Anyone else’s partner a delight in person but not on the phone?

[Dontcallmemaybee]

Is anyone else in a relationship, whether new or old, where they are wonderfully happy and compatible in person, but struggle to connect on the phone or via text?

I am so absolutely in love with my wonderful partner and we’re so in tune when we’re together (been together a year). I could spend endless hours with him and it’s always bliss. We never run out of conversation, we’re kind to each other, we laugh our heads off, we’re tactile, we have fabulous chemistry.

As soon as we call or text though, I really struggle to connect with him. Sometimes he’s very blunt and comes across rude and other times he’s just plain odd. On reflection, 99% of the disagreements we have come from me misunderstanding or being offended by his cold phone or text manner.

I almost can’t reconcile the phone and text version of him with the lovely in-person version.

He loves to call and text, I should add! Sometimes he’ll call and chat for hours and spend the whole time sounding like he’s been forced to call.

Desperately curious to know if anyone else has a partner like this or if I’m dating an alien!

And NO, he most definitely definitely doesn’t have another partner, family, secret life, etc. He’s just an oddball.

That’s weird. Have you asked him?

DH and I have been together for 10 years and I’ve never had a telephone conversation with him beyond “can you get this on your way home”.

People look at phones in different ways. Some people use them all the time for the most trivial things. Others hardly ever use them except in dire emergencies.

Some people see them as very intrusive as they might have a train of thought going on a difficult subject and being interrupted to be asked whether they want peas or carrots wrecks the entire thought pattern they have built up. Others never have to think about anything difficult anyway, so there are no thought patterns to wreck and they don't care.

Others dislike them because they are good at non verbal communication and like to be with someone in person if possible when they are talking to get visual clues.

TLDR, people are different, some people like talking endlessly on phones, others see them as a nuisance and dislike being phoned especially when a less intrusive text or whatsapp would be more than adequate.

Me and DH are both quite crap on the phone! Message all the time, obviously great in person. But phone call just feels so unnatural to me and the forced ‘what have you been doing, how is your day?’ etc just pisses me off. He’s away for work a fair bit and we have no problem going a week at a time without a call 😁 message constantly though.

Ive never chatted on the phone with anyone though. I just have childhood memories of having the phone thrust to me with a grandparent on the other end wanting to make awkward conversation. So it’s probably to do with that! Never have phone calls with friends, we’ve done messages for our whole friendships (hours of MSN back in the day after a full day together at school!)

I hate talking on the phone. Awful.

It’s painful talking to my husband on the phone. In real life he is great, engaging and talkative. On the phone, monosyllabic.

My husband is useless at texting, I can send him some good news or a funny story about the kids or whatever that in person he'd have a good response/reaction to but over text he'll just send "ok" drives me insane 😂

My new man is like this. It's difficult for me really as we only see each other twice a week. I almost forget why I like him until I see him again tbh.

We get on so well in person. I just have to keep reminding myself of this in the interim to keep me going.