To be so fed up of this crushing self-doubt

[CoffeeTable22]

I am so fed up of being a vicious bully to myself all day every day.
I've been like this since I was a child. I got bullied quite severely at school but had a supportive family growing up.

In some ways it's been great, because I'm always pushing myself to be the best I can be. I have some very impressive life achievements on paper.

However it's never enough. I'm always doubting my abilities, questioning achievements and test passes, not feeling deserving of them, feeling useless, comparing myself to others constantly, worrying what people think of me, the list goes on.

All I want is to feel confident in my own abilities and to not be so damn hard on myself. I've tried so much therapy, self help books, everything. Nothing works. Nothing. I get recommended counselling but I just think what's the point? I've tried it all before. I've been thinking this way my whole life, and I'm 35. It's not going to change that easily is it?

Can anyone resonate?

Yes.

My logical brain can see that I cause my own misery because I have a lot of love in my life. Emotionally I feel useless. You can’t logic out of an emotional problem but I haven’t found the way out yet..am joining this thread in case anyone has found a way through.

That sounds really tough, I’m sorry you feel unable to break the negative self talk. Have you tried CBT?

Whilst I don't have much advice, I can definitely sympathise and resonate with what you say!

Like you, I have impressive achievements, a good job etc. But I have major self doubt - constantly think people are doing a better job/my manager doesn't think I am good enough etc.

It's really hard 😔