Rude Husband

[Sopshi65]

I’ve been married to my second husband for over 10 years, we each have 3 grown children (6 in total) noe together. Since the beginning I have put a lot of time and effort into building a relationship with his children,which I still have. I moved into his family home when they were teenagers, and most of the day to day care was done by me. My children are older and because of a difficult break up with my first marriage they initially found it hard to accept my new relationship . My husband has never put any effort into resolving this, to the extent my children feel uncomfortable visiting me in my own home, he ignores them, makes no conversation .. Since Covid he mainly works from home, taking over the only reception room in the house, this means my children and now my grandchildren can’t visit me in my own home. I’m so upset as he shouted at one of my children over a very minor event and is now not talking to me, I have talked to him many times about working from the spare bedroom but he refuses, I feel as he’s the main wage earner he’s using this to control me.

No way would I allow a man to treat my children like this and taking over the main room so you can’t have visitors isn’t something a nice person would do

Any signs of Asperger's? Your sincerely, from someone who has a DH with the condition, who can come across as very rude and self absorbed to others (particularly in social situations/his private space - i.e the home)

Well- leave then?

i don’t really understand posts like this. You post about a horrible man, who is horrible to you and your kids and always has been, and yet you married him and now stay there still even though he’s horrible.

why don’t you leave?

first post nails it - again.

This situation will damage your relationship with your children - potentially irretrievably. It puts barriers to you forming meaningful relationships with your grandchildren. Is this how you see your future?

First, I think you should leave him if you think he’s using money to control you and he’s as bad as you say.
If you aren’t going to leave him, why not use the spare bedroom as another sitting room? Your children can visit you and sit there. Though the kitchen was always our preferred meeting room, I know many houses have silly little kitchens nowadays, but you do have a spare room. My neighbours use a bedroom as an extra sitting room, and there is no one using the downstairs room at all , but they like the view from upstairs.

One question, you said op that your kids were grown up but didn't accept your new relationship, how did this manifest itself?

I have a friend who recently split from his partner because her child (mid teens) couldn't accept the relationship and did everything to make it impossible. Lied - said my friend had hit him...friend was actually with me at the time as grandmother had come to see the boy, stole, hid car keys.

If you have the space, get him a garden pod! We got my husband a hully pod after he made me choose between him and the cat…