Large age gaps with children?

[Preachscreen]

So I have a 13 year old with my partner and I'm at a point where the likelihood of having another child is becoming slimmer due to age. I'm worried she is on her own, she has never minded this. I did want another but it never happened (miscarriage during that time) and we have not tried too purposely have another 'see what happens approach' but clock is ticking and I'm worried ill regret this. But the cost of childcare is incredibly scary these days and we are at a point where we are comfortable with affording daily life. There is also the point where I am reaching the 40 side where I thunk have I got energy for this?? Any advice :)

Only you can decide. I have a large gap between my oldest and youngest and although I wouldn't change it now, I do have moments where I think I would be living a simple life now enjoying my weekends. I am so much more tired than I was with the older ones. Holidays and days out aren't as straightforward because entertaining a toddler and a teenager is difficult, they have very different interests. In terms of the finances, I'm looking at accommodation fees for uni for my oldest and it's looking like I will need to subsidise him quite a lot!
As I say though, I wouldn't change it. Youngest has brought us a lot of joy but if I was to write up pros and cons there would be more cons.

I have a big gap - DC1 is 16 and the younger two (different dad) are 6 and 3.

It's nice because DC1 is more independent and of course understands that babies/toddlers need a lot of input. Lots of people joked about him being a built in babysitter but we have only really asked him to babysit about twice in the last year or so.

In general I always wanted to have more DC and I am glad that we did it. I absolutely loved going back to the pregnancy/baby/toddler years. The downside is that teen needs and baby/toddler needs are so opposite - we can spend an age getting the younger ones down and then want to breathe a sigh of relief and chill out and it's exactly the time of day the teenager wants to come and connect or needs a lift or whatever. So it's full on. Secondary school stuff (esp once you get to 6th form/uni stuff) is also really not set up with the assumption that you'll have very young children around.

The younger two and older one don't really have a typical "sibling" relationship - they see him as a sort of extra to our family because they are spending every waking moment with whichever one of us is home whereas he spends a lot of time in his room, at school, or out with friends. He will play with them occasionally which they love but it's not an everyday thing.

Did you go for a second op?