Hi, I’m a new starter (been at company 4 months). My job involves collaborating with other teams. There is one colleague who is a strong character and I am impressed by his work and high standards. However. Over past 2 months he has begun to be quite sharp and cutting with me.
Examples include.
- speaking on the phone to another colleague saying he is “sick and tired” within earshot - about me (he was talking loudly - as he always does - about our joint project and a task I am leading on)
- asking for information I can give him, but asks my manager. This was in office and my manager shared that I could give this to him. I answered with a reply and said colleague said curtly I don’t need all of this information, I just need XYZ. I sent him the info on email and he said thank you.
- I set up a meeting to plan and prepare for a workshop his response was we don’t need to co design this together and was very short.
- He cced my manager into an email asking for an update on said workshop - I responded with full information and update. He could have just messaged me ahead of this email and asked me for an update, rather than a full cc etc.
- He is on leave over Easter and called a meeting on project with his line manager and two other colleagues at short notice but did not include me which to me indicates issues - not just handover planning.
- I sent a thank you note for his input and wishing him a good Easter before his leave - he read and didn’t reply. This to me is an indication of his actual dislike for me.
my approach always as a team member is to reach out to colleagues over chst message if I need something and if do not have a response then email and cc others.
i respect my colleague but it is driving me wild why someone feels they can use such a curt, dismissive tone (which my manager also has noted) and also be so cold/ rude.
i want and need to bring him onside but I feel my role is at odds with how and what he wants to achieve - he disagrees with some milestones that were agreed before I joined and also with some of project direction. He is a really good, well respected professional but his attitude towards me is upsetting me. Love thoughts on how to manage and handle this.