AIBU to escape yet again?

[ToldoRasa]

I'm appealing to you all for advice as despite the fact that i have been thinking about this for a few months now, I feel incapable of making a decision.

I left a terrible relationship and moved back home to my parents' house with my small child. Reader, it has been unbearable. My parents invited me but since moving in they have been controlling and critical of me, often berating me for being a single parent. One of my parents is mentally unstable (but not dangerous) and I feel like I am walking on eggshells all the time.

I could move out now and rent a place, but I would then have to use some of my savings that I am aiming to put towards a deposit. My income is low as I work part time. I can't work more as the childcare costs would then be too high and my salary won't cover it. If I continue to stay in my parents' house, I could buy a small flat in about 3 or 4 years time, but maybe at the expense of my wellbeing.

Just to add, my child's dad is out of the picture. No childcare and no maintenance. My child will need child care, specifically wrap around care for many years.

WWYD?

AIBU - Rent now even if you eat into your deposit.

YANBU - sit tight at your parenrs' house, save your deposit and buy a new home in 3 or 4 years.

You found great strength to leave one terrible relationship and you should do the same now. Savings are there for rainy days and this is a rainy day. The environment sounds toxic and you deserve an environment where you and your child can thrive.

Get out ASAP and rent for the sake of yourself and your child

You can't walk on eggshells for 3 or 4 years,, leave now for your child's sake.

Can you be brave and have a chat with them about how you are feeling. Better to stay there IF relationship can be mended

3-4 years is far too long to have to be miserable, it doesn't sound like a healthy situation for you or your child.

And please claim maintenance from the child’s father

Thank you for your replies and you are right about it being an unhealthy environment.

I have been worrying that I will never be able to afford a house if I use my savings now for rent and me and my child will live in rented accommodation forever (which is far more expensive than a mortgage). I am unlikely to be able to increase my pay for the next few years which means my savings will reduce year on year, even if we find cheap accommodation in a bad area. It also means another house move (we've had three in the last two years). I can't see a positive situation either way.

I'd love to but he doesn't have a job and isn't likely to get one.

You can’t buy and run a house on a part time wage so either rent or contact the council.

Given your circumstances, you will probably be entitled to help towards your housing costs. Speak to citizens advice or similar.

I stayed in a supremely unhealthy, toxic environment for as long as it took to save half my house deposit. It finally paid off, I have the house, and am very very VERY glad I didn't move and rent. I'd still be renting now. I wouldn't have this house. I'd never have been able to save a deposit for one.

I vote stick with it and get the house deposit. I know it's shitty, I've been there, but a few years of sacrifice for your own home? Well, it was worth it to me.

Allowing me to live with her rent free was one of the only good things my mother did for me or gave me. I'm glad I took advantage of the opportunity, doing so changed the entire trajectory of my life for the better.