To wonder whether lack of tolerance for mess is an ND trait?

[NW3Lady]

I don’t just mean that I like my house to be tidy. I mean I actually struggle to function when it’s not. Mess overwhelms me.

I always assumed I was BU but it’s now suddenly occurred to me that perhaps this is an aspect of neurodiversity and that it’s to do with how my brain is wired. Has anyone ever heard of this as an ND trait?

I have hf autism and have always kept my home immaculately clean and tidy. Even inside cupboards and drawers are ordered and organised.
I can’t tolerate disorder at all although it doesn’t bother me in other people’s homes if I’m a visitor.
However, I am also diagnosed with OCD and I believe a significant percentage of people with autism share this diagnosis so it could be either or both of these conditions which prompts extreme tidiness.

I'm not saying this isn't ever a ND trait. But my husband is ND and will make and leave mess. I on the other hand (ND as far as we know!), can't stand mess, and like you it overwhelms me. It's one of the main struggles of our relationship!

One or two traits does not autism make.

I think it is. Obviously not all ND people. The mess is triggering and overwhelming to some autistic brains just like to much noise or crowds is. Easy for someone to say "oh I'm NT and I'd exactly the same" but people say that about anything that autistic people ever find triggering. The utterly paralysing, overwhelming emotional reaction my autistic daughter has to mess featured in her autism assessment, shall we say. And it's a huge problem when she finds it so impossible to tidy, or to keep things tidy.

Ultimately we all have to find a way forward whether ND or NT. If it's a paralysing problem then you need a solution, and an autism diagnosis is not a solution. Still working on that bit.

yes absolutely.