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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Taking child out of school

10 replies

Tulippilut · 10/04/2025 19:45

Ex wants to take DD on holiday for a week during the last few weeks of term. She’s in year 6.

Previously , her attendance was low enough to be called into school for a meeting and told I had to provide evidence for every absence ( long story here , I did not keep her off , ex would keep her off for every ache and pain. He does school runs due to my work. If school called because she told them she felt poorly, he would go and collect her. I had to tell school to only call me about it and if they couldn’t get hold of me , only call him if THEY believed she needed to go home. My other children have 100% attendance , I’m very strict. She also missed time for a holiday and a long weekend with him ) attendance this year is almost 100% .

He has taken her on amazing holidays that I cannot afford , and she will love this holiday. But he told her, before he spoke to me , so now if I say no it’s all on me. He argues after sats they won’t be doing anything important .

I feel pushed into a corner . I don’t want her let down. He has said he will pay any fines but I wanted to know the likelihood of anything more than a fine? I know we haven’t been fined before and they don’t know about the previous holidays but because i have had to go in for official meetings about her attendance ?

Also, I know this may be an overreaction, but if prosecuted would that go on a DBS ? My job requires an enhanced DBS . I work a mid - senior level job in education .

OP posts:
fleetoriginal · 10/04/2025 19:51

She will miss all the leavers events which would be a shame…

MellersSmellers · 10/04/2025 19:57

I would be torn. Academically, there's nothing happening then, but there may be a whole host of leavers events or days out or, at the very least, a chance to say goodbye to the classmates that aren't going to the same school. She might not realise this.
In addition, I would expect you as someone "in a mid-senior level position in education" to support the school/national policy not to take time out during term time 😉

LittleHangleton · 10/04/2025 20:28

I'm a secondary attendance lead.

You and child's father will (probably) get a fine. Its no big deal, just pay it and move on. £80 each if you pay within 21 days, £160 each if you pay 21-28 days.

Assuming this is your first attendance fine, as long s you pay before 28 days then it won't affect anything. Won't be on a DBS or anything like that.

The following could result in more sig outcomes and may show on an enhanced DSB:

  • not paying the penalty notice with 28 days means it then goes to court.
  • receiving a third attendance fine within 3 years. This goes directly to court.
  • if child's attendance is already very low (<50% ish) with longstanding low attendance when putting in first fine. LA may decide its too bad for a penalty notice and most go directly to court even for first fine.
Tulippilut · 10/04/2025 20:28

MellersSmellers · 10/04/2025 19:57

I would be torn. Academically, there's nothing happening then, but there may be a whole host of leavers events or days out or, at the very least, a chance to say goodbye to the classmates that aren't going to the same school. She might not realise this.
In addition, I would expect you as someone "in a mid-senior level position in education" to support the school/national policy not to take time out during term time 😉

If it were mid year , I would be saying a hard no. I know too well how missing a week can have an impact, I’m an ex teacher. However, I know she won’t be missing anything academically.

I do have concerns over missing leavers things as she isn’t going to a new school with any of her friends, aside from 1 . Dad has said he will check first, but there could be things that we don’t know about that will happen .

OP posts:
Tulippilut · 10/04/2025 20:30

LittleHangleton · 10/04/2025 20:28

I'm a secondary attendance lead.

You and child's father will (probably) get a fine. Its no big deal, just pay it and move on. £80 each if you pay within 21 days, £160 each if you pay 21-28 days.

Assuming this is your first attendance fine, as long s you pay before 28 days then it won't affect anything. Won't be on a DBS or anything like that.

The following could result in more sig outcomes and may show on an enhanced DSB:

  • not paying the penalty notice with 28 days means it then goes to court.
  • receiving a third attendance fine within 3 years. This goes directly to court.
  • if child's attendance is already very low (<50% ish) with longstanding low attendance when putting in first fine. LA may decide its too bad for a penalty notice and most go directly to court even for first fine.

Thank you so much.

Attendance was never lower than 50% , it was in the 80s and this year she has got to be close to 100 as she has only missed a few days to a scheduled procedure

OP posts:
Tulippilut · 10/04/2025 20:31

fleetoriginal · 10/04/2025 19:51

She will miss all the leavers events which would be a shame…

This is one of my concerns , it’s a lovely time and an opportunity to make memories before she leaves her friends

OP posts:
staybyyou · 10/04/2025 20:35

I would let her go. Or give her the choice, explaining what she might miss. But then again I am really against fines for taking children out for holidays, or any valid family events to be honest.

MrsAvocet · 10/04/2025 20:54

I'm normally firmly against taking kids out of school for holidays but after SATs in year 6 is the one time I think it really doesn't matter. If your DD wants to go even though she understands she'll miss some social stuff I'd let her. Just make sure she doesn't miss any induction days or other transition activities at her new school - that's the only really important thing that I can recall happening in the last few weeks of year 6.

goodnightssleepbenice · 10/04/2025 20:58

I have took my kids out for holidays but wouldn’t miss the last week of year 6

Tulippilut · 10/04/2025 21:32

goodnightssleepbenice · 10/04/2025 20:58

I have took my kids out for holidays but wouldn’t miss the last week of year 6

It’s not the last week, it will be in the last few weeks , likely June .

OP posts:
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