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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things you remember from your childhood that would not be ok today!

577 replies

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 14:18

Light-hearted and inspired by the comments on the baby in the pub thread (and TikTok!)😀

But what are things you remember from your childhood that people would be absolutely outraged at today?!

I remember being babysat by our neighbours child when I was 4/5 and she was about 12/13. God knows what she would have done if anything went wrong as there were no mobile phones to get hold of our parents?! 🤔

Also remember going to the pub in the summer but kids weren't allowed inside so we sat in the beer garden with a coca cola and bag of crisps whilst the adults were inside 😂

OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 10/04/2025 15:02

Born in 1965 so too many to mention but one my GC's don't believe is from aged about 7, lighting a fag and passing it to my mum whilst she was driving

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:03

Justcallmebebes · 10/04/2025 15:02

Born in 1965 so too many to mention but one my GC's don't believe is from aged about 7, lighting a fag and passing it to my mum whilst she was driving

And holding it for her whilst she parked 😂

OP posts:
Wildflowers99 · 10/04/2025 15:03

I just remember most things being about my parents enjoyment, with the odd treat for us. Whereas it seems the other way round now. As kids we were regularly taken to pubs, their friends houses for the evening (adults getting on the beers while we ran around screaming with the other couples kids till midnight), garden centres, church. Whereas now everything is expected to be a child friendly or child centric experience, with adults getting the odd ‘treat’ once in a blue moon when they can get a babysitter. It’s just totally different.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 10/04/2025 15:04

I was genuinely surprised when speaking to someone whose child attends my old primary school when they said it was a shame they had so little outdoor space for play. Surely, I said, they still use the village green next door at lunchtime? Apparently no, it is no longer considered ok for a school's worth of kids to play in a public, unfenced green which has the main road into the village at one end and a very deep pond at the other - who knew?!

Wildflowers99 · 10/04/2025 15:04

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:03

And holding it for her whilst she parked 😂

Omg yes the smoking! Both parents smoked, inside, in the car, everything stank. I hated it!

user2848502016 · 10/04/2025 15:04

Myself, brothers and cousins all sitting in the back seat of our grandparents car with no seatbelts, just the older ones holding the smallest ones on our laps!
One of my cousins also liked riding in the boot sometimes pretending to be the dog 😂🫣

AlphaRadiationIsHeliumNuclei · 10/04/2025 15:05

Being smacked hard on my legs by my mother.

One particular incident I remember was being smacked, aged 5, for not doing a whole page of writing at school the day before. She was doing my hair at the time so I couldn't get away. Still gives me chills.

Twinkletoes10 · 10/04/2025 15:06

While at school we had to do one week of work experience. I had mine in a creche for a week aged 16. No childcare qualifications. Left alone with all the babies and children while the only other worker went on lunch or break. This was in the early 2000s so not even that long ago!

Also babysat from age 12, luckily nothing serious ever happened as I wouldn't have had a phone to contact anyone! 😲

Rosabloo · 10/04/2025 15:07

Being taken to the beach with my siblings and left there all day

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 10/04/2025 15:07

Wildflowers99 · 10/04/2025 15:03

I just remember most things being about my parents enjoyment, with the odd treat for us. Whereas it seems the other way round now. As kids we were regularly taken to pubs, their friends houses for the evening (adults getting on the beers while we ran around screaming with the other couples kids till midnight), garden centres, church. Whereas now everything is expected to be a child friendly or child centric experience, with adults getting the odd ‘treat’ once in a blue moon when they can get a babysitter. It’s just totally different.

I may be parenting wrong, but we take our kids to friends' houses where they run around like mad while we chat and have wine, we take them to church, to garden centres. We have a pub near us that has a load of space the kids can run around in outside without disturbing anyone using the tables, so we quite regularly go there in nice weather and we have a pint each and they have an orange juice and run about... I think this is all normal, isn't it?!

Idontknowhatnametochoose · 10/04/2025 15:08

Sitting on my sisters lap in the car with no seatbelts as there weren't any.

Playing down a field miles from home at age ten and crossing the railway line

Being left at home alone age 12 while my mum worked evening shifts in a shop.

user2848502016 · 10/04/2025 15:08

Sebsaloysius · 10/04/2025 14:55

Having the blackboard rubber hurled at us unruly or disruptive kids in Mr Perkin's chemistry class. His aim was scarily good, too.

