Cat not given back to me, aibu?

[BePoliteOpalQuail]

I posted yesterday, my foster cat managed to squeeze out of a very small gap.
I later learned from the rescue that he'd done that before in some manner. Had to go to work today, a volunteer managed to successfully trap him and my friend went over to my flat to assist as I'm at work.

Asked my friend if the cat had been taken back to my flat and was told the volunteer had driven the cat back to the rescue, an hour away.

I hadn't been informed of this and I'm unsure if I'll be getting him back. Called but no reply so just sent a text. Apparently they're checking if he's injured which is good, but I'm wondering if they'll just not give him me back.

I felt rubbish enough as it is and now thinking they've just taken the cat back and will not trust me with another one. Does it sound like this?

This is what I'm thinking really. I'm really gutted, but perhaps he belongs in that sort of environment. They came to check my home and said it was suitable for him, as well as me having another cat.
They wanted him to be socialised and to become a house cat

They wanted him to be socialised and to become a house cat

A feral outdoor cat is highly unlikely to ever be a suitable house cat.

Presumably as they told you he could go outside eventually he doesn't have FIV or anything necessitating him being indoors.

It sounds ridiculously naive of a rescue to be trying to turn an outdoor feral into an indoor flat cat. Add in not telling you he was good at escaping I think they've let you and the cat down.

Is it a professional rescue or a well meaning one set up by someone kind but not realistic?

No no illnesses or ailments, and he's only 1 year old.

The lady doing my home visit said he could go out eventually yes. I was only told he would hide a lot but indeed I was never told he was good at escaping.
I was supposed to have him to help him socialise and ready for a permanent home.

It's a local rescue, not as big as cats protection etc.

Flat cats just reminds me of literally, a flat cat.

I think the main thing is that he was successfully caught safe and without injury OP.

Just feel like if i hadn't been such an idiot, I'd still have him.

It's possible they may think your home isn't suitable for him. Which it isn't really, confining a cat who has been used to outdoor life is an odd decision, especially when there is a resident cat there. He is weeing on your couch which says he is not happy at all.

But that is not your fault, the rescue centre made the decision not you. I realise they want to try to socialise him but that is a big ask for a year old cat. I rehomed a semi feral myself at 5 months and that worked out fine, but once they are older than that it gets more difficult, our rescue organisation homed older ferals as outdoor farm cats.

Thanks, I'll try to not take it as a failure.
They met my other cat and found her suitable and to be fair, she hasn't been bothered by him at all, she's sniffed him and just carried on as normal.

I agree that maybe it is too late to socialise such a cat and I should've also realised this. I can't financially commit to owning 2 cats permanently so I thought fostering would be a good alternative, and would help out a cat in need.

Maybe like people have suggested, he should be rehomed as a farm cat. I did feel bad on him being stuck in a flat all day

Try not to blame yourself, some cats really are very determined! We have one that squeezed himself through a 2-inch gap to get out the side of the house he’s not allowed out of! Fortunately he’s a bit of a muppet and, having got out, just ran up and down outside in a panic because he couldn’t get back in 😄

A year old isn’t too late to socialise a cat, I adopted an older cat that had been part of a feral colony (she was well into middle age) and although it took a long time she did come around to humans eventually. I think it’s helpful if you have another cat, too – she used to sit in the lounge doorway watching me and my other cat hanging out on the sofa, him in my lap and loving being fussed, and I think she registered that we weren’t such a threat. Over a couple of years, she went from spitting and growling at me to smacking me in the face when breakfast was late!

He's not 'your' cat, then. He doesn't belong to you. You've been looking after him temporarily and it seems that your home isn't suitable for him if he's escaped more than once.

You sound like a lovely cat-loving person so maybe they just need to match you with a different cat?

Apologies I meant he's previously escaped before coming to my home.

Thanks, I'll see what they say. They said he has an injury and the manager will let me know.

@BePoliteOpalQuail Your cat sounds fine with him. But if he was comfortable there he wouldn't wee on the sofa and squeeze himself through a tiny window gap, and it sounds as if yours is the second foster home where he did the same thing.

Our rescue organisation always tried to match the right cat with the right fosterer and this doesn't sound a great match, so I wouldn't take it as a fail. Let us know what they say - they may ask you to take him back!

Right, I've had an update. I'm not allowed to have her back because I went away for a night and my friend looked after her. And I've got a holiday planned end of June.
I do understand, I hope they'll find someone, I think it'll be difficult to find someone who never goes anywhere even for a night, but maybe they will!
If they didn't, pet sitters would be out of business.

Thanks for letting us know. I hope they find somewhere suitable for the cat, I feel sorry for him/her.

Do they have that rule for all fosterers or just for specific cats??? It sounds pretty restrictive.

I have no idea tbh.. but this was not communicated to me prior to collecting him.
I can totally understand someone getting the cat and going for weeks on end , that's not right, but realistically the cat being with a trusted pet sitter for a couple of days, what harm is that going to do?

It sounds incredibly unreasonable. When I fostered they wouldn't have accepted me being out for hours every day or away every weekend, but they were fine with occasional holidays as long as I had someone coming in.

It sounds as if they don't really know what they are doing, or what this cat needs.

It could've been solved/avoided with simple communication, like many things.

I think this is reasonable too. I feel stupid and the experience has knocked my confidence a bit. No plans to foster again.

That’s such a shame. I got a huge amount of pleasure from fostering & only stopped when I found myself adopting a cat who wanted to be solo.

The first rescue I applied to foster with messed me about, but the next one was brilliant & im still involved with them. Would you consider trying somewhere else if you’ve got more than one local rescue?

It's a foster cat. I belongs to the charity, not the OP.

That’s ridiculous. Other rescues will probably grab a willing foster carer with both hands!

I've looked through my paperwork again and it's not mentioned anywhere, I wasn't ever asked either. Still feel stupid, though.

Well, don’t.

And rescues are crying out for good fosterers so I really, really hope you’ll feel able to do it again - and now you know what questions to ask beforehand!

i wish people would stop saying ferals can't be socialised. It's so far from true and means so many cats aren't even given a chance. Yes, some don't want to live with humans but many, many will adapt happily to being pets. I've had one as a very happy indoor cat after he lived outside and totally feral for 15 years. I've socialised and rehomed many ferals, it is certainly possible. It also sounds like this is quite a young cat who would be highly likely to become a pet.

Look up the work Tiny Kittens do in Canada if you don't believe it is possible.

As for OP, I'm really glad the cat is caught and safe. Sadly it sounds like you don't have the best set up to socialise a feral cat but that shouldn't deter you from fostering for a rescue.