BIL on phone at all times, would you say anything?

[Purpleturtle43]

My husband's brother is glued to his phone at all times when in our company. I try not to spend much time with him as he is hard work but my MIL (who is wonderful and I am very close to) likes to have her family together now and again so we usually host family celebrations since we are the only ones with a house big enough.

I am trying to teach my children that we don't have phones at the table and in general they are very good at this, however it's getting harder to enforce it when he is constantly on his phone. Obviously he is an adult and it's up to him what he does but I find it hard to bite my tongue at such rudeness.

Would you say anything or just not bother? Or am I being judgemental and it's ok to be glued to your phone at the table?

If is absolutely not your place!

I think in your house it's fair to say something, or ask your husband to. I have a SIL like this and my husband did ask her not to be in her phone at the table. However now she will often stay in the living room alone with her phone while everyone else comes for dinner. Usually I tell her a second time that dinner is ready and if she still doesn't come through we start without her. It's so frustrating! So we solved the phone at the table issue but replaced it with another one!

But your husband could say something to his brother

Your house, your rules.

I think it's absolutely fine to say we don't have phoens at the table in this house.

Probably better if it comes form DH, but perfectly reasonable to have a food example set in yoir own home.

Yeah I didn't specifically mean me, I just meant one of us.

My friend’s DH is like this, it’s staggering to me that he doesn’t realise how rude he’s being. Their 7 year old DD goes to the same gymnastics class as ours, and at their termly ‘watching week’ last week where parents come to watch the class, he sat on his phone the whole time even though he was sitting feet away from his DD who could see he wasn’t watching her. I was next to him & he was looking at football clips on YouTube, and I don’t think he looked up once the whole class 🙄

OP - I’d ask BIL beforehand that you would rather he didn’t have his phone at the table.

Just get your husband to tell him that you don't have phones at the table as it sets a bad example for the children. It's bloody rude to be on his phone all the time when he's with his family anyway!

Ring him for a chat while sitting at the table with him.

Well what does your DH say about this? Nothing?

Why is this a problem if he only visits now and again?

My MIL constantly has her phone out. When we go to dinner she says ‘I’m not being rude but I’m doing…….’ Usually a game. It is rude, particularly as we’re usually paying for the dinner. But even when asked to put her phone away she accuses us of being ‘the queen’ and continues to play, so…….. 🤷🏼‍♀️