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AIBU?

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Original poster

Overwhelmed.... I don't know why

21 replies

shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 18:05

Its my sons 17th birthday bash. Hes got a couple of friends round, his brother and dad around. They are all playing cards against humanity. Just feel totally overwhelmed. All I want is a cup of tea, peace and quiet. What the hell is wrong with me??? 😔

OP posts:
CountFucula · 10/04/2025 18:07

It’s his birthday… not about you.

pearbottomjeans · 10/04/2025 18:08

Why not go out? Get some peace and quiet in nature or go for dinner by yourself somewhere. Go to the cinema for some alone time. Take your cup of tea with you!

lnks · 10/04/2025 18:09

There Is nothing wrong with you. It’s not always easy to have house guests. I find it exhausting no matter how much I like the person. It’s having to be ‘on’ all the time.

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 10/04/2025 18:10

I get like that sometimes. I think I'm so used to my house being quiet and fairly empty that when I have people over it can be a bit of a shock to the system.
I'd go upstairs for a while and have a sit down/deep breath. Or go for a quick walk (perhaps say you are popping to the shop for something?).

Backagainformorepunishment · 10/04/2025 18:31

CountFucula · 10/04/2025 18:07

It’s his birthday… not about you.

Why be so unpleasant?
Everybody has a different capacity for coping with situations.
OP is hosting his birthday bash so it's not as if she is depriving him of his celebration.
She is entitled to feel how she feels.

CountFucula · 10/04/2025 18:34

Yes, sorry I didn’t mean to be unpleasant - I often feel overwhelmed, it helps me to remember that it’s not about me to get perspective on stuff.

GarlicSmile · 10/04/2025 18:39

I've only had this once but it was awful! I went into a full-blown panic attack. Luckily we'd just had a Chinese takeaway, so I blamed the monosodium glutamate. Very unfair to a harmless and useful flavour enhancer, but better than telling my own guests I couldn't stand having them in my flat!

Agree with going for a bit of a walk. It's a beautiful evening.

suki1964 · 10/04/2025 18:49

If he's 17, Im kind of guessing you are peri menopause and you know what? Nothing makes sense going through that

Just accept that this is how you feel right now, and work on a strategy to make things easier. Luckily I had a dog - he got walked a lot. For you you might have to pop to the shop - and wander down the home decor aisles or have a friend who needs to borrow something right now - and you just go sit in the car ( obviously not outside the front door )

Just remove yourself , take some you time, and it will be ok

Watermill · 10/04/2025 18:52

Dog walk?

Go to shops for emergency supplies?

Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 21:13

@suki1964 I'm past the menopause now. I sat upstairs for a few minutes and hugged the cat. Thank you for your kind words though x

OP posts:
Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 21:15

Thank you to everyone that replied. I'm just used to rattling round on my own mainly as my sons are at College or out socialising. Back to normal now ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 21:16

@inks thats exactly how it feels. Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 21:17

@CountFucula I'm just feeling overwhelmed having a houseful of people. Not used to it x

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 10/04/2025 21:35

CountFucula · 10/04/2025 18:34

Yes, sorry I didn’t mean to be unpleasant - I often feel overwhelmed, it helps me to remember that it’s not about me to get perspective on stuff.

I second this approach , I often feel anxious and overwhelmed especially if it’s something related to DD so I repeat myself quietly: it’s not about you. And it helps.

OP is it about having a party in your house or is it about realisation how grown up is your DS?

pimplebum · 10/04/2025 21:39

That’s why I prefer to go to others then I can leave when I’ve had enough

violetsorrengail · 10/04/2025 21:41

It's his birthday, don't ruin it for him. Take yourself aside or to bed, he probably won't notice anyway

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 10/04/2025 21:48

Buy a few pizzas and have a couple of bin bags on hand. They want their friends on their birthday, not their parents, at that age. Job done.

doneandone · 10/04/2025 21:57

I always feel anxious during my dcs birthday parties, no idea why, I'm watching the clock waiting for everyone to go as I find it so overwhelming. I don't let them see this though.

Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 22:02

@pizzaHeart he's just got two best friiends, his dad said brother here. As pp have said its just having to be on all the time. I'm used to it being just the three of us

OP posts:
suki1964 · 10/04/2025 22:19

shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 21:13

@suki1964 I'm past the menopause now. I sat upstairs for a few minutes and hugged the cat. Thank you for your kind words though x

Cat hugging works as well

You know peri menopause for me was a learning curve, I fell apart at menopause. Peri - I might have had the odd tears fall from no where or get in a huge rage just for waking. But meno - omg - I actually went for Alzheimers testing. Totally lost myself. I couldn't cope with anything. Scared to drive, scared to leave the house, anxiety was through the roof. Totally felt I had lost the plot, that I had just landed on this planet and didn't know how it worked

Do what you have to do to get through - whatever the scenario . We are older, we use the excuse - as does everyone else - its an age thing - work that to your advantage

I love the freedom that age gives me , allows me to be that grumpy old woman. Im not grumpy, I just no longer accept situations Im not comfortable in

Love to you xx

Original poster
shellyleppard · 10/04/2025 22:55

@suki1964 sending hugs and solidarity 🫂🌺❤️💐

OP posts:
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