My chemistry teacher must have been soft, he only chucked bits of chalk at us 😂

maxelly · 10/04/2025 15:09

So much, I'm proper old and even 1/10th of what was completely standard in a 60s/70s rural childhood would horrify the youngsters of today. It was in many ways a gentler, more naive time, the pace of change happening in cities was very slow to catch on and it was a bit frozen in an earlier time. Everyone knew everyone and everyone was to be trusted implicitly. The community as a whole looked out for the kids, and it was generally assumed everything should just carry on as it always had and everything always work out fine, people didn't worry nearly as much as they did today. But I'm not oblivious to how risky and dangerous that could be at times and I think we're bloody lucky that (as far as I know) no child was seriously hurt or killed in our village/area. Mostly it was a total lack of parental supervision on a daily basis - from the age of about 4 we were pushed out the back door to roam the villages, fields and local farms as a gang of kids, often staying out all day, casually wandering around farm machinery, slurry pits and so on. We'd go swimming in the local river or ponds completely oblivious to any risk of drowning. Our parents had no idea where we were and no phones to get in touch if there was a problem. If there was a toddler younger sibling you were usually made to bring them out too, since we quite naturally found them a drag they'd often be dumped somewhere along the way like a neighbour's lawn with some toys or put down somewhere to nap and we'd go off to play and pick them up later, or someone else would direct them home Blush.

Small thing but I don't remember us ever drinking water, when today's kids are surgically attached to their water bottles and younger parents seem borderline obsessed with getting them to drink, we'd maybe have a cup of weak milky tea in the morning and another with meals, sometimes squash but this was a treat (and fizzy pop an even greater treat), but we'd run around all day long on a hot summer's day with no fluid intake at all? Perhaps I'm misremembering, I did sometimes put my head under the yard tap if I was really thirsty (the water was probably filthy 😱) and I do remember the other kids used to faint quite a lot so maybe that was the dehydration? We also definitely never wore sunscreen, I don't think we would even have known what it was, suntan oil was available to enhance how much you scorched off your skin cells but otherwise you just turned bright red and/or got sunstroke !

We had ponies (not as posh as it sounds, back then you could pick up a hairy bog pony for pennies and it could live for very little £ in a farmers spare field or barn) and our safety practices were poor to non existent and again very minimal adult supervision, we use to tare around the place with no saddles, no hats, sometimes no proper bridle or a bridle/headcollar held together with string. If someone's dad agreed to drive us and our ponies out to a further away competition or PC rally in his farm trailer or horse box we'd all ride in the back with the ponies (no seats never mind seatbelts) which is a bit Shock , we'd have been toast if he crashed. At least the roads/lanes were significantly quieter then although driving standards generally quite low and the acceptability of drink driving very high! When we hacked over to pony club rallies we were taught what was what by the terrifying DC and licked into very smart shape but as soon as we were back home I'm afraid wild ways resumed fairly quickly. Not what the thread is about but I'm also retrospectively a bit ashamed of our standard of care of the ponies and some of the other animals, we loved them deeply but were clueless by today's standards and did things that were unacceptable today e.g. using the same badly fitting saddle on multiple ponies padded out with saddle cloths, never rugged or brought them inside in winter no matter the weather (we did trek up in 6 inch snow and dark to break the ice on their water troughs and put hay down every single day though), didn't worm them, vaccinate them or give them ulcer or joint supplements that are de rigeur today... other girls in the village had pet rabbits or guinea pigs and they lived in tiny wooden hutches and were rarely brought out which is Sad .

Safeguarding was not a concept that had been invented and there were a number of very creepy characters around who were simply regarded as eccentric or with amused tolerance, it was well known for instance that one of the grooms/farm hands where we kept the ponies liked to creep up on little girls in the hay barn or other dark corners and touch their legs and bums, we simply just didn't go in the haybarn alone or if he was around - no thought of telling anyone or reporting him or anything Confused . Another old man in the village would try and get the kids to go into his house with all promises of cake and sweets and so on and for some reason this was thought to be very funny and the subject of 'dares' to see how far you could push it with him before running away shrieking and so on - no idea if he was actually a predator or just sad/lonely/neurodiverse , no-one thought in those terms, again sad really that people were just written off as 'weird' and no further questions asked. In fact there was a massive, massive lack of tolerance of anyone even a bit 'different', homophobia and racism were rife, very little understanding of disability or mental health and these were generally felt to be very shameful things to be hidden away.

On the whole I think we have it better today than then even if sometimes I do get overwhelmed with enormous nostalgia!

mondaytosunday · 10/04/2025 15:09

Sleeping on the ledge in the back of the car, not wearing seatbelts. Going out of an afternoon and just told to be home in time for supper. I flew on my own at 14 international flight and then had to take the train to final destination, not sure that would go down well today. My cousin says she was put on a train at six years old on her own and was met at the other end. All this in the 60s-70s.
My DH was left home alone at age five in charge of his two year old brother regularly when his parents went out in the evening.

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:11

Wildflowers99 · 10/04/2025 15:03

I just remember most things being about my parents enjoyment, with the odd treat for us. Whereas it seems the other way round now. As kids we were regularly taken to pubs, their friends houses for the evening (adults getting on the beers while we ran around screaming with the other couples kids till midnight), garden centres, church. Whereas now everything is expected to be a child friendly or child centric experience, with adults getting the odd ‘treat’ once in a blue moon when they can get a babysitter. It’s just totally different.

Absolutely!!! We had one 2 week holiday a year (in the UK - most likely on a caravan site), the rest of school holidays we entertained ourselves whilst our parents were at work!

