Abusive mother help

[derQuereinsteiger]

I am asking for some advice about my mother. I have always suspected that she has been abusive, but I tend to doubt my own judgement. Ever since I was small she was both physically and emotionally violent, but I've gone through life (I'm now 35) doubting myself because my father always defends her.

I was utterly terrified of my mother growing up, to the point where my dad would often have to separate us to stop the violence. I've tried to build a relationship with her over the years, but it never works. I can never seem to forget the terror of being a child and awfully frightened of her after the hitting and the shouting.

I have tried to tell so many people over the years, but they either doubt me or blame me for it, and I suppose I just want some help (or validation) that what I went through wasn't normal.

I'm not sure anyone here can relate, but if you can, I'd like some advice/help.

I can't relate, but I can confirm what you end through isn't normal. I think therapy is really the only answer.

Definitely can relate OP - I went through same thing ❤️

What you describe is horrific abuse from your mother with your father as her enabler. Because your father always defended her, you doubt your own childhood experience at the hands of your abusive mother.

I think that going no contact with both your parents would help as would therapy as suggested by a previous poster.