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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how people can afford to live

100 replies

Member869894 · 10/04/2025 22:49

I've just been to lidl and am amazed at how expensive food has become. How do people on low incomes with children manage? When I was a single mum 15 years ago with little money i could still buy salmon and treats for my DCs. I'd not be able to buy thise now and I earn more

OP posts:
AHBM2022 · 12/04/2025 08:46

Augustus40 · 12/04/2025 08:09

Without jobs you cannot expect money.

If you’d read my previous comment you’d see my partner does have a job… and I’m too pregnant to work currently. So amazing comment from your end 😂

AHBM2022 · 12/04/2025 08:49

MellowPinkDeer · 12/04/2025 08:35

It amazes me that people in this situation go on to get pregnant. I had to plan my kids when I could afford them!

Remember your only one accident/problem away from being in my position ;) me and my partner were working when we got pregnant and financially secure, I couldn’t keep my job due to severe pregnancy sickness, he lost his job due to no longer being needed. We went from bringing in £3000 a month, to in a month, £470. Don’t judge people.

Some people get Rped and cannot abort
Some people get sick and cannot work
Ffs some people work and still can’t afford to survive!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 12/04/2025 08:49

REDB99 · 11/04/2025 05:50

It used to cost 50% of household incomes to buy food. Obviously much has changed and housing and childcare costs are now much higher. We have got used to having food available cheaply and this is no longer the case. Like people have said it’s about making choices of how to lower costs, it isn’t always easy but it can be done. I agree that the cost of some things are very high so I just don’t buy them.

I’m not sure it did. Not post war anyway.

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-42735294

John Lennon and Paul McCartney

How did households budget in 1957?

Housing took a much smaller share of incomes 60 years ago, but food and fashion cost more, says the ONS.

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-42735294

MellowPinkDeer · 12/04/2025 08:51

AHBM2022 · 12/04/2025 08:49

Remember your only one accident/problem away from being in my position ;) me and my partner were working when we got pregnant and financially secure, I couldn’t keep my job due to severe pregnancy sickness, he lost his job due to no longer being needed. We went from bringing in £3000 a month, to in a month, £470. Don’t judge people.

Some people get Rped and cannot abort
Some people get sick and cannot work
Ffs some people work and still can’t afford to survive!

I’m not anywhere close to ‘being in your position’ But ok.

AHBM2022 · 12/04/2025 09:43

MellowPinkDeer · 12/04/2025 08:51

I’m not anywhere close to ‘being in your position’ But ok.

My point was, you could very much be. You could get in an accident tonight that leaves you unable to work. Meaning you’d be like me, relying on benefits which fuckin sucks 🤷🏻‍♀️ get off your high horse, you look stupid up there.

Roseshavethorns · 12/04/2025 10:06

No matter how much or how little you have we are all having to pay much more than we are used to paying.
I have become an "ingredients house" like a pp. I have tried to stop buying snacks. If I buy something like a pack of hot cross buns we will have one each and the other 2 will go in the freezer. Before they would have been mindlessly eaten. Now it's a treat to be enjoyed.
I also take full advantage of supermarket offers (like the half price meat offers just now) but only the things we normally eat. I have stopped buying the luxuries that are a bargain because they are 10% off.
I started using a meat slicer too. Rather than have huge chunks of meat or cheese on a plate (I am dreadful at slicing anything), I have thinner slices. It looks better and it is amazing how much more you get out of a joint of meat.

Khaleesi90s · 12/04/2025 10:17

It’s not easy, every week my shopping bill is increasing. I’m a single mum of 2, carer for 1 of them and a part time uni student. I have now started working part time as a pet sitter/dog walker to help. I also have no luxuries for myself. I spend all money on the kids and the sperm donor very rarely contributes. A few years ago I was spending £70/80 a week on groceries, now it is more like £200. Unfortunately with the way things are in the world right now, things will only get worse and more expensive. Very glad I do not live in the US.

