To feel like my heart is broken after divorce

[Thegrassroots26]

Hey all,

Just that really. Is it normal to feel like this? And just to say that I’ve been split up over 5 years now, but just lately it’s been hitting so hard what a massive thing a marriage breakdown is, how much sadness and grief it causes and how that is ongoing as you have to navigate years and years of co-parenting. Feeling like someone is ripping out your heart and stomping on it when your kids are away from you again and again. The loneliness that eats away at you.
And this is a pretty amicable and reasonable split at they go. The marriage was not one that could’ve been saved so I don’t have that regret, but still never envisioned how hard life would be afterwards in different aspects due to the situation you end up in post divorce.

Someone please tell me it gets better! DCs are teens now.

Still alone and pretty much given up hope of meeting anyone else. Have dabbled in the dating world, and that provided a welcome distraction from these feelings, but was not always the right thing if I’m being completely honest. I’m early 40s.

Didn’t want to read and run, even if I’m not exactly in your situation.

My mum divorced my dad when I was a teen, she subsequently remarried which didn’t work out. Since her mid 50s she’s dabbled with dating a bit but then decided she much prefers being on her own. Over time she’s learned to like her own company and loves being able to please herself at home in terms of what to watch on TV, cook for dinner etc.

Sorry that things are hard right now for you though. You might meet someone lovely one day, but for now hopefully you’ll build up a better support network to feel less alone… are there any local organisations like Gingerbread where you could meet other people who can relate to how you are feeling maybe?

You’re not at all unreasonable to feel how you feel, whatever it looks like.

I’m just divorced after five years and there’s still a lot of grieving and processing going on, though also a lot of contentment and optimism too. It’s a weird mix of emotions. I feel like I should be further on after five years but we were together for nearly 25, so I’ve had to accept it’ll take time.

I don’t want to make room for anyone else right now, so I’m focusing on friendships, hobbies and therapy to work out how to be genuinely happy on my own. Are you doing/can you do anything like this?

I caught my ex cheating red handed 10 weeks ago. I filed for divorce the next day. I have waves of intense sadness. We were together for 27 years. All my adult life pretty much. I feel sad it's ended the way it had. I feel bitter hurt and angry. I wish we had parted on good terms . Not sure I'll ever get over it. Divorce is so sad and I've been told its like a grieving process but the other person is still alive