Teenage parenting is hard

[Mickeyricky]

Please no judgemental comments I'm trying my very best and this is so hard
I'm a single mother no family and quite isolated
I work full full time
I'm so worried about dd she has the second time in 2 months come home so drunk she threw up and can't function.
min between that we have instances of me going to work and her inviting other people round.

i am so scared for what the future holds and now I feel even more restricted as how can I work knowing what she is up to

i am out of ideas - it's just us two together and I feel like my lack of family suport or even people for us to relate to means our home is boring - I'm in so deep I don't know how to make our life better anymore as I am just exhausted

Her age here makes a huge difference.

I'm so worried about dd she has the second time in 2 months come home so drunk she threw up and can't function.
is she 13 or 18?

min between that we have instances of me going to work and her inviting other people round.
to do what? Surely she can have friends round. That is quite normal.

I’m the same op, I’ve no help either. Haven’t had a day off in over two years and have had some rough times with them. I’ve found trying to guide rather that govern has really helped. It seems mad but giving more trust and responsibility despite the mad behaviour had way more positive impact than hard discipline. They’re 14 and 16 now and have chilled right out. Get to know her and try some different approaches. It gets easier eventually

Age is quite relevant here. How old is she?

Sorry
she is 14 only just turned

she did have 2 friend around which I allowed I asked her not to allow 3 boys in because I know her friend likes one of them and I do not think that is suitable however she snuck them in and outright lied

I don't know whether I'm over worrying and this is teenage behaviour or whether it's really bad
I worry so much about her health and safety

Depending on her age, i hate to admit .. i did these exact things and it was pretty common teenage behaviour in my day. Not sure if it is now.

I ended up ok :) it was just a phase. Stressful and worrying none the less. If she's super young then more worrying of course,

So she does have adhd and I find strict rules make her completely kick back I try and do natural consequences for example a natural consequence of her drinking so heavily is that I cannot trust her to stay out at a friends all night as both times she has been so sick she threw up whilst half asleep - she could have choked

To be perfectly honest, I did this and worse at 14. It's that age where you feel a bit invincible and exposed to 'adult life'. So yes you're totally right to be worried and you should really punish her for going against the rules you specifically set. But it's probably a teenage phase.

Thanks I find it hard to know as a I had quite a traumatic childhood and was physically and sexually abused in my teenage years and I drank and took drugs and I'm scared that she will go dojwn that route but I am always checking she is ok and I know that she hasn't gone through that. She is a good kid really I just don't want her to get hurt

Your anxiety is completely understandable. And it must be an age where you feel slightly out of control.

If it was me, I would explain why you are so worried and set these boundaries. Tell her about the dangers of being drunk etc. Maybe even find some documentaries to watch. When I look back, I put myself in so much potential danger at times and wish I'd been a little more aware.

But me and most people from school went through this phase and we're a great sucessful bunch now 😂

I hope there will be severe consequences over this behaviour and defiance??

My 14 year old wouldn't see his phone for a month if he got that drunk! Nor having friends round. I'd also be phoning the other parents.

Where did they get the alcohol from?? Where was she drinking? What time do you expect her to be in?

She was out the house for 5 hours in the daytime
i checked in every hour. When she got home she seemed fine at first then about ten mins later she couldn't hide it

im not going to tell other parents that's their responsibility to check
up on I have enough on my plate to deal with

for tonight she's in bed with me I won't be able to work as feel I can't leave her

I know to a certain level teenagers push boundaries I'm just scared maybe we don't fave enough in our lives together - I think she is the type that wants to have a laugh with her friends
she came home earlier than I asked with a friend who was perfectly sober and helped her. She kept telling me that I have raised her right and that's why she came home because she did something she shouldn't