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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy DD a Disney princess doll

32 replies

Mummabear04 · 09/04/2025 09:39

So for context, we are 3 days into the Easter holidays and DS who is 2 yo has been unwell with a virus since the weekend. His temperature keeps spiking and he is having little bursts of energy and then will crash and will be quite shivery. DD is 5 yo and has been very patient and is "helping" me take care of him. I feel terrible that we haven't been able to go out and do all the fun stuff I've planned especially since the weather has been so sunny and warm, I just feel like we've been stuck inside most of the day (shes also a very active child who loves to be in motion). I've tried to fill our time with lots of crafts, baking, short jaunts out in the garden, playing with toys but we've also watched a lot of tv because DS has just not been well. Because of this she is only talking about disney princesses and keeps getting upset saying she wants 2 specific barbie dolls. I had planned to give DC a gift for Easter as well as chocolate as we are practising Christians and Easter is a very important holiday to us. It does seem a shame waiting until the last few days of the holiday to give her a toy (I will get her the disney barbie) but would IBU to give her it early in the holiday instead of wait to the end? The only thing that is putting me off is that she keeps begging for it and it kind of bugs me because she has a plethora of toys especially barbie dolls and I feel I do buy them little toys every so often. They're not spoiled but I do like to treat them and they have been given a lot of toys by family members (the only grandchildren on each side of the family). I don't want her to be spoiled and so the only thing that's putting me off is this begging and whining and her think she got it because she ground me down.

YABU make her wait
YANBU she's been very patient given the circumstances

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummabear04 · 09/04/2025 09:41

Also just to say I don't have anyone else who could take her out. DH is working full time and DP are on holiday and my inlaws don't help at all. With it being Easter a lot of her friends are in holiday clubs or on holiday too.

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 09/04/2025 09:44

Sounds like a rough time for you all. I'd give her the doll, something exciting sounds like a good idea for now!

Guistarry · 09/04/2025 09:45

Not sure why you wouldn't really, not anyone's fault but sounds like her holidays so far are pretty crap and although she's been asking for them it doesn't seem like you have an issue with her having the toys themselves.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/04/2025 09:46

Buy her the doll.

CatsMagic · 09/04/2025 09:49

If you are getting her the toy then get her the toy now so she can play with it whilst stuck inside - you can say it’s an early Easter Present or a ‘You have been really patient and helpful present’ , she’s only 5 and sounds like a very well rounded kid so I don’t think you need to worry about spoiling her .

SillySeal · 09/04/2025 09:51

I would buy her the doll. Sounds like the start of the holidays have been hard and she's been really good.

Full disclosure that I am a parent who randomly buys things for their kids just because as they are great kids so I wouldn't think twice if money wasn't an issue.

Sofiewoo · 09/04/2025 09:53

Do you really need permission from strangers for such a basic thing?

Floatlikeafeather2 · 09/04/2025 09:54

Why can't she play in the garden? She's 5. You don't have to be with her all the time. Children don't need to be dragged here and there constantly. Playing outside in this beautiful weather would be lovely for her. It might also do your son good to be outside for a bit.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/04/2025 09:54

Buy her the doll.

QuickPeachPoet · 09/04/2025 09:54

I am not one for spoiling kids but so far her holiday has been totally railroaded and she will go back to school having sat around at home for the duration. How miserable for her! So yes, she deserves an extra treat!

Boomer55 · 09/04/2025 09:57

I’d buy her the doll for being so helpful and kind towards her little brother.

Cestfoutu · 09/04/2025 10:18

Buy her the doll "from her brother" to thank her for being kind and patient.

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/04/2025 10:25

Cestfoutu · 09/04/2025 10:18

Buy her the doll "from her brother" to thank her for being kind and patient.

Really good idea.

