Does anyone else hate staring?

[Babysonfire501]

Stupidly decided to wear a short skirt as it's 22 degrees here. Cue leering from much older men, a wolf whistle from a man on a bike passing, and just general staring. No it doesn't mean I am attractive or think I am, I probably just look 'dressed up' and because I'm showing some skin some men think it's an invitation to be perverts.

Even staring from some women too, not sure if it's a 'who does she think she is' or 'why on earth is she wearing that' .

Just makes me feel paranoid and these men should be ashamed. Makes you feel like fully covering up.

It's the men twice your age that wind me up. Blatant leering and perving, I bet most of them are married too.

Maybe you were showing more than you thought you were showing? Either way the staring and whistling is gross and YANBU. Probably. (If your arse was hanging out I might also find it really hard not to look).

Obviously you can wear whatever you like, but I don't think I've ever experienced what you describe....except when I was a very young teen and a friend and I used to get dressed up and stand by the main road to see how many hoots we could get 😆

Like @Pillarsofsalt it does kind of depend.

If someone dresses very differently from everyone else around them, then they tend to draw looks from people. It's human nature.
We have no idea where you were or quite what you looked like.

As it happens I was wearing shorts earlier, and I popped into the shop for milk on the way home from the gym. I wasn't stared at, leered at, or perved at.
I suspect one or two people if they noticed, probably thought - 'Oh, that woman is probably on her way to or from the gym' and went on with their day.

I know you can wear what you want but I would assume if women are staring too then your skirt either must be shorter than short or very revealing in some way.

Tbh I'm surprised so many men were reacting that way and I didn't think wolf whistling was still a thing so it does seem a very extreme reaction when seeing young women in extremely revealing clothes is the norm, at least where I live

The women might be thinking ‘Wow! She looks great’. So might the men.

I saw a woman of about 22 today serving in an outdoor cafe. She had the most toned, tanned stomach I had ever seen. With a diamond belly button shining in the sun. She was breathtaking to look at, I commented on her, so did my DH and my 8 year old daughter was transfixed.

If the older men leered or gestured or said something to you I could understand feeling uncomfortable, but people will always stare at other humans, it’s human nature.

Not a problem Ive ever had! But then again Im older and I only wear my short skirts with thick tights.
Maybe it was a shock to their system to see bare skin after winter!

(I do sometimes stare...but only if Im still in thermals and I see somebody in shorts/vest/etc. Then its just staring in a 'how arent you cold!?' way)😁

Maybe, as has been suggested, your skirt is much more revealing than you realise.

It was only about 3 men in the entire day but that's more than enough.
Maybe it is very short, ill try to pull it down a bit!
I know it's human nature but it just makes me very paranoid. I'll try to ignore it.

Urgh!

I'm fucking 60 years old, yes 60 and wore a nice knee length summer dress with 3/4 sleeves yesterday perfectly respectable dress and got fucking stared at for ages by a 50 something letch in the car park who was sat in the car while his poor wife was in the shop getting his dinner.

fucking pig. I almost took a photo and put it on social media. and he was so brazen. I gave him a full on face look and turned my head as if to say "what are you staring at"? and he just continued.

fucking sick of it.

How short was the short skirt?

Going out the house in a short skirt, bare legs is bound to trigger wolf whistles. Sad but it's predictable.

I'd feel half dressed in a short skirt in daytime. What's wrong with a longer floaty skirt or knee length? Many short skirts look much shorter on.

The very reason I never wore anything like that when I was young. Staring, wolf whistling, etc, a million times worse back then.

It's human nature to look, but the scrutiny & leering would drive me insane. Sorry you've had a day of that.

What a completely bizarre reaction.

Perfectly normal, if you are sitting in a public space, for your eyes to follow anyone that passes on your radar.

Do you actually ask these men their age and if they're married...or are you sitting in a room full of your own family and know?

“how short was the skirt?”

My God you’re kidding right? This is just as bad as saying women are asking to be raped because of wearing skimpy clothing. Women are allowed to wear clothing that keeps them cooler when it’s hot without having to put up with being objectified.

Do you think when men walk around in just shorts during hot weather women wolf whistle and objectify them? No. It seems to only be an issue when women want to wear less.

Women dress in cooler clothing for their own comfortability not for the male gaze.

It doesn’t matter how revealing it is. Stop excusing men’s poor behaviour. Yes it’s natural to look. But you look and then look away. There is absolutely no need to wolf whistle or call out to the person. THAT is the the behaviour which is not ok.

This is just as bad as saying women are asking to be raped because of wearing skimpy clothing.

No it's not. It's completely different.

Of course anyone can wear what they want. But equally, when people wear things that don't sit comfortably with the culture they are in, then they will get people looking at them.

Do you think when men walk around in just shorts during hot weather women wolf whistle and objectify them?

Any bloke walking round my town centre in little hot pants or in lycra cycling shorts (when not cycling) would get looks and comments in most places, yes.

The point most people are making in their posts is not that you can't choose to wear whatever you want, but that, when you go outside of what is "normal" wherever you are that day, you will get looks and it's up to you if you are happy with that or not. Bikini on the beach? Fine. Bikini in the supermarket? Not fine. Plenty of pubs and cafes and restaurants expect men to put a top on to enter, however hot it is.

None of this is a comment on the OP or anyone else. None of us know what is considered 'short'. In the same way there are leggings, and then there are leggings.....

TBH, I haven't heard many wolf whistles in the last 3 decades and those I do are more likely to be from women.

And groups of middle aged women definitely stare at young men with their shirts off or their legs out.

Fucking hell, so what most of you are saying is that women shouldn't wear short skirts if they don't want to be stared at.

Victim blaming at it's finest...would you also say it was her fault if she got assaulted because she was wearing a short skirt?

Fuck me

I do prefer to cover up now as the comments made me feel really uncomfortable. One man in particular stopped me when I was walking with my DC when he was about 2 and it really creeped me out. I think some see it as a compliment but don't realise it can be intimidating.

I'm in Glasgow and the sun is out for the second week on the trot so every dog and their granny is in short skirts, short shorts, short everything and I've not heard a single whistle from anyone to anyone(despite being out a lot this week).

What are you wearing??

If you talk to them most will back down. They can’t deal with a woman that talks back.

Years back my parents were having work done on the house, I’d gone for a walk or out somewhere and the men whistled, called out. Unfortunately for them I didn’t carry on up the road but walked up the drive way. They all fell silent.
The boss came down and apologised to my father, then me.

I lived in jeans and t shirts so nothing remotely sexy!

One starring is not the same as being assaulted and two people look at things they find attractive or unusual. Why wouldn't they?

You don't need to actually ask a man's age to know he's getting on a bit, do you? It's obvious from his appearance, whatever he may prefer to think. Especially to much younger women. The married bit will be a guess. But given only 30% of middle aged men are single, odds on she's right.

Most normal people just give a quick glance at 'things' they find attractive. I imagine OP is referring to that prolonged slack jawed gawping or dirty old man gurning that some men do when the 'thing' is a young woman.