BoredZelda · 12/04/2025 10:20

Langdale3 · 11/04/2025 10:33

The cost of food has gone up across the board but is affecting people who cook a lot of veggie meals from scratch less than meat eaters who eat a lot of pre-prepared food.

I’m sure it also affects people who buy pre-prepared veggie meals, but not meat eaters who cook from scratch.

BoredZelda · 12/04/2025 10:30

HelenWheels · 12/04/2025 07:22

and yet the advice is the diet in the war years was the healthiest

Except many childhood health issues at the time stemmed from malnutrition. The simple statement that the diet was healthier, misses a whole load of other things that affected the health of the nation at the time. My mum was a child during the war and when I asked her about her memory of it she said “I was always hungry”

BoredZelda · 12/04/2025 11:00

OneLemonGuide · 11/04/2025 18:16

I’m not sure what the point of your post saying “we have two incomes, grown up kids, no mortgage and no car, and we have plenty thank you very much!” is other than to be a not-so-stealthy boast gloating at those who aren’t in your position!

The question by the OP said “how people can afford to live” This poster has answered that for their position, but that’s not an answer you like and think it is stealth boasting?

Depending on which statistics you look at, the estimates are that around 7.4 million are struggling to pay bills. That’s less than a quarter of UK adults. A further 10 million are managing, but vulnerable to more increases etc. That leaves half of the nation’s adults who are doing fine. This will not be believed by the users of MN because when posts like this come up, every single response is about how poorly off people are doing. The reason that’s the case is, when people like @Siloportemanswer in a way that shows how they are managing, they are accused of stealth boasting, or not reading the room etc. So Mumsnetters get a skewed view of how things actually are.

My household is two higher rate tax payers, and one disabled teenager. We can afford to live because we have jobs that pay us a good wage and we live quite modestly. That’s just a fact, not a stealth boast, nor is it passing judgement on others. I am well aware of the privileged position we are in, mainly because of the opportunities we’ve had, that others wouldn’t have had. We’re not from wealthy backgrounds but we had solid families and we both happen to be academically smart. Society is set up to benefit people like us. I don’t like that, but it’s another fact. I spend a lot of time trying to help people who haven’t had the opportunities we had, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re doing fine.

If this forum allowed people to be honest about that, rather than jumping on anyone who isn’t living hand to mouth, a more representative picture would be painted.

Augustus40 · 12/04/2025 11:12

My problem is my business. Not earning enough though my bills are very low. Am looking into another income option.

CherryBlossomPie · 12/04/2025 11:12

Aldi is killing it for me at the moment. Much better quality and reasonable.

suki1964 · 12/04/2025 11:14

DeafLeppard · 12/04/2025 07:38

I find Aldi at least £20 cheaper per week than Tesco.

What is interesting is that we have my mum staying with us this week. I’ve been making an effort to dish up at the table rather than shovel stuff on plates by the hob, and meals that previously just about did 4 of us are easily going 5 ways with leftovers, as I tend to put less on each plate if I’m dishing up at the table. No idea why!

Tell you another "hack"

On the rare occasion we do succumb to a Chinese takeaway, we get a box meal each - you know a dish and either rice or noodles in the same box - if I was to eat from the box I eat the whole lot ( and suffer greatly for it ) If I get a plate and put on it what I think looks like a decent greedy amount, Ill not finish what's on the plate , will have eaten my fill , and there will be enough left in the box to do a mid week lunch

LadyKenya · 12/04/2025 12:58

HelenWheels · 12/04/2025 07:21

i think salmon expensive

Yes, but there are lots of other fish to choose from, such as mackerel, hake, coley, which are quite reasonably priced.

Siloportem · 12/04/2025 13:58

OneLemonGuide · 11/04/2025 18:16

I’m not sure what the point of your post saying “we have two incomes, grown up kids, no mortgage and no car, and we have plenty thank you very much!” is other than to be a not-so-stealthy boast gloating at those who aren’t in your position!

