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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you think pet owners who travel are cruel?

66 replies

BePoliteOpalQuail · 10/04/2025 10:21

I mean for a couple of nights here and there, every few months. Not talking about getting a pet then leaving it weeks on end, and obviously the pet would be left with a trusted sitter or in a cattery/kennels.

OP posts:
Original poster
BePoliteOpalQuail · 10/04/2025 10:22

My friend is a pet sitter and has bookings every week.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 10/04/2025 10:23

I may have misunderstood - but are you saying that pet owners should never go away for a night or two?

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 10/04/2025 10:23

Of course not. Cats and dogs can live for a good 20 years, it’s unreasonable to expect someone not to travel for all those years.

toomuchfaff · 10/04/2025 10:23

Do you think pet owners who travel are cruel?

No.

Do you?

Do you think getting a pet means you should then be tied to the house never to leave again?

idontunderstandwhy · 10/04/2025 10:23

No, do you?

Shirkingly · 10/04/2025 10:24

No, everyone who gets a pet should have to sign a legally-binding document saying they will never leave their house for more than four hours at a time.

Or, you know, not.

Coali · 10/04/2025 10:24

Does your friend only work for one family?! I would imagine a good pet sitter should have bookings every week, how would they survive?

Original poster
BePoliteOpalQuail · 10/04/2025 10:24

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 10/04/2025 10:23

I may have misunderstood - but are you saying that pet owners should never go away for a night or two?

No, I'm saying they absolutely should. Sorry should've been clearer, but I've just been made to feel irresponsible for leaving her with a sitter for 2 days.

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 10/04/2025 10:24

It’s good business for your friend.

People have good reasons to travel like seeing friends and family so it’s unfair to judge. Ideally some pets would get to travel eg dog going to the beach but some pets can’t travel really

Shirkingly · 10/04/2025 10:25

BePoliteOpalQuail · 10/04/2025 10:24

No, I'm saying they absolutely should. Sorry should've been clearer, but I've just been made to feel irresponsible for leaving her with a sitter for 2 days.

Show quote history

By whom?

bettydavieseyes · 10/04/2025 10:25

Why is it cruel? I know a couple who never go anywhere without their dog and this seems extreme to me. I can only conclude they don't want to and are happy with that. I have 2 small dogs and happily leave them with family when we go away, often a night or 2 a month and a couple of holidays a year.

EmmaEmEmz · 10/04/2025 10:25

Of course not.

The second situation - leaving them for weeks or months on end, yes, but for a few days or a week every so often, absolutely not. We take our dogs with us most of the time because a) I miss them too much being away from them and b) our breakdown and holidays tend to be places where we can easily take them, but I have no hesitation for a few days if we go somewhere unsuitable. We have an amazing profesional dog boarder that ours go to when we can't take them who looks after them like they're her own, and they love their time there.

ilovesooty · 10/04/2025 10:26

No. My cats go to a regular cattery if I'm away longer than overnight. I love them very much but I'm not prepared never to go away.

thenletskeepdancing · 10/04/2025 10:29

We just got back from 7 nights away for the first time in 3 years, since getting our rescue cat. We had a trusted person come every day to spend some time here and feed her and do her litter. We have done a single night away on occasion during this time with no issues. This time cat was understandably a bit sad and didn’t come out much for the sitter. She is clingy and very happy now we are home. We needed to go away for family reasons. We did worry about her and had contact with sitter throughout. Our dear little cat needs to get used to us being away on occasion as it isn’t practical to assume we would never go away.

PyrannosaurusRex · 10/04/2025 10:31

Of course not. DH and I go away for several nights a month and the dogs go to kennels which they love - they enjoy way more dog interaction/supervised play than they do on a normal day with us, they usually get a bath, and the owners know them well. Dogs love a routine, but it’s not good to make their lives so regimented and unchanging that any little deviation sets off anxiety. A bit of safe novelty is a positive thing.

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 10/04/2025 10:32

I think some pets suffer with separation anxiety. But this can be overcome, ideally when they are young.
I used to housesit for a guy who was often away on business. I formed a special bond with his dog. The dog loved his owner but I can guarantee that the dog had a great time with me because I was able to devote all my time to him, and we had a lot of fun exploring the countryside.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 10/04/2025 10:33

BePoliteOpalQuail · 10/04/2025 10:24

No, I'm saying they absolutely should. Sorry should've been clearer, but I've just been made to feel irresponsible for leaving her with a sitter for 2 days.

Show quote history

Thank goodness for that - your initial post sounded bonkers 🤣.

If we are away for more than overnight we get someone to feed /water and let our cats in and out. The cats don't complain.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 10/04/2025 10:34

No. Our cats have lived with us for 12-18 years (we have lots) and are very loved, cherished etc. but we still go away from time to time.
They are usually fed by our neighbours who love them and will spend time interacting with them too.

3WildOnes · 10/04/2025 10:35

Our dog absolutely loves his dog sitter who he also goes to for doggy day care. She even let's him sleep in bed with her. He can't wait to get in the door when we take him and squeaks in excitement as soon as he realises where we are going. I don't feel one bit of guilt and he stays with her for 2 weeks every summer as well as a couple of other single weeks and a few weekends each year.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 10/04/2025 10:35

I get a house sitter or leave my dog with one of my (adult) kids when I go away somewhere I can't take her. To be honest, it's even MORE of a holiday when I don't have her little whiskery face in my eye every hour of the day (she's a needy thing). I may have done a happy dance last time I drove away...

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/04/2025 10:36

Our two cats stay chez moi with adult DD and DS so their routine is the same and their environment is the same, I don't think they'd enjoy being in a cattery and our boy would be creeped out by someone strange in his house

The guineapigs went to pet boarding where we got the first two (because sadly Guinea pigs do end up being dumped or surrendered this way). They were well looked after but so happy to get their own garden back after

I wouldn't plan a long trip away from them but as long as they're being cared for its fine

Hellskitchen24 · 10/04/2025 10:40

No. My dog goes into kennels regularly even when I’m at home. She’s a pain in the arse if we have tradesmen etc in so it’s just easier. She likes it there and she’s well looked after. Likewise when I go away. I’m having a baby soon and will definitely be booking her in for some of that time so I get a bit of respite from her. If that makes me a terrible owner so be it!

I find it weirder when people get dogs and decide they are never leaving the country again because they couldn’t leave their precious dog. Or only ever holiday in the UK so the dog can come with them. It’s not a holiday if you have to think about the dog 24/7, are still picking up dog shit etc! But then I find fur mums a bit odd generally.

Yesterdaywassunny · 10/04/2025 10:40

Of course it's ok to go away and leave your pets - whoever is guilt tripping you is is very unreasonable. Pets aren't children - though you can leave kids with someone to care for them for a few days too.

Daisyvodka · 10/04/2025 10:41

Your response to this person is:
'It is part of responsible pet ownership to make sure that an animal can get used to being separated from its owner for a few days. It would be cruel and irresponsible of me not to make sure they are happy being apart from me, because if I ever got admitted to hospital, or if they had to stay overnight at the vets, and they had never been apart from me before, it could cause them a lot of distress.'

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/04/2025 10:48

Of course not - as long as the pets are well cared for while you’re away.

The only case I did find very sad and upsetting was a couple who’d refused to holiday anywhere if they couldn’t take the dog - until the dog was at least 10, when they thought a fortnight in Spain was overdue.

So they put the dog in kennels - where it pined away and died before their return. 😰