Would you tell noisy children to be quiet?

[BePoliteOpalQuail]

If they weren't yours.
Just had a 40 minute bus journey with 2 young boys shrieking at top note, shouting, for the entire journey. The occasional sssh from their mum/guardian but that's it. I know there's only so much she could do, but they were infuriating.
I felt like I couldn't say anything, but I was tempted. Nobody else did either, would you have done?
I could still hear them through music, need some noise cancelling earphones.

My friend did it once to their neighbours kids who were making her life a misery when their parents failed to ask them to stop shrieking from 8am-8pm every day in the summer holidays. She had a relationship with the kids as well, babysat them (and talked to them most days as they have a massive piece of climbing equipment in the garden so were always up there shouting at her from their garden). Their mum was her friend, they socialised.

their mother went ballistic and now doesn’t talk to her 😂 very awkward when she has garden parties and the like.

so on that basis I probably wouldn’t. People are very precious about their kids.

Just think how messy the night will be if they were that loud at 4pm and how bad their heads will be the morning after

You needed this man:

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I would have engaged the mother in conversation and said how difficult it must be for her bringing up boys…they need a lot parenting don’t they, or they’ll be an absolute pain to everyone around. pointed look

Passive aggressive

Not only that but you don't know the circumstances.

How old is she? I don’t think it’s ever nice to tell a child to ‘shut up’. It reflects badly on the adult. I’m all for children learning that they need to be quiet in various situations but I’d be shocked to hear an adult tell them to ‘shut up’.

I have been known to channel my child’s old headmistress, and let out a very loud, short, sharp, hissed “shhhhhh” when this happens. Maybe it’s a headmistress thing, because it usually works 😂

Yes I would say along the lines of 'Now, listen to your parents and be quiet!' having learned that telling a child to not run under a gazebo as it is being put down is dangerous, results in said parent coming and telling me to F off

I wouldn't say anything if their mum was right there with them and she had already told them (albeit with no success) to be quieter.

I do tell kids off if they're doing something specifically to me, though, like kicking my seat or encroaching on my personal space or something. I was sitting at a table on a long train journey once and I eventually told off the very annoying child who was sitting next to me because he kept leaning over me to look at what I was doing on my iPad, the nosy little bugger.

I think 4 is too young to be expected to be very quiet, especially if they were excited. They're only little. And the mother may have been worn out. Or it just doesn't work - my youngest son has a louder speaking voice than anyone in our family and I am constantly shushing him. It gets exhausting.

I'm always just relieved it's not my kids and I'm not responsible for it. I am used to noisy kids,my 10yr old stims all day, whistles, shouts and can be prone to loud meltdowns. She hasn't been on a bus since she was 2.

This sounds like a situation that happened to my childminder on the bus yesterday. My childminder took my six year old (very complex needs) and younger brother on the bus for a day out. My six year old hasn’t been to school all term and had finally got the confidence to leave the house for a planned day out in Colchester. We have had such a struggle with him lately. He was so excited but he’s quite tricky to keep quiet. My childminder is amazing with him. She came home and he was so upset that a lady on the bus had shouted at them to be quiet. He never wants to get on a bus again now and hasn’t stopped talking about it all evening. My child has autism, sensory processing disorder and ADHD. So although on the surface he might look like an annoying overexcited child, it’s actually a really difficult situation to manage. Especially for my lovely childminder who took the boys out to give me a break yesterday. Now I have a child who never wants to get on a bus again because he was shouted at. So I would say you did the right thing not saying anything, rather I would move seats - unless it was you on the bus to Colchester yesterday OP and you did in fact shout at them! @BePoliteOpalQuail

You'd probably get a mouthful of abuse if you said that to the wrong parent. I don't use buses much now but when I was younger I spent quite a few bus journeys playing I spy with kids who were being loud /kicking the back of my seat.
Usually worked well and parents were grateful.
Don't know if I would now. Lots of parents don't like strangers talking to their kids.

Give them the look, no words needed.

I was an early years educator and I find that "the look" usually gets young children to quieten down. It seems to be a universal warning amongst small children 😅

I probably wouldn't say anything if the mum was already trying to quieten them down, as other people's kids' noise doesn't trigger me that much as at least I'm not responsible for them or making them behave.

Kudos to the mum I came across the other day, who after unsuccessfully trying to get one of her children to stop screeching at the other child - "you are right next to him, his ear is one inch from your head, you do not have to shout!" - told both her children, "if I hear one more sound from you, we will get off this bus and walk home!" I asked her how far it was and she said around 2 and a half miles, which I thought was a bit far for the kids - one looked around 5 - but she said they know she means it as she's followed through before and made them walk home.

It’s public transport. I think you have to suck it up. It’d do my head in as well but I’d grit my teeth and probably get off a stop earlier. None of us know what sort of a day that parent to those boys have had

I never have for noise, but there was once a little boy running up and down the aisle on the bus while it was in motion and my anxiety just couldn't take it 😬 I had to tell him to sit down as it was dangerous. Mum wasn't bothered about the running on a moving vehicle or me saying anything 🙄

This. I would want to say something but would be afraid to tbh.

A kinder way to do it is to over them a snack / sweet / gum if you have one but tell them they have to sit still and be quiet to eat it

gets your point across but without the possibility of anger from mum , only works if you always have snacks on you or in your shopping

i doubt i would dare but a look might do the trick

Never had to tell a kid to shut up in public but yesterday we were enjoying a drink in the sun outside a pub and two around ages 9 and 4 were playing football near our table.I just said "excuse me can you move further away please,thanks" They did and it was fine.