To ask how I should deal with this neighbour

[Frannieisnthappy]

I live in a block of shared ownership flats in a city setting. The flats are expensive even though shared ownership is a form of social housing. There is a mix of children and those without children.

I have people above and below me. I live with my 11 year old who is aware that we live in a flat and need to be considerate of noise. The family above have a a child and I often here noise but nothing excessive - some running/jumping but nothing that concerns me.

However I am getting increasingly aggressive messenger messages from my downstairs neighbour about my child to the point I am now on eggshells about the noise being made. But I dont think my child makes that much noise.

Tonight we had a school friend and their mum over for dinner. We played a few games, me and the other mum had some fizz, we listened to music (no dancing) and ended the night watching a tv programme before their uber arrived. There was no running about although there was a cushion fight with my sofa throw cushions.

I have just checked my facebook and the downstairs neighbour has again messaged me about the noise including the noise of my balcony door closing.

I am feeling conflicted - yes I want to be considerate but as I dont think the noise is excessive I am not sure what to do.

My feeling is that in flats you will hear neighbours (having lived my whole life in flats) and so that is part and parcel of the living set up.

However from previous conversations with my downstairs neighbour I know they have not lived in a flat before.

In addition my child travels to and
from school alone and has on occasion bumped into the neighbour in the lift. They neighbour apparently looks my child up and down then stares at them. They are in their 30s and my child is 11.

Am I being unreasonable to respond to tonights messsge with a link to the local environmental health page so we can actually be monitored as I am confident that we are not excessive noise makers.
(Maybe I should/could self refer?)

Tell her you are quite certain the noise you are making would not been deemed "unreasonable" – it's just the noise of day to day living and in flats one inevitably hears some of this from neighbouring flats.
However, if she does not believe you she could complain to the Environmental Services department of your council and they will come around and measure the noise and decide if it is reasonable or not.

I live in a block of maisonettes and a lot of people don't know where noise is coming from they just assume where they think it is. I had a note put through my door, going on about excessive noise when it's the person through the wall, I wrote the number they should be speaking to and at the bottom of the note and went to complainants door to discuss it but got no answer. When I seen them a few weeks later I brought it up but they were not bothered anymore. I was going to suggest that they walk round the building and then they should find the noise, I got blamed for dragging chairs along the floor in the kitchen but I don't have chairs in there, they also said about walking in heels but I don't wear them. I think it's definitely another neighbour causing the noise

Can I ask, do you have carpet or hard floors?

Ask if you can go down and listen while DD moves around your flat and puts the Tv on at its normal volume. It might be much louder than you expect especially if you don’t have carpet with underlay.

Thank you - part carpeted (bedrooms) and insulated wooden floors in hallway, kitchen/diner/lounge. One of the complaints was specifically around my carpeted bedroom.

I am going to ask her if I can visit whilst my child walks around and makes some sound.

Thanks all