AIBU to tell my DDs to move away, Man in park playing with no children.

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AIBU to tell my DDs to move away.

Today at our local playground lots of children playing. There was a man with no children, driving a childs remote control car around. The play equipment, At one point my DDs started to follow him into the skate park, to watch him. AIBU to have told them to play somewhere else?

Of course he could have been completely fine minding his own business, and there is no law preventing an adult playing in the park with a child's toy car.

That's saddest of all. A young man must have a learning difficulty to enjoy a remote control car in a park? He couldn't be someone with an interest in mecanics/electronics who enjoys getting outdoors and testing his creations?

So you go there because you don't have a garden and it's the most convenient place to play, and he is there because he lives somewhere similar and it's the most convenient place to play with his car...

I think the OPs cautiousness was because he was at the play equipment itself, rather than being in a park in general (which would be very unreasonable of her to have an issue with). Obviously none of us know the specifics of the park but I assume she was worried he was trying to tempt kids to engage with him.

Most people would know that being among the play equipment if you don't have a child with you is going to make people wonder.

Always go with your instincts, we don't have to be kind to random men. It was quite right that you called them away, he shouldn't be bothered, while doing his hobby, just as though he was out jogging etc. Re LDs, the men still have a sex drive.

Yes this, if he had just been on a public path field or such. I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

YANBU. You weren’t rude or loud or causing a scene (tbh sometimes that IS necessary) or shouting “come on girls step away from the creepy man! Walk away now!”.

You saw a possible risk (similar to a dog off lead, a dodgy structure or half falling tree) and quietly mitigated that risk. Millions of parents do that daily in parks all over the world.

But the play equipment is on the hardstanding that he needs to run his car. How many other suitable places are there? And OP was with DC, what was going to happen anyway?

I mean it doesn't matter, she's perfectly entitled to move her children away if she chooses, but the children missed something they were interested in.

YANBU. You were not interfering with the man and his toy car at all either.

Totally agree with you. Maybe he's on holiday too either because he's a student or someone that works in a school it's a sunny day, why shouldn't he take his remote control car to the best place to use it???

OP, it's never the wrong thing to do to follow your instincts, BUT did you really feel there was something wrong with the situation or did you just instantly think no male danger??

There are plenty of boys and men out there, who no longer feel comfortable using facilities that are meant to be available to everybody.

I would have gone over and spoke to him myself. Eg. "Hi that's a cool car, the DC love it" then I would be able to tell a lot more about him from his reply and demeaner etc.

My radar would have been pinging so hard....you did the right thing

Has anyone told you you’re being unreasonable?

Oh come on, you know mumsnetters never knowingly engage with strangers 😂

What did you think might happen OP?, you were right there

It wouldn't have bothered me, but why would you be unreasonable to follow your own instinct? Has someone said you were wrong?

I guess I often question myself as I'm Autistic, and sometimes find it hard to read social situations correctly at times , it's just something that hass never happened at this playground. I didn't make a seen just called my DDs over to me as I wasn't sure of his intentions. There were a lot of children there without grownups. As a few were from my children's school.

Who knows what his intention was but presumably you would discourage your children from following on after someone they don't know regardless.

I would have watched with my DC as it is good to encourage interests in different hobbies. RC cars and such are how my DD started her interest in robotics and automation engineering. I don’t think it’s wierd to run an RC car on play equipment as it acts as a sort of ready made obstacle course that you can test the RC car on.

I would call them, I bet he was grateful for this. Surely he didn’t come to the park to play with 9 y.o.?
It could be that it’s his hobby or he’s got a present but there was no suitable space at home so he just went out of the house to the park opposite on his free day which happened to be a holiday for school kids. I wouldn’t see it as a sinister thing but I wouldn’t like small kids interfering in my activity so I would think that he didn’t either.

And I should add that if he was ND he wanted the company of small kids even less.

I would have done the same as you. Nobody can blame you for being cautious. If you didn’t call them over and he was dangerous, then you would have people calling you for that as well. Better to be safe than sorry.

He might have been heading to the skate park to get away from kids talking to him and was relieved when your DDs were no longer following him because you called them over. We’ll never know.

This is an egregious misrepresentation! OP didn't try to 'ban' the man from the park or ask him to change what he was doing in any way. She just moved her own kids on, which is the gentlest way possible to manage a situation she felt uncomfortable with.
There's no scenario where what she did was wrong. If he's working on a project she's given him peace and quiet!

They shouldn't be following strangers around anyway, whether they have kids with them or not.

You're absolutely right. Taking toys or puppies to a play area is a known way of paedophiles getting to know children. I would not trust any lone man hanging around a children's play area. Friendly good-looking young people can be abusers just as easily as old blokes in dirty macs.

It's not a 1970s public information film, surely no one takes puppies to parks. Where is this happening ?

The OP has under 10 year olds, she's not letting them out on their own or with strangers. He's not going to whisk two children away or anything

No one here can possibly know what the man was doing but it's very unhealthy to assume every situation is dangerous, no wonder young people struggle with everyday life so much nowadays