Why I am becoming so cynical?

[RubyScales]

I just can’t shake the feeling off recently that deep down everybody is out for themselves - my friends, the kids friends, family etc. I don’t know why I’m becoming so cynical, it’s just that people seem to keep letting us down one way or another. I don’t know whether the problem is with me; I’m expecting too much of people; I’m getting a bit depressed, or whether I’m slowly becoming enlightened! I’m just struggling to feel like I can truly trust anyone nowadays. AIBU to be so cynical?

everybody is out for themselves

I don't understand why you think anyone would be any other way? If you assume this, then anything else is a bonus vs thinking the opposite and being disapointed.

In life, nobody owes you anything. Am not sure how you've been let down, but stop putting reliance or anything on other people. I'm thinking the "Let them" theory, Mel Robbins may help, Don't assume that people will respond, act or react how you would - you cant control their actions, you can only control your response to their actions. Instead let them be them, they aren't you, let them be them but listen and learn as to what their actions tell you about their priorities.

It's strangely liberating after a while. It's hard at first but it does work.

I can think like this too sometimes OP. It’s a defensiveness, a way to protect yourself, I totally get it. If you think the worst no one can get anything by you, it shows your not a pushover.
What helps me snap out of it is remembering that I’m selfish too, everyone else, it’s human nature and just because you a feeling negative about someone doesn’t mean they don’t have nice qualities too type thing. But I understand where you’re coming from. To me the opposite is to be naive and I think that is far worse in this world.

Thanks for your reply. I think what I’m also struggling with is moving on when I feel let down by someone. I don’t want to destroy relationships by being bitter and holding grudges but I don’t know how to get past this!

Thanks. I will definitely take a look at the ‘Let them’ theory!

@RubyScales are you only out for yourself? If not (and I'm assuming you are not) why would you think others are? Do you think you are a better person than these others you refer to? If not,again I'm assuming you don't think that, why would other people, in general, be worse than you?

That's not to say that some may be worse than you. But , by that metric, some may also be better a better person than you possibly.

there's plenty of videos on tictok and YouTube, I watched a lot and it seemed to "click" - it's difficult to grasp at first, thinking you're letting people walk over you, but that's not it, you're letting them do what they will do, not expecting anything from them, letting them show you "who" they are and you can work out from that "how" you feature.

I found that I had to (and still have too) repeat "let them, let them" when I'm trying to process events and emotions in relation to something emotive, or close to my heart.

I think it might be time to expand your circle. You become the average of the people in your life. If everyone in your life is selfish, then it makes you more likely to act in the same way. Why not volunteer somewhere or do something that is giving back to the community. The more you do this, the more likely you are to meet others with a giving personality. It might restore your faith in people a bit!