Is it a thing?

[ForSillyScroller]

I cannot sleep and decided to try to put what I feel is happening into words. Is it a thing? Or am I overthinking stuff?

1. we went shopping I said I wanted a beer and got one. My dh did not want any. coming home he took out shopping put the beer on the table saying: here is your mommys alcohol.
2. I have to go to the office everyday for the last 2 weeks . its commute to london come back at 6.30/7 thing. Dh complaing that I do it on purpose when I explained everyone including my boss have to go and I cannot say no. He proceeded to add that he will go to the office everyday next week (he doesnt need to) and I have to manage pick ups.
3. I wanted to talk in the evening I feel pretty down/ worn out/ our dd sleeps with us recently so she is between us. He says dd I love you sweet dreams I say I love you dd I love dh. I hear nothing back and I ask anyone love me ? Say it and dh goes: dont beg for love. he didnt want to talk went to sleep.
4. I say I have to buy another train ticket he proceeds to talk about me going to the office I say I asked and its two more weeks he laughs it off saying that he does everything and I do nothing. and I could stop working. I say I like my job and I earn almost same as him then he says I spend everything do it doesnt count.
5. we sit on the sofa dd pinched me hard to move me and sit. She has a phase of pinching and pulling hair/ hitting . I said stop it loudly and moved her away then explained as usual we dont pinch.. dh says I always shout at her and I am not maternal.

these are just last couple of days honestly is it me? What is going on? I am at a loss I feel like he is putting me down? Am I overthinking?

Irrespective of anything else do not give up your job!!

If you're going to go to a counsellor, go to one by yourself, no counsellor worthy of the title would see you as a couple.

How is your sex life? If it's on the wane I'd bet my house this is why he's being an arsehole.

It sounds to me that you are not doing ANYTHING wrong whereas he is trying to be difficult and saying unnecessary things to put you down. Don’t stand for it and don’t try to smooth it over for him. If you pander to him you’re saying you’re in the wrong. He’s an adult and a father and he needs to act like one.

OP the snide remarks, put-downs and withholding love and affection is emotional abuse - let that be 100% clear.

You are questioning yourself and left wondering what on earth you’ve done wrong. His refusal to discuss the issue is part of this. There is nothing you have done wrong here - he is at fault.

He also knows he is upsetting you and continues.

If this is not his usual behaviour then maybe something is going on with him, however that does not excuse his behaviour.

You can not “fix” this on your own.

You need to stand up for yourself - make it very clear to him that you will not put up with his awful attitude and nasty snide remarks. If he has a problem then he needs to have an adult conversation with you about what is bothering him so you can come up with a solution that you are both agreeable to.

The example you gave with the beer is just odd - what is wrong with you having a couple of beers? Again - I think this comment was to cause you confusion. Making you feel you were in the wrong for something completely normal.

The beer example is very much something my ex would do. Putting you down in front of your child is manipulative and wrong on so many levels. The way he phrased it is nasty also. This type of behaviour wears people down until they're exhausted. Emotional abuse is very confusing. I have heard people say anecdotally that having experienced both physical and emotional abuse the latter is worse.