To think punching a wall is the automatic end of a relationship

[Areyoureadyforit9]

Been divorced for over a year and this happened a couple of times in our relationship. I maybe naively didn't think too much about it. Knew it wasn't right but maybe hadn't prossed everything.

After watching MAFS Australia (I know!) everyone is outraged by it. I always thought it wasn't right but it's actually emotional abuse.

It is if you don't want to be next! Learned this the hard way.

And potentially the step before hitting the person instead of the door. They allow so much abusive, gas lighting and toxic behaviour and really no actual support. They should watch the footage and then comment and support and spell out what is abusive with that person leaving with support outside of the (really not an) "experiment".

I could have written your post OP - I also married a man who did this. In my case, it progressed to strangulation later on in the marriage, and I think this is where it becomes really dangerous because what it means is that you're dealing with someone who has no control over themselves and their emotions. It's so, so risky for women to be with men who behave like this and punch walls. One day, it's not the wall...

Currently, 30% of people voting disagree and think it shouldn't automatically be the end of a relationship. That's so naive, and tbf would also have been me when I was younger before I'd experienced this awful, slippery slope.

For anyone reading this with a wall-hitter of a partner - get out. At the very least you are being trained to behave in a certain way for fear of 'not setting them off'. It's abuse.

Watch ‘the maid’ if he’s hitting walls, you’re next

Just left my husband for this same behaviour. I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

A man who punches a wall has more red flags than a Corbyn rally. He has no self-control.

I don't know if it automatically leads to him punching you. It's abusive because it's used as an intimidation tactic.

An ex did this early in our relationship. Never forgotten it. Progressed to awful episodes of verbal abuse when he was drunk (which he called “arguments” but were basically him yelling terrible things at me) but thankfully I saw the light.

Dh is so calm he would never hit a wall it’s laughable to think of him doing this. Struggling to think of last time we even disagreed actually.

There's so many more red flags with this guy in mafs.

No spoilers but the punching the wall seemed to be not what the red flag was to Carina.

It's bizarre

Wish I did too. Its even in police questioning now about coercive control.

I was also strangled and bitten by a guy who started with punching a wall.

I will no longer tolerate any kind of aggression. The first sign that a man gets physical when he’s angry and he’s out. I called the police when a subsequent partner did it. It’s terrifying having someone behave like that in your home.

Why the twatty reply?

My teenage daughter admitted her ex did this when he got angry... when they were only 14! So glad she's out of it, terrifies me to think what would be happening if she was still with him

Unless something really terrible has happened.
My DH once punched a wall when someone close to him died.
That's once in our 12 year marriage that I've seen him do that.
So no I don't think it's always abusive but I'd say most of the time it is.. and definitely if this is something that's repeatedly happening

Kicking a hole in the bedroom wall was the deal breaker for me
I didn’t realise how bad it was until I was out of it
After I ended the relationship I asked a friends husband who was a joiner to do a few bits of maintenance for me including some window sills and badly fitting window frames - one of which was in the bedroom - his face when he saw the wall said it all! Although I hadn’t asked him to, he fixed it all up and didn’t add it onto the bill for the woodwork

It’s a formula.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0029395

This is chilling and needs to be more widely known.

Punching a wall isn’t the action of someone with normal levels of self-control. It’s aggressive, threatening, and one small step away from hitting a person. Definitely abusive and a deal breaker.

Yes it's definitely a sign to walk away.

Absolutely everyone should listen to this podcast. man, woman, boy, girl. It’s so good.

Honestly, this would bother me if I were you. Terrible things happen in life - you don't get a free card to be violent when they do. I've seen friends and relatives and me and my dh deal with the loss of a child and parents and siblings and all sorts of shit. None of them punched anything.

You should talk to him about this and ask him to get some help with his reactions.

If it happened once, 12 years ago, I think they’re fine, tbh.

Those saying it's a loss of control - no. They don't go round randomly punching buildings or their workplace. It's in the home, with a woman, to intimidate her. They know what they are doing.