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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SEN positive journeys/ despite academic challenges

2 replies

Inaminmum · 08/04/2025 13:43

Hi everyone,

I’ve just been reading through some threads and felt the need to reach out. My DD (5) was recently diagnosed with autism. She’s still very young, but after reading about some of the challenges other parents are facing, I find myself worrying about the future.

To give a bit of context — my childhood was very difficult. Looking back, I suspect my parents may have been undiagnosed neurodivergent themselves. They struggled a lot and weren’t really able to support me emotionally or academically. I had a tough time both socially and at school. I managed to get a few GCSEs, but not enough to do A-levels, so I took a diploma in business. Eventually, I worked my way up to getting a degree in the same subject, but it was a really hard journey. I felt lost and overwhelmed a lot of the time, and I didn’t have much support from school or home.

I had no real sense of direction or confidence in myself — the only thing I believed was that I needed to get a job in admin. But I struggled with social skills and self-belief. I lost a job early on, which completely knocked my confidence. After that, I didn’t return to work. I was married by then, and we went through infertility struggles, so we chose to focus on IVF instead of job hunting.

Now that my younger child will be starting nursery, I’d really like to start looking for work again — but I still don’t know what I can do. There are a few courses I’m interested in, but I can’t access them because I don’t have the required GCSEs, which has been frustrating.

Since my daughter’s diagnosis, so much is starting to make sense — I strongly suspect I may be autistic or have ADHD (or both). Seeing things through this new lens, I just want to do everything I can to support my daughter and help her thrive in the ways I wasn’t able to. I’m doing my best to advocate for her, understand her needs, and be the support system I never had.

I’d really love to hear positive stories from other parents — especially those whose children were diagnosed young. How are your children doing now? What helped the most in supporting them?

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Seawolves · 08/04/2025 14:13

My son was diagnosed at 13 with Asperger's (he's in his 30s now), ADHD, dyspraxia and dysgraphia. He struggled at school, it was a miserable time for him but he flourished at college where he studied an animal based qualification. He is now a full time falconer, he's bloody good at what he does and is building a name for himself in the world of birds of prey. He lives independently and finally has a good, committed, steady relationship and friends he can count on, he is doing better in life than I ever dared hope.

With you on her side your daughter already has her strongest advocate and that is really important for our kids.

blubberball · 08/04/2025 14:16

Watch love on the spectrum on Netflix. It's so uplifting, positive and hopeful

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