interview, I started with ‘Please excuse any nerves I’m showing; I know I’m not brilliant at interviews.’ The interview was the last part of the day, which had included various tasks that I knew I could do to a high standard.
I got the job, and they said they liked my honesty (and the fact that I’d been nervous showed that I was keen about the job).

I won't say I am glad it is only me but I guess it's not that unusual.

I like the idea of acting - will try that next time. I maybe need to channel my narcissistic boss. Not sure I get the linen bit though - my face is crumpled enough....

I had an embarrassing interview a few months ago, internal but not with people i work with on a daily basis thankfully, I still cringe now

Thanks, that's really a good idea. I think it is any type of public speaking I am really bad at. I just can't seem to think on the spot. I probably need to practice a lot more.

Thanks @Blarn and @Picklepower this is the very reason I have never tried for an internal promotion. You are both very brave.

If you get the job, you obviously weren't as bad as you thought. If you don't get the job then you'll never see the panel again anyway so who cares

I am not sure about saying re nerves - I think if you are in a senior role that has an external comms element it would be inappropriate. I am 54 FFS.

Don't worry we all have embarrassing interviews, sometimes you still get the job.

I got dragged around by the prospective bosses dog when I turned up for one and they saw it all. I got the job by sheer dint of being the only applicant. I made up for it after.

I hope it didn't go as bad as you feel it did and don't give up job hunting, no one pays a good enough salary for you to have to cope with a shit boss.

Perhaps. However, there’s a big difference between doing your usual day-to-day role and being in a job interview (which should really only happen every few years). As a secondary school teacher, I’m not at all nervous trying to hold the attention of a roomful of teenagers or meeting their parents, but I do get very nervous in an interview situation with a head of department and a couple of members of the senior leadership team.

I have to interview for the job I’ve been doing excellently for the last 6 years in a couple of weeks as part of a restructure. My whole career now depends not on how well I do my job but whether I can guess the right buzz words and phrases in a fucking interview.
I am terrible at interviews, partly because I am autistic and don’t understand the stupid questions half the time or I misinterpret them and go off on a tangent or I answer too literally or cannot recall a single example that I think fits the question.
Also partly because over the last few years my confidence has been eroded and I am absolutely terrified that I will lose my job that I have worked so hard at and managed to keep. I’ve been with them for 20 years in a couple of different roles. It will be catastrophic for me if I mess it up. I will literally have nothing in my life. This restructure has been going on for 8 months and I’ve been in ‘at risk’ status all that time. The level of stress and anxiety I have is off the scale. I can’t sleep, I keep bursting into tears every time I think about what might happen.
I’ve done multiple interview skills workshops over the years but none of really help.

I am so sorry PineappleChicken that really sucks.

Two of my team have autism, and they both asked pre-interview if they could have the questions in advance (reasonable adjustment) which I was happy to do. Could you try to do that? I think it might help.

Yes, you are right - I just have to keep on persevering. This boss is defin the worse I have ever had - and two others were fired for being rubbish. For some reason the CEO doesn't see it and thinks it's just a "style" issue.

We all have bad interviews. If it makes you feel better a few months ago someone asked me a question and I said “welll Peter….”
his name was Matt. In my rush to answer I had inadvertently read the name logged into the teams call rather say the name of the person on the panel. CRINGE.

i have a tendency to ramble and I genuinely think a high level of preparation is key- for this type of question I structure it into 5 sections of response THEN I SHUT UP. I have to massively resist the urge to fill the silence

in person, drinking or pouring water helps to give you an excuse to pause.

I’m a director in a plc and that said, the best roles I’ve had are ones where me and the interviewer have bounced off each other with energetic conversation. I don’t work massively well with faceless corporate types, although of course it’s hard to avoid them

I’m sure you didn’t gabble. He last two senior people whose tears I mopped up after they totally flunked an interview ended up getting the roles 🤣🤣🤣
I’m just saying you aren’t the best person to judge how it went so pour a gin and wait to be told!

This really shouldn’t be so mysterious for you. Your company should be more transparent about what the questions will look like and what good answers look like.

Have you prepared examples from the new job description? You can use the star method to communicate them.

best of luck

The best person I've ever employed did a pretty terrible interview. He was incredibly nervous and just couldn't get his words out and stumbled along with long blank periods where he couldn't think what to say. His CV was great and I knew he could do the job and could see it was all nerves and he's been absolutely fantastic. It may not have been as bad as you think.

Have you done practice interviews with a friend? I've always found them to be very helpful, especially if I record them so I can watch them later and actually see my performance. I've also found it helpful to prepare written responses to possible interview questions. I practice those over and over until I can give my little speeches smoothly and seemingly naturally, making sure to work in all of the little bits and pieces that I want to make sure to mention, even if the interviewer doesn't ask those questions.

That is logical. I am just having a horrible flashback to my school's attempt to help comms by letting me try LAMDA exams. My lovely dad went and bought me a bar of chocolate afterwards, I do miss him. He hated public speaking and the only time he managed it was at my wedding.

Same age as you OP. I fucked up an internal interview a couple of years ago even though there were FOUR positions (14 interviewees). I'm fairly confident, good at my job, strategic, good soft skills, and had just won a fairly big award after being nominated by colleagues. I just go to pieces in interviews. Can't get my words out, mind goes blank, can't think of examples to demonstrate the point I'm trying to make even though I've prepared them all in advance and practised saying them out loud. Where I work it's all competency-based interviews where you have to give examples based on STAR, and you're scored on these answers only, with nothing else (experience, personality, aptitude etc) allowed to be considered. So if you fluff this, you're buggered. I'm already at quite a high grade but the next grade up is a big jump and when a role does come up they are hugely competitive. There will be another opportunity this year, and I'll go for it again, but already dreading it. Not giving up though - might try and get some coaching as another pp said - you shouldn't give up either. I bet you're brilliant!

My worst interview ever was an internal with people I knew, which made it so much worse. I'd manage to totally misunderstand the role, I think I thought it was much closer to my existing one than it was (it was less about editing stuff and more about research administration) and the guy interviewing me was trying to gently steer me in the right direction so I didn't embarass myself too much. 😶

Firstly, don’t feel bad, we have all been there! Secondly, have some public speaking coaching. I did and whilst it was utterly excruciating (they recorded me. I was flapping around and laughing like some kind of Butlins Red Coat, when in fact I was a senior director at a multi national 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️) it really helped. They suggested I “channel my inner Celeopatra” and, whilst I thought it sounded like bullshit, I tried it and it did work. They recorded me 3 months later and I was like a different person. That was many years ago but I still use it now.

Yes I think you are right it is probably time.