My baby has been bitten hard at nursery

[Evaa9]

My baby (10 months) has been bitten hard by an older baby at nursery. She has a huge, deep, purple bite mark on her hand. Would you take your baby out if this happened? I don’t know how they have let this happen and apparently the child has done this before.

Is she in a baby room where they are all under a year?

Gosh these things happen, one day your child may be the biter.
sometimes they are so fast and it’s unavoidable. To pull your child out is a massive over reaction.
Ofcourse check in with them and ask that they increase supervision while the child is in this phase ( which a decent nursery will be about to already).
@Allseeingallknowing why would they need to take photos?!

One of my DC was a biter and it was very difficult to predict (and therefore prevent), they were like a little snake - calm and placid one second then a sudden lunge and bite. Everyone just had to do their best to try intercede before then but it was a process of hyper-supervision, trial and error until we all worked out their triggers which made it easier to anticipate when a bite could potentially happen, and a few did slip through the net.

They grow out of it as their language skills improve and they get better at handling big feelings without resorting to physicality.

YABU to refer to a preschool child as a "little shit"

I think that’s shocking at 10 months tbh. They should have been watching more closely.

Mine was bitten on the face recently, so hard it bled!

Nursery were very apologetic and have taken steps to monitor the biter more closely. My DD still talks about ‘biting boy’ and staying away from him but hasn’t been bothered other than that.

Embarrasingly my other child was the biter. I think that was worse!

Wouldn’t usually but this was awful awful. He held my son down on the ground while he bit him. Bit multiple children regularly, my son 3 times (I didn’t mind so much about the finger bites or whatever) I stand by calling him a little shit.

I wouldn't unless they were a LOT older.

This could happen at any toddler group OP. Children are quick and I've seen lots of kids hurt another even when they're being very well supervised.

My two never bit anyone or each other.

No, you shouldn't take her out. Biting happens with babies and toddlers. I doubt there is any nursery that hasn't had an incident of biting.

Oh it’s horrible when they’re bitten but I was so relieved mine was bitten rather than the biter! That probably makes me a bad Mum but there we are. Youngest DC is 8 now and friends with the little boy who bit her at the child minder. The other Mum was distraught her son bit my child but it happens even when well supervised.

You wouldn't believe how quickly a biter can act. I came across a lot of them in my special school classes. I could be standing next to them, sitting next to them, holding their hand even, and in a split second they'd act. It's quicker than anything like a hit or a kick. The only option is to completely isolate them from all other children, all day and you just can't do that in a nursery.

Unfortunately it happens OP, babies and toddlers bite, it is unfortunate but it is what it is. It literally takes seconds for it to happen and for a mark to be left so even if the staff saw it happen by the time they would’ve been able to react it would’ve already happened. My sons have both been bitten a few times at nursery, I never considered removing them because of normal toddler behaviour. Although neither of my boys have bit anyone at nursery, my
eldest went through a phase of biting me and DH and my youngest went through a phase of biting his older brother….both of them outgrew the phase within a few weeks luckily.

10 months is very early for that to happen and if find it concerning a 10 month old was around (I assume) toddlers who could bite them. Without knowing if it’s a family daycare or a nursery setup it’s hard to know the cause/likeliness of it recurring. My one year old got bitten a few times, by age 2 she was the biter. When she was bitten I felt bad but was relieved she wasn’t doing it to others. That changed fast, and then she was the biter and I felt mortified. That nursery was feral. When we moved her age 3 it stopped overnight. Some of them do it more than others. They fortunately outgrow it. We read hands are not for hitting and teeth are not for biting more times than I can think.

Good for you...?

My youngest was a bitter, I covered my arm on English mustard one day, literally like moisturiser. He didn't do it again!

She only started at the nursery last week. The child apparently has done it before and has SEN and they’ve said ‘they are working on him’

Mine did as a toddler before his language and impulse control developed. He even bit his best friend then cried because he had hurt him...

He's a fairly normal child now!

OP - are nursery are taking steps to monitor and closely supervise the biter? This could happen in any setting you choose

That is really quite normal. It is challenging for staff to stop it and doesn’t at all mean they aren’t being vigilant. I’d show you’re upset and ask you understand as a one off but what procedures they have in place to make sure it doesn’t happen again. It may well happen again, but shouldn’t happen repeatedly.

How old is the other child, what's the age range in the room?

This is why mine with with a very experienced childminder when they were this age with 1/1 or 1/2 care. Nurseries are a bear pit.

Yes I would take DC out of the nursery.
Not because another child with SEN bit them, but because the nursery lied to you about the bite. After one week the trust is already broken. I’d be finding somewhere else.

I'd never send her again for the lying alone.

But then, I am very anti-nursery so that would be my advice anyway.

So, if the biter has identified SEN already then you aren’t looking another “baby” you are looking at an older child. I think it is appalling that this has happened to a baby - can your child even walk?!

This isn’t a bit of a skirmish between toddlers, fighting over a toy and the kind of things toddlers do. I do have a few DC and they have been hit, once bitten, when in the preschool rooms at nursery - the huge difference is that they were preschool rooms... This is a vulnerable baby who should be closely supervised, and they let an older known biter close enough to get to her! I’ve never known a nursery that didn’t have a separate baby room.

Someone said this could happen at any toddler group - I have been to many toddler groups in my time and I have never seen a young baby injured by another child. They should have taken photos and taken this much more seriously than they have done.

Have a chat with the nursery and ask them how they intend to keep your daughter safe and better supervise the biter. Take pictures of the bite and insist that the incident is recorded in writing in their accident book or log. If you put your concerns in writing it has to be documented in their files for an Ofsted inspectio. At least then you know it is documented should any further incidents occur