Hi, just wondering if I'm in the wrong here or if I'm overthinking it. I had been friends with this girl since school age we're now 23 so approx 10-11 years. I was perfectly fine until I started to feel un-comfy, disrespected and upset/angry with how she was treating me. I just don't know if I've over reacted or not but I ended up sending her a (in my opinion) nice polite message to say that I don't think we should continue to have meaningless convo's and that I'd always be here as a friend to support her and celebrate her etc I just didn't want to waste time on snapchat for example receiving blank messages. She ignored my message and hasn't spoken to me for 2-3 months I didn't get a happy birthday message which is totally fine but I never meant to offend her? As you can probably tell I struggle to explain myself well so will just list a couple of the things that made me feel that way below.
- Years ago we had been out at our local pub for food and a couple of drinks nothing much as I had work the next day. I'd started to suggest going back home and she didn't want to so agreed for another drink this ended up with her getting smashed and I called my boyfriend at the time to pick us up to take her home. Whilst in the car to hers she started trying to touch my now ex and tried to kiss him knowing I was sat right next to him so I snapped "wtf are you doing" sorta vibe. She's always pretended like this never happened or like it wasn't a big deal. First of many weird things.
- For her 21st I took her to her first big rave and paid for the hotel etc. when we got there it seemed fine, she then decided to leave me for a random boy. I spent hours trying to find her with security etc and when I did find her she'd been spiked by the lad she left me for so I then spent hours with the paramedic making sure she was ok took her back to the hotel and sorted her out. she slept whilst I was still awake then woke up and proceeded to facetime 4-5 different men showing them me in bed? just an FYI I only paid for it all as she'd mentioned wanting to do something big to celebrate such as this rave and she'd never been before and the fact she wasn't working but I work full time so I could afford it etc. She ruined the whole night after specifically saying to me it wouldn't be a night for boys immediately leaving me was a bit weird to me. I wouldn't ever have an issue with this normally I'd have been more than happy to spend the night with their group and make a couple of friends or whatever but she fully ran off and left me at the bar.
- This is the biggest issue I had recently which lead to me sending the message. I'm in a happy relationship (couple years), children and our own home now as well as still working full time so your standard busy ish life with more important priorities. She's never understood this which is fine but I've been told to "just leave the kids with their dad why can't he just have them" to get me to go out and party with her. I've not drank for around 2 years now I will very rarely have a drink in a beer garden or something if I really fancy it but it's just something I grew out of. Her last birthday she asked if I wanted to go away for a weekend and I said no as I didn't want to leave the boys and my partner as we'd only just moved into our new house and were still settling in I also couldn't afford it. She didn't take this well at all so I tried to compromise and said why don't we go for a meal and cocktails instead (my boyfriend said he'd give me the money so I could go) and so I can still be back home on the night. She agreed told me she'd booked it up and then didn't speak to me for 3 weeks so obviously we never made the booking and never went out. I still sent her a birthday message and told her I'd rebook the night out but got nothing.
There's so many other things like calling me when I'm putting the boys to bed or when I'm out at soft play and getting angry at me for tending to the children rather than listening to her when I've told her it's not a good time and I'd message or call her back when it was better suited. I've never not been supportive of her my boyfriend has even offered her advice etc. I just found it really weird almost clingy and strange like I couldn't do right from wrong or like she was expecting me to treat a friendship like a full on relationship.
Sorry it's so long I could've continued for ages explaining even more but never mind. Thank you to anyone that's read it all 😊