To think my friend was out of order for going behind my back to my manager instead of talking to me directly?

[QuickViper]

Something happened at work - a friend (or so I thought) raised a “concern” about me to our manager instead of just coming to me directly. It wasn’t anything serious, just something she thought I’d said in a meeting that she found “inappropriate.” We’ve known each other for years, so I’m shocked she didn’t just message me or talk it out. It now feels like a betrayal. AIBU to be upset and feel like she threw me under the bus?

Lol I can't believe these poll results when OP deliberately gives no context whatsoever to what was actually said, which is extremely telling to me. If you have been friends for so long and you usually chat then her going to HR on this occasion says a lot as well. It sounds like your colleague called you out and you are upset because you thought your friendship would give you a pass for inappropriate behaviour.

It all depends on what you said and if she felt she could come to you with this. I agree if you are friends you should feel that you could. But we don't know your reaction to being approached so it's a tough one tbh.