Dating after a loss

[purpleminii]

Is there such a thing as a dating site, looking for a soulmate and best friend but with no physical touch or intimacy?

I’ve just lost my best friend to suicide. Quite a complicated situation but we was my partner but he struggled with incredibly high levels of stress & became addicted to sleeping tablets as flying frequently to the US for work, and also then eventually alcohol. He was very poorly when he relapsed but the most wonderful friend to me the rest of the time.

The last 6 months of his life out relationship was purely platonic and we remained really close and best friends. I pretty much became his carer and his paramedic and counsellor and shopper and admin person.

But he meant to much to me. He was a wonderful friend to me, a lot of wisdom and great advice, so so kind, fantastic conversation and companion. His health was ok recently but he got devastating news earlier in March, and took an overdose.

Ive been so so upset. Cried every single day, serval times a day for 2 weeks at least.
I’m starting to feel better.
I just miss him so much. I miss the fact that we spoke so regularly, he knew me so well. If I needed to call someone, it was him.

Finding someone on a dating site is not the right thing for me at the moment. My impression is that men can’t really be “just” friends. They want to progress quickly to a proper relationship.

I’m on my own and really would like quality conversation and companionship.
But at this point, absolutely not ready for proper dating.

Where do I find this?

Ah op I'm so sorry, it's clear he was very precious to you and meant a great deal to you. It sounds like you've been a great friend to him as well and supported him through some difficult times.

It sounds from your post like this is very fresh for you still and I think there's something very human about wanting to fill the void that someone important leaves in your life when they're no longer around and I understand why you're thinking along the lines you are. But I think you might find it difficult because it sounds like the relationship you had was quite unique and there will be no replication of it. I would be trying to see that in a positive light - as it being something special that you both got to share.

I'm wondering if there were any hobbies or interests you and he shared that you could turn into a social outlet and potentially meet some new people while still honoring him at the same time? Like a book club/ walking club/ art class type of thing. Or maybe volunteering - I've met lots of interesting and kind people that way? The good thing is building on hobbies/interests/ volunteering means you know you'll definitely have something in common with the people you meet.

I personally would be wary of trying to meet people online given that your loss is very raw and there are a lot of people online who don't have good intentions and it sounds like meeting people in real life might be an emotionally safer way to go about it because then you can take people as you find them before you get invested.

Are you getting any support with your grief? Suicide is a very painful way to lose someone and it would be understandable if you were struggling. You deserve support as well.