🙄It's an answer (note AN answer, not THE answer) to the question in the title about how people can afford to live. It's called a conversation. But this is MN, so of course somebody pops up and twists a perfectly innocuous contribution to the worst possible interpretation. I mentioned in a subsequent post that I'm very aware of how hard things are for people who rent (and this was me too for most of my adult life, including when the kids were small, when we were on one income and sometimes not even that).

Here, I'll do you a little precis, since you are finding it hard to understand.

OP - how can people afford to live
Me - housing costs and childcare are expensive, so people who don't have those for whatever reason can afford to live

Siloportem · 12/04/2025 14:02

Thanks @BoredZelda , just scrolled up and saw you explained that very well

Nsky62 · 12/04/2025 18:34

It’s worth adding since I ditched Tesco online, don’t drive due to health reasons ( Parkinson’s), my friend picks up Aldi cat food, his preferred choice, then I spend £10 in butchers. My local small Lidl next to bus stop.
Only been this month, spending a fair bit less, and buy my eco cleaning stuff Online

thisgal · 13/04/2025 12:10

Opinions please
Husband works away stays in nice hotels , pools etc , work socials and meals in week , two children aged 11 and 17 .
Husband home at weekends . Goes out on Saturday mornings for a few hours to get some exercise.
Yesterday went out at 7am , said be back at 12 . I'm at home with children . Something came up in afternoon that I would liked to have popped into for a few hours

Tried to call husband didn't answer , he came back at 3 and I was very angry thst he didn't come home on time or let me know he would be late so I could let my sister know .

Should I have been angry or accept that because he works away , I hadn't shared plans that it was ok for him to not let me know

suki1964 · 13/04/2025 23:02

@thisgal , I think you need to make your own thread, its not going to be seen here

Lipglosser · 16/10/2025 09:50

Feel really bad for the next generation below us
my nephew just bought his first house late 20s and it’s 350k for just basic 2 bed house
I dread to think of the repayments
Let alone when you add up how much food and just living is these days

it was so much easier in the late 90 early 2000s

PassingStranger · 16/10/2025 10:29

Do the people who say they struggle to buy food have expensive mobile phone contacts?

QforCucumber · 16/10/2025 11:10

@Siloportem we live in a very cheap area in the NE, but still our mortgage has just increased from £738 to £985 a month, there's still another 20 years to go on it too. That £250 a month used to be on childcare but thankfully smallest one now in FT school.

Mortgage 500/985
Gas and electric 150/150
Council tax 180/235
Water 60/60
Vodafone broadband 80/60
TV license 13
Phone contracts 50

the issue we have is on top of these we also pay out for

Wraparound care £120
Kids swim lessons, dinner money and karate £200
Kids savings £100 (£50 each per month)
Life insurance £50
Home insurance £40
Pet insurance £40
Commuting £150 (fuel)

current food budget is £500 a month but going to have to increase that looking at the last 3 months to around £700.

I feel like i'm spending more and more and also more often, this might be also because the kids are older and eating more now than ever but just never feel like the fridge is full, we've gone from £40-50 twice a week to £80-90 twice a week easily. plus top ups.

JacknDiane · 16/10/2025 11:29

Im finding aldi and lidl are still cheaper than say, asda

Anthempart2 · 16/10/2025 11:33

Honestly I think the reason people are spending a fortune on their weekly food shop is because they are so meat reliant. Most people I know have meat for every single meal and then again at lunch (ham sandwiches etc). Not only is it really bad for you it’s horribly expensive. We only need to eat it a few times a week.

BubblyBath178 · 16/10/2025 11:37

We’re affording it but only because DH has just had a large payrise. We’ve decided to keep living on his ‘old’ salary (plus mine) and pretend the new money doesn’t exist. We’re just going to use the extra to build up savings and pay off debts we’ve accrued. I know we’re lucky to be able to do that but we need to get the debts down as we’ll be remortgaging in 14 months and I’m kind of dreading it. I thought we were going to be able to ride out the storm but now I’m not so sure 😢

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