Endofyear · 09/04/2025 12:47

Ah I'd buy her the doll. She's only 5 and she's been good and patient. Don't feel bad about not getting out and about, it's just life and can't be helped. Cuddle up and watch tv and have a lounge picnic on a blanket. Help her build a fort from blankets and chairs and play in there. You can have lots of fun at home!

JuvenileBigfoot · 09/04/2025 12:51

Floatlikeafeather2 · 09/04/2025 09:54

Why can't she play in the garden? She's 5. You don't have to be with her all the time. Children don't need to be dragged here and there constantly. Playing outside in this beautiful weather would be lovely for her. It might also do your son good to be outside for a bit.

Umm, reality check, not everyone has a nice safe garden where a 5yo can play unattended.

Rainydaysandwellybobs · 09/04/2025 12:52

So much justification for a sodding doll. She wants it, I assume you can afford it, just get it for her.
I used to buy mine the odd toy here and there at the supermarket 'just because '. I don't associate moral superiority with withholding toys though.

BexAubs20 · 09/04/2025 16:37

Aw it sounds like she’s trying really hard to help and be good. I’d give her it otherwise she might be resentful and think what’s the point.

leccybill · 09/04/2025 16:50

Could she go to holiday club for a day? That might be exciting.
Could your DP take some annual leave?
Don't beat yourself up, kids gets sick, she won't remember being stuck indoors for a few days.

Original poster
Mummabear04 · 09/04/2025 17:04

Thanks everyone, just an update. I did buy DD the doll and she was over the moon. I do worry about spoiling her as we have sooo many toys at home and like I said DC are the only grandchildren to 3 sets of grandparents as well as uncle's, aunts etc so they do get given a lot. DD won't play in the garden by herself and wants to always be around myself and/or DS so she didn't want to go out. I also suspect she might be brewing this virus too so we've again spent the day in doors making the best of it. Hopefully everyone will be well soon and we can get out and about.

OP posts:
MissDoubleU · 09/04/2025 17:27

Give her it early and make a point out of the fact she is getting it early because she has been very patient and understanding that her DB is unwell

cestlavielife · 09/04/2025 17:28

Youcan do as you like.
You feel she deserves it and would benefit
If you can afford it you do not need to justify

Floatlikeafeather2 · 09/04/2025 18:26

JuvenileBigfoot · 09/04/2025 12:51

Umm, reality check, not everyone has a nice safe garden where a 5yo can play unattended.

Show quote history

Umm, no need to be rude. The weather is so nice that doors and windows can be open so OP doesn't have to be far away. They've already mentioned playing in the garden. As I said though, a bit of fresh air probably wouldn't harm the poorly child, either.

JuvenileBigfoot · 09/04/2025 23:14

Floatlikeafeather2 · 09/04/2025 18:26

Umm, no need to be rude. The weather is so nice that doors and windows can be open so OP doesn't have to be far away. They've already mentioned playing in the garden. As I said though, a bit of fresh air probably wouldn't harm the poorly child, either.

Show quote history

I wasn't rude. I'm pointing out that not all gardens are safe for a 5yo to play in alone. OP could have a communal garden or just a front garden for all we know.
Again, not everyone has a nice safe garden. Or, indeed, a 5yo who is capable of playing outside alone.

DurinsBane · 10/04/2025 02:34

I’m interested where the 3rd set of grandparents came from

Floatlikeafeather2 · 10/04/2025 06:03

JuvenileBigfoot · 09/04/2025 23:14

I wasn't rude. I'm pointing out that not all gardens are safe for a 5yo to play in alone. OP could have a communal garden or just a front garden for all we know.
Again, not everyone has a nice safe garden. Or, indeed, a 5yo who is capable of playing outside alone.

Show quote history

Unless OP's daughter has some sort of special needs, which doesn't seem to be the case, a 5 year old should be more than capable of playing alone, inside or outside. If they can't, then it's because they haven't been allowed to learn. But I'm not giving instructions, I'm making suggestions, just like everyone else on this thread. If her garden isn't safe or close by, then that's different. Obviously.