The only times we went to museums were on school trips and there was no such thing as play / activity centres, climbing walls, bounce parks....

OP posts:
StanfreyPock · 10/04/2025 15:12

I remember flying off a roundabout in a park aged 4 and cracking my head open on the concrete and I got a bollocking from my dad for not holding on properly

Exactly the same happened to me, except it was my mum who gave me a row for crying 😢 I still have a dent in my hairline.

Eating fried bread with tomato ketchup for breakfast...

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:12

I've also just remembered about ringing my mums place of work during the school holidays if ever I needed anything! Her boss would answer and I would have to ask to speak to my mum please and then ask her a completely mundane question like could I have some money from the change jar to go to the shop 😂

OP posts:
PlumKetchup · 10/04/2025 15:15

No seat belts/child seats in cars.
Teachers throwing board rubbers at kids for talking.
Kids allowed to buy cigarettes.
Teachers having relationships with sixth formers.
This was when I was at school in the 1970s/80s.

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:16

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 10/04/2025 15:07

I may be parenting wrong, but we take our kids to friends' houses where they run around like mad while we chat and have wine, we take them to church, to garden centres. We have a pub near us that has a load of space the kids can run around in outside without disturbing anyone using the tables, so we quite regularly go there in nice weather and we have a pint each and they have an orange juice and run about... I think this is all normal, isn't it?!

I think @Wildflowers99's point was that everything was centred around the adults and kids just had to entertain themselves.

These days it's more "we'll take the kids to Harry Potter world / cinema / trampoline parks" etc etc and parents sacrifice much more for their kids social life and being "well rounded" whereas we were just dragged along to adult events regardless of whether they were appropriate for kids or not 😂

OP posts:
AlisounOfBath · 10/04/2025 15:19

Getting smacked by a ballet teacher (1991). Playing out with friends in an abandoned building. Jumping off straw bales piled up in a barn.

Vodkamartini3olives · 10/04/2025 15:19

Late 70's our primary school headmaster had a sporty convertible. On your birthday, you got to go for a ride around the block with the top-down.

user1492757084 · 10/04/2025 15:23

On school camp we would ring home for free by phoning the secret number directly to our friend's mother who worked on the local telephone exchange.

Xcellentaligat · 10/04/2025 15:25

No seat belts in the car and dad smoking in the car.

Candlekiax · 10/04/2025 15:28

I remember being 3/4 and my mum or dad putting two chairs together for me to lay across in the pub and putting a coat over me so I could sleep, it was summer and dark so likely very late.

Being clipped round the ear or locked in a room for being a little shit.

No seatbelts, booster seats or anything in the car growing up, often laying across the back seats on long journeys to stretch my legs out.

Going out at 8am with friends and being told "Be home before dark". I lived in Kent as a child and could easily have gone to France and back without my parents knowing about it.

maxelly · 10/04/2025 15:30

Starlight1984 · 10/04/2025 15:16

I think @Wildflowers99's point was that everything was centred around the adults and kids just had to entertain themselves.

These days it's more "we'll take the kids to Harry Potter world / cinema / trampoline parks" etc etc and parents sacrifice much more for their kids social life and being "well rounded" whereas we were just dragged along to adult events regardless of whether they were appropriate for kids or not 😂

Yes on the budget threads I see so many mums in despair and tearing their hair out because they can't make the budget stretch to days out for the kids and holidays. On the thread with the autistic mum yesterday people were berating her saying she was cruel to her kids for not giving them 'life experiences' of beach holidays and so on. The primary age kids I know are forever being taken to family farms, sport/activity centres, national trust, art and craft classes, theme parks and so on, at least one of these every school holidays, sometimes something every single day in the holidays and then usually a foreign holiday once or twice a year too. I completely get why mums feel as though these are essential as this is standard now and also since it's no longer socially acceptable to simply allow your kids to amuse themselves with light industrial machinery and/or playing out on the local A road you have to do something to get them out of the house Grin, but it so wasn't a thing back in the day.

Maybe it was growing up rurally but I hardly remember being taken anywhere as an outing (other than church!) and certainly we didn't leave the village as a family hardly at all. We used to go to the county show all together every other year, that was about it, I think Mum and Dad used to occasionally go to the next town for the cinema/theatre, and when us kids got to be about 10 we were allowed to save our pocket money to go on the bus to the pictures or to the circus or funfair if it was in town, but this was expensive so a real treat, and Mum/Dad didn't come with us (also pretty dangerous given this would be up to about 20 miles away and again no way of contacting them if we got in trouble, but that's all of a piece with parenting standards in those days). There was a village fete/show too and us kids would take ourselves off to other neighbouring shows/fairs in the summer holidays, and there were sometimes school trips. We'd go on holiday maybe every other year camping or to visit family within the UK. We weren't poor at all by the way, we were actually a lot better off than the other families in the village who were farmers or farm workers or kept shops or other small businesses, and going away at all was unthinkable for them (only when you got married and got a few days' honeymoon, that was it).

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