Sexual comment at soft play area - is this harassment?

[GemmaJ95]

Would you consider this harassment/offensive? At soft play with my young DS yesterday, I was helping him navigate an area so was more or less on all fours in an unflattering position. I sensed someone had been waiting behind me for a short while, so once he was through I got up and said sorry a bit flustered.

It was a man with his (I assume) daughter and he just said to me ‘ don’t worry, I could admire that view all day ‘, I awkwardly moved away.

I have been thinking about it since and am kicking myself for not saying something!

What an absolute creep. Yes, this comment would probably make me feel uncomfortable and I would have mentioned something to staff. But I know it’s easier said when you’re not in that moment yourself

Eeew why do men think that’s acceptable, I would have told the mother to keep an eye on her pervy husband while in a children’s setting.

I’m annoyed at myself that I didn’t say anything - I wouldn’t want someone else to be made to feel that uncomfortable by him.

Yes this is why I would have told staff but don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s easier in hindsight and you were probably flustered.

Maybe if you go to that soft play again just mention it, I know it’s probably hard because you don’t know his name so there might not be much they can do about it now. Although if the soft play was quiet and they take names down they might be able to look at records x

Yuck. Don't feel bad about not saying anything. It's instinctive (and probably sensible) to just remove yourself quietly when confronted by a creepy threatening man.

Ewww that’s awful. What a creep.

Yes 100% creep. I don’t think that people who work in a soft play centre would be able to do anything but I would’ve told him to F off and called him a perv

Awful, hope you’re ok OP.

Sadly I would file this under 'men are fucking idiots' and let it go. It's not acceptable and I'm sorry you felt humiliated. It happened to me the other week too when I backed into a man by accident at the supermarket and he insinuated I 'enjoyed'' it. Dickhead. X

I'd report it to staff. It's inappropriate and creepy.

I had similar from two men at a gym and left in tears and didn't go back for ages. I shared the story on a Fitness Forum I was part of at the time and was really surprised by the amount of women who responded by saying that I should have reported it to the gym management as when they had been in the same situation, the managers had taken it very seriously and either given a warning or terminated the creeps' memberships as they had a zero tolerence policy to sexual harrassment of members. It was a good 10 or 11 women who had reported and had good action taken by the management. Soft play most likely have a policy with regard verbal and physical aggression or abuse of staff and clients. Ask what you should do if you've been sexually harrassed by another parent. Give a description of the man and a factual account of what happened so they can keep an eye on him in case he's creepy with any other women.

Maybe have an answer ready for the next time something like that happens.
'The 1970s would like their creepy comment back,' maybe. You'll think of something.

Yuk, don't kick yourself it's hard to respond in those situations, think I would have smiled politely and seethed later. At best I might have managed a raised eyebrow. What a dick 🤮

The spirit of Sid James lives on.

Honestly, are these men beamed in from the 1970s or something? Such tedious creeps.

Yes, it is like time travel, isn't it?

While I do vaguely wonder whether they would wilt and run screaming if you looked them up and down, stone-faced, as if you were considering making an offer on a slightly substandard sheep at a mart, and said 'OK, I've got ten minutes. The ball pit, now. You'd better be really good.'

Probably safer to say 'I'm embarrassed for you that you think that's an acceptable thing to say, especially in front of a little girl. Who will be dealing with this in future if men still think this is normal behaviour.'

Why would you assume the mother was there?

Why would you assume it's her responsibility to keep him on a lead?

I'm old enough to call that banter, bit of a laugh, everything is so serious these , I honestly don't think it's any coincidence that there is such an increase in anxiety, depression and other mental health problems.

Unpopular opinion, I know, but it's mine, no need to tell me how wrong I am🙄

I wouldn't say harassment as it was just a one off comment - definitely an "eww WTF!" moment though!

Like you don't have enough to do running after your toddlers in those places without having to keep an eye on your husband being a nobhead too 😭😂
Feck that lol

I wouldn’t class it as harassment. It was probably a bit unnecessary, but is something g I would just laugh off and not give a second thought to.

I wouldn't call it harassment unless he made multiple comments but it's definitely creepy fucker behaviour. Tell him to fuck off if it happens again and definitely tell a member of staff. I can't believe some men really believe this kind of crap is ok. Nowadays though it seems like as it's only a woman being made to feel uncomfortable then who gives a shit🤷 misogyny everywhere unfortunately

I’d laugh it off. Or if I was offended given him a bit of an eye roll. If he’d have said thank fuck you’ve moved that massive blockage from my eyeline I’d get why you were upset.

Ick so awful.

Don't beat yourself up for not saying anything - that's a pretty oturageously inappropriate comment and you were understandably thrown. You could say something to staff but I guarantee that they'll do nothing either ,mostly becuase they'll have no idea what they can do.

Awful awful man. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Ahh clicked the wrong vote you are not being unreasonable! What a creep!

With his daughter? I’d have asked him how he would feel if someone said that her; possibly he’d have squirmed and given it some thought 🤞
oh but wait, maybe not, he’s a man and wouldn’t see the correlation 🥺😡

Meh, you where both stuck in a small space with your kids.

He made a defusing 'dont worry' joke with a thinly veil compliment about the awkwardness of it because you seemed embarrassed. I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, I HIGHLY doubt he was coming on to you.

He didn't chase you into a hole and ram his crotch in your face like a sex pest, you where both doing what parents do in a soft play and really it was your arse rammed in his face.

No, every man knows this is wrong, and he was absolutely fishing to see how it was recieved. Its not a compliment, and only a completely ignorant, sleeze bag would think otherwise. Top notch creepy fuckery. The absence of actual physical sexual assault doesn't justify it in